my SIL refuses to get vaccinated

[Anonymous]

My kids miss their cousins so much. We haven’t had in person contact with them for over a year now. I’ve been telling my kids “as soon as the adults are vaccinated we can all be together again.” My brother already got vaccine, my dh and I will get as soon as we are eligible, but we just found out SIL has no plans to get it (like ever). Dh and I have strong feelings about this. I won’t say anything more because it will not be nice.
So do we stick with our plan and our kids suffer by continuing not to see their cousins? This is tough for me. But we’ve made a ton of sacrifices coming this far, been so careful all year, and just being like ‘ah well, screw it, we’ll take our chances’ feels completely irresponsible.

[Anonymous]

You’ll need to care less that your SIL risks getting covid. Can you keep kids mostly outside now that weather is better?

[Anonymous]

the rest of you are vaccinated, I would just ignore this fact and not discuss it with her. Get together.

There are going to be a lot of adults in your kids' lives who decline the vaccination. Many people of color are very hesitant, if not adamantly against the vaccine.

You will be fine, your kids will be fine. Family is important.

[Anonymous]

Get your vaccines and then wait until community spread is low and visit. You and your kids will come into contact with unvaccinated adults when you go to school and work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:the rest of you are vaccinated, I would just ignore this fact and not discuss it with her. Get together.

There are going to be a lot of adults in your kids' lives who decline the vaccination. Many people of color are very hesitant, if not adamantly against the vaccine.

You will be fine, your kids will be fine. Family is important.

Hey, so are many white people. Just saying...

[Anonymous]

Sure they “come into contact” with unvaccinated adults but they won’t be hugging them, being in the same house, sharing the same indoor air, being fed food by that person, etc. My kids were assuming they can be with their cousins normally inside our homes again once adults are vaccinated. They’ve waited a year. It feels like torture to them.
-OP

[Anonymous]

Get a hotel and see them only outdoors. As is completely your right. Your vaccinated brother’s family can get an Air BnB or beach house with you.

Choosing not to get it is completely her right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure they “come into contact” with unvaccinated adults but they won’t be hugging them, being in the same house, sharing the same indoor air, being fed food by that person, etc. My kids were assuming they can be with their cousins normally inside our homes again once adults are vaccinated. They’ve waited a year. It feels like torture to them.
-OP

I guess now is the time they will learn that other people disappoint you sometimes, but that you can’t control the decisions or bodies of grown adults.

[Anonymous]

Why did you make promises to your kids based on what other adults choose to do with their bodies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a hotel and see them only outdoors. As is completely your right. Your vaccinated brother’s family can get an Air BnB or beach house with you.

Choosing not to get it is completely her right.

They do not operate like this. They have been living normal life, no masks, no social distancing all year. Once we get together, it’s full contact at that point.
-OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you make promises to your kids based on what other adults choose to do with their bodies?

Because I assumed all educated adults would choose to get the vaccine.
—Op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a hotel and see them only outdoors. As is completely your right. Your vaccinated brother’s family can get an Air BnB or beach house with you.

Choosing not to get it is completely her right.

They do not operate like this. They have been living normal life, no masks, no social distancing all year. Once we get together, it’s full contact at that point.
-OP

Then I guess you won’t be seeing them.

[Anonymous]

You can’t make her get a vaccine. I’m sure some of your kids teachers, coaches, etc won’t be vaccinated either. It’s going to be a fact of life-not everyone, in fact, a larger percentage of the population, will not get vaccinated. Kids are less susceptible to Covid; the sil is the one choosing to take the biggest risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you make promises to your kids based on what other adults choose to do with their bodies?

Because I assumed all educated adults would choose to get the vaccine.
—Op

That was a really stupid assumption. Especially as “anti-vaxxer” has been a thing for decades.

So you’re telling me you already knew they were no-mask/life-as-normal people, but you assumed she’d get vaccinated?

Looks like you being “educated” does not mean you have common sense. Hey, just like SIL!

[Anonymous]

OP, I totally can see where you are coming from.

But the reality is is that unfortunately we cannot dictate what others do w/their bodies.
There are some people who may not be at the stage yet where they feel comfortable w/getting inoculated.
They may be anti-vaxx, not ready, etc.

And whether you agree w/your SIL’s decision or not - you must learn with time to accept it & work w/it.

Hope this helps‼️