Two-dad family. The kids sometimes call nanny “Mommy”

[Anonymous]

Two-dad family. Two preschoolers. Nanny has worked 50-60 hours a week since the oldest was born. In the last year the kids have started to call the nanny “mommy” at times, always in an exaggerated baby voice so it’s not like they think it is her name, they are just saying it in the same way that they would pretend to play house or put on a stern voice to be a bad guy when playing superhero. What do you think about this? Does it need to be addressed or is it something that can just be ignored?

[Anonymous]

I think the nanny should address it? "I know we play around and goof off sometimes, but my name is x, not mommy."

Then again, it really might just be pretend play. Maybe have the nanny ask them why they call her mommy?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t worry about it. First it sounds like they’re playing and second, this happens with heterosexual parents, single parents...hell my younger sister (14 years younger) called me mommy a bunch of times when she was a toddler.

[Anonymous]

Thanks. This is reassuring.

[Anonymous]

It’s totally normal and very common for kids to call a nanny or care giver mommy. I work daycare and so many kids have called me mommy at some point . It’s not that they think I’m their mom but it’s what they referred to me because I am the main female caregiver. Ignore.

[Anonymous]

"Mommy" to them might mean any female caregiver whom they love and who they feel safe with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two-dad family. Two preschoolers. Nanny has worked 50-60 hours a week since the oldest was born. In the last year the kids have started to call the nanny “mommy” at times, always in an exaggerated baby voice so it’s not like they think it is her name, they are just saying it in the same way that they would pretend to play house or put on a stern voice to be a bad guy when playing superhero. What do you think about this? Does it need to be addressed or is it something that can just be ignored?

Ignore. If it is/becomes an issue, nanny will handle it. When my son was that age, he called me "Connie" in an obnoxious tone. I have no idea why he did it, but he did off/on for 2 years. Preschoolers are weird.

[Anonymous]

How does the nanny feel about it? Does she see it as a sign of affection? Seems very harmless to me. I'd only care if the nanny did.
Two dads, one mom. Seems ok. Bonding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Mommy" to them might mean any female caregiver whom they love and who they feel safe with.

This. 60 hours a week is likely all of their waking hours during the week. It’s a logical conclusion.

[Anonymous]

Single mom by choice so no "daddy" in the picture here.

I think it's pretty harmless as long as it's happening alongside conversations about your family makeup that are clear. Something like some families have one mom and a kid, some families have two dads and two kids, some families have a mom and dad and kid, we are a two dad two kid family and we also have a lot of other people who love us like nanny, etc.

I don't think you need to do anything special here. Sounds like they are just playing. But I do think it's helpful for families like ours to do a lot of casual conversation about family definition.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like they're just goofing around and pretending, I wouldn't worry or do anything.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m a hetero mom, and when I head my daughter call someone else mommy my heart dropped and my head almost spun 360 degrees in jealousy. I was talked down.

What you’re feeling is normal! I playfully grabbed her and held her up in the air and was like “HEY! Listen little girl there is only one mama mamba in this house and that’s me you got it?!” She giggled and said I’m the mamba, you’re the baby! And ran away.

She once told me she wanted a different mommy and my lip trembled as my sister redirected. I held it together in the moment but I cried into my pillow like a teenage girl when I went to sleep that night.

Last when I was little and asked my mom where I came from, she told me the cabbage patch. I seriously thought I was picked out of a cabbage patch. Hopefully this brings all of my experiences full circle.

Yes, I’ve had therapy and we are all fine now.

The joys of parenting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sad situation all around (sounds like a troll post though so doubtful this is a real situation)

So you think the same of boarding schools that feed into these top tier universities you zone in school districts for? Stop judging. All families look different but the key element is love and acceptance. Your opinion is only meant to be hurtful and not helpful, that is sad and you should be ashamed.

[Anonymous]

I've worked for many mom dad families and the kids sometimes call me mommy. Sometimes it's just by mistake and sometimes they are playing. I just playfully tell them my name is X and not mommy and that mommy is mommy. Now I work for two dads and sometimes the preschoolers call me Papa or Daddy . I just again remind them that I'm X and not mommy or daddy but that I care about them and love them very much. Long story short don't worry OP. You are the parents and you will always come first with your babies!

[Anonymous]

PS don't listen to the posters about working too much or the kids needing a mom. The kids need parent(s) who love and care for them. That's it.