Boundaries with grandparents

[Anonymous]

I have a family member who has herpes who stuck her finger inside my less than 24 hour old baby’s mouth bc she thought it was a good pacifier.

I almost murdered her. Mainly bc that’s disgusting and get YOUR FINGERS OUT OF MY BABYS MOUTH.

No one got herpes from it though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can everyone give OP a break? My babies were born during "normal times," and even then I did receive guidance from our pediatrician about health issues (both were born in winter) about flu, whooping cough, etc.

My pediatrician absolutely advised us about grandparents getting vaccines, etc. He said on-mouth kisses are a definite no, and he advised that kisses go on the top of the head, etc.

OP is just trying to go off of medical advice from a pediatrician during a pandemic, yes? This must be a scary time to be a new parent. How about just a wee bit of grace?

No. I cannot give anyone a break who accepts a summer’s worth of hospitality and immed launches into a question about screen boundaries!

The screens I agree was odd. But the pediatrician told a new parent no kisses during a pandemic. Calm down, y’all. Where’s your empathy? I think it’s reasonable to ask that kisses be forehead or back of head only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can everyone give OP a break? My babies were born during "normal times," and even then I did receive guidance from our pediatrician about health issues (both were born in winter) about flu, whooping cough, etc.

My pediatrician absolutely advised us about grandparents getting vaccines, etc. He said on-mouth kisses are a definite no, and he advised that kisses go on the top of the head, etc.

OP is just trying to go off of medical advice from a pediatrician during a pandemic, yes? This must be a scary time to be a new parent. How about just a wee bit of grace?

Who would even think to kiss a baby on the mouth? Doesn't everyone reserve "on the lips" kisses for romantic partners, not blood relatives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can everyone give OP a break? My babies were born during "normal times," and even then I did receive guidance from our pediatrician about health issues (both were born in winter) about flu, whooping cough, etc.

My pediatrician absolutely advised us about grandparents getting vaccines, etc. He said on-mouth kisses are a definite no, and he advised that kisses go on the top of the head, etc.

OP is just trying to go off of medical advice from a pediatrician during a pandemic, yes? This must be a scary time to be a new parent. How about just a wee bit of grace?

Who would even think to kiss a baby on the mouth? Doesn't everyone reserve "on the lips" kisses for romantic partners, not blood relatives?

Cheeks. No one would kiss a baby on the mouth but cheeks are generally the target.

Plus no one is questioning OP’s pediatrician’s advice. It’s OP asking for more boundaries she can impose on her hosts!

[Anonymous]

I want to be there when you tell your mom and dad (or better yet, MIL and FIL) that they can’t kiss their grandchild because you believe they have herpes.

Because that’s what they’re going to hear, right? And there’s no returning from accusing one of your parents of sleeping around. (Because again, that’s what this will translate to for them.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a family member who has herpes who stuck her finger inside my less than 24 hour old baby’s mouth bc she thought it was a good pacifier.

I almost murdered her. Mainly bc that’s disgusting and get YOUR FINGERS OUT OF MY BABYS MOUTH.

No one got herpes from it though.

So weird! I had three kids and that’s exactly what my LC suggested. Worked like a charm and they never got hooked on a pacifier. I don’t do it to other babies, but if more people did this, orthodontists wouldn’t be so rich.

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound really anxious about this. It is hard to have a baby in a pandemic, but this is not normal. Your child will be crawling and literally licking all kinds of things by then. A quick peck from grandma is going to be the least of your worries, and you will sound crazy if you tell them they can’t kiss their grandkid. You will have a hard time coming back from this.

Have you been screened for PPA?

[Anonymous]

Stay home. You are rude and nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can everyone give OP a break? My babies were born during "normal times," and even then I did receive guidance from our pediatrician about health issues (both were born in winter) about flu, whooping cough, etc.

My pediatrician absolutely advised us about grandparents getting vaccines, etc. He said on-mouth kisses are a definite no, and he advised that kisses go on the top of the head, etc.

OP is just trying to go off of medical advice from a pediatrician during a pandemic, yes? This must be a scary time to be a new parent. How about just a wee bit of grace?

Who would even think to kiss a baby on the mouth? Doesn't everyone reserve "on the lips" kisses for romantic partners, not blood relatives?

Annnnnndddd this is why we don’t dismiss other people’s questions outright. My ILs absolutely DID try to kiss both my babies on their mouths and had to eat reminded! -np

[Anonymous]

They will nod their head at your boundaries and then smoother the baby with smooches the second you leave the room.

[Anonymous]

^^BE reminded

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a family member who has herpes who stuck her finger inside my less than 24 hour old baby’s mouth bc she thought it was a good pacifier.

I almost murdered her. Mainly bc that’s disgusting and get YOUR FINGERS OUT OF MY BABYS MOUTH.

No one got herpes from it though.

So weird! I had three kids and that’s exactly what my LC suggested. Worked like a charm and they never got hooked on a pacifier. I don’t do it to other babies, but if more people did this, orthodontists wouldn’t be so rich.

If it was MY fingers that’s fine.

Also fingers aren’t better than a pacifier. Mainly because you can’t get rid of fingers if your child sucks their thumb. I’d much rather have a plastic thing I can toss out.

[Anonymous]

Op here. To clarify, grandparents are not hosting. We are renting out a house by the water as a family and staying together because grandparents only have one grandkid and want to have memories of his first summer. We are paying for the rental. I love them but have never experienced living with them before and wanted to know what kind of issues people could encounter with grandparents and babies. So far the best tip I’ve got is about safe sleep to thank you to the poster who mentioned that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. To clarify, grandparents are not hosting. We are renting out a house by the water as a family and staying together because grandparents only have one grandkid and want to have memories of his first summer. We are paying for the rental. I love them but have never experienced living with them before and wanted to know what kind of issues people could encounter with grandparents and babies. So far the best tip I’ve got is about safe sleep to thank you to the poster who mentioned that.

If you go in there with a bunch of rules you are likely to create problems. It doesn't matter who is paying.

The only things I can see is no feeding baby anything new, and don't interrupt nap time.

[Anonymous]

Of course grandparents can kiss the baby. You need a better ped.