Two-dad family. The kids sometimes call nanny “Mommy”

[Anonymous]

OP - are you a father, the nanny, or someone whose opinion does not matter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you a father, the nanny, or someone whose opinion does not matter?

I’m the nanny. The dads are very loving and care about their kids a lot, but obviously they work long hours so I am the one with them most of their waking hours. I thought it would even out once the kids started preschool but they have started this new behavior of calling me “mommy.” At first I would say “Mommy? My name is ____!” But it continued and I am trying to figure out whether to shut it down more firmly or ignore it or bring it to the dads and let them decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you a father, the nanny, or someone whose opinion does not matter?

I’m the nanny. The dads are very loving and care about their kids a lot, but obviously they work long hours so I am the one with them most of their waking hours. I thought it would even out once the kids started preschool but they have started this new behavior of calling me “mommy.” At first I would say “Mommy? My name is ____!” But it continued and I am trying to figure out whether to shut it down more firmly or ignore it or bring it to the dads and let them decide.

How long has it been going on? If for more than a couple of weeks I'd go ahead and bring it up to the dads. You can tell them "They've been calling me 'mommy', I think as pretend or as a joke. At first I corrected them, and now I am ignoring it. It's not a big deal but I wanted to mention it in case there is a different way you'd like me to handle it"

[Anonymous]

OP: Didn't read the thread since I can't imagine how it's going.

My daughter is VERY attached to her nanny but since she has a mom, I'm called mom. Nanny is called by her name but if she had two dads, or just her one current dad and no me, I bet she'd call hers mom and rightfully so.

We called our nanny "the 3rd parent" b/c that's what she was.
(she stoped working with us when I got covid unemployed but they stay in touch. Texts, calls, video calls, ect)

[Anonymous]

My daycare tiny tots are with me 9 hours a day and often call me Mommy. It happens. You casually correct & move along. I only flinch if they call me Grandma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you a father, the nanny, or someone whose opinion does not matter?

I’m the nanny. The dads are very loving and care about their kids a lot, but obviously they work long hours so I am the one with them most of their waking hours. I thought it would even out once the kids started preschool but they have started this new behavior of calling me “mommy.” At first I would say “Mommy? My name is ____!” But it continued and I am trying to figure out whether to shut it down more firmly or ignore it or bring it to the dads and let them decide.

How long has it been going on? If for more than a couple of weeks I'd go ahead and bring it up to the dads. You can tell them "They've been calling me 'mommy', I think as pretend or as a joke. At first I corrected them, and now I am ignoring it. It's not a big deal but I wanted to mention it in case there is a different way you'd like me to handle it"

It’s been happening since spring. I think the chaos of the pandemic is part of it.

[Anonymous]

My nephew used to call me Mommy for a while, it was his name for any female he liked.

[Anonymous]

I’m a mom and both of my kids have called their caregiver mommy regularly until they grew out of it - maybe like at 2? I don’t think my 2 year old does it anymore but maybe my son did it longer. It hurt like hell the few times I heard it but everyone told me it was normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PS don't listen to the posters about working too much or the kids needing a mom. The kids need parent(s) who love and care for them. That's it.

Except you're a nanny so you have a vested interest. You need people to think like that.

I have a vested interest in the well being of children with the astute recognition that parents have to work for a living. Just like people who sell food have a vested interest in people who eat food.

You also went to boarding school, which is again unusual. You're not an expert on parenting for regular people.

That was me, a different PP...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two-dad family. Two preschoolers. Nanny has worked 50-60 hours a week since the oldest was born. In the last year the kids have started to call the nanny “mommy” at times, always in an exaggerated baby voice so it’s not like they think it is her name, they are just saying it in the same way that they would pretend to play house or put on a stern voice to be a bad guy when playing superhero. What do you think about this? Does it need to be addressed or is it something that can just be ignored?

Real question: How would you get them to stop calling their "mommy" figure, Mommy? Why are you threatened? Why does it matter? This is the downsides of working all the time and having no mom around.

Children of working parents have been shown to be more successful when they are older. That's the upside.

How do you define sucessfull? And you ignored my questions.

PP is addressing the OP. No one has to answer your questions.

Thanks for your super unnecessary response, pp!

[Anonymous]

My nephew lost his mother as a toddler and felt the need to call someone “Mommy”. His grandmother became “Mommy” until he was old enough to know that was incorrect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you a father, the nanny, or someone whose opinion does not matter?

I’m the nanny. The dads are very loving and care about their kids a lot, but obviously they work long hours so I am the one with them most of their waking hours. I thought it would even out once the kids started preschool but they have started this new behavior of calling me “mommy.” At first I would say “Mommy? My name is ____!” But it continued and I am trying to figure out whether to shut it down more firmly or ignore it or bring it to the dads and let them decide.

This is entirely different from your initial post. ok, troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sad situation all around (sounds like a troll post though so doubtful this is a real situation)

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you a father, the nanny, or someone whose opinion does not matter?

I’m the nanny. The dads are very loving and care about their kids a lot, but obviously they work long hours so I am the one with them most of their waking hours. I thought it would even out once the kids started preschool but they have started this new behavior of calling me “mommy.” At first I would say “Mommy? My name is ____!” But it continued and I am trying to figure out whether to shut it down more firmly or ignore it or bring it to the dads and let them decide.

This is entirely different from your initial post. ok, troll.

What strikes you as different? I tried to be neutral in the original statement because I wanted to hear from parents and nannies.

[Anonymous]

My son calls me Daddy all the time (I'm Mom) he's also 11 so not a small child. It happens.