Two-dad family. The kids sometimes call nanny “Mommy”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PS don't listen to the posters about working too much or the kids needing a mom. The kids need parent(s) who love and care for them. That's it.

Except you're a nanny so you have a vested interest. You need people to think like that.

[Anonymous]

I was overseas and we had a live in nanny - she was often with the kids more than me because I was working. Occasionally they called her mommy. It happened in my community a lot because we all had live in nannies. All our kids love us and know that we are the mommies (and daddies). Not a big thing.

[Anonymous]

I went to a boarding school; while I loved it, I was never confused about who my parents are, nor about who would be in my life in 20-40 years.

As a nanny now, I’ve had several kids who accidentally called me mom, mommy, dad, daddy, a sibling’s name or a teacher’s name. It doesn’t matter. The child is thinking about what they want to tell you, not what to call you. Or they’re playing and having fun. Or they’re being sarcastic. Or they’re trying something out, because their friends have mommies. Frankly, the only chance for a child to believe that a caregiver is the parent is if they’re young enough that they’re still preverbal AND the parent isn’t around during most waking hours. If they’re old enough to call someone Mommy? They are old enough that they understand that they have two daddies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t worry about it. First it sounds like they’re playing and second, this happens with heterosexual parents, single parents...hell my younger sister (14 years younger) called me mommy a bunch of times when she was a toddler.

This. My youngest called older sister mommy. Don’t give the issue more prominence than it needs to be. They’d stop on their own at some point anyway. Not worth the struggle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s totally normal and very common for kids to call a nanny or care giver mommy. I work daycare and so many kids have called me mommy at some point . It’s not that they think I’m their mom but it’s what they referred to me because I am the main female caregiver. Ignore.[/quote

+1 At school, younger kids frequently refer to their nanny as mommy or mom.]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m a hetero mom, and when I head my daughter call someone else mommy my heart dropped and my head almost spun 360 degrees in jealousy. I was talked down.

What you’re feeling is normal! I playfully grabbed her and held her up in the air and was like “HEY! Listen little girl there is only one mama mamba in this house and that’s me you got it?!” She giggled and said I’m the mamba, you’re the baby! And ran away.

She once told me she wanted a different mommy and my lip trembled as my sister redirected. I held it together in the moment but I cried into my pillow like a teenage girl when I went to sleep that night.

Last when I was little and asked my mom where I came from, she told me the cabbage patch. I seriously thought I was picked out of a cabbage patch. Hopefully this brings all of my experiences full circle.

Yes, I’ve had therapy and we are all fine now.

The joys of parenting!

you’re emotionally unstable.

[Anonymous]

OP, I hope no-one tried to shame you by pointing this out. As a single mom who hadn't yet been mommy-tracked, I've been told in a hush warning tone that one of my kids was calling the other mommy in their pretend play, as if it were a sign I should be home more. The kids are fine. I agree with the advice to tell the nanny to redirect. I'd also suggest you ignore the nanny, if her not redirecting until you ask was a passive way to make you uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Is your nanny hispanic? Does she call your kid mama or mami as a nickname?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PS don't listen to the posters about working too much or the kids needing a mom. The kids need parent(s) who love and care for them. That's it.

Except you're a nanny so you have a vested interest. You need people to think like that.

I have a vested interest in the well being of children with the astute recognition that parents have to work for a living. Just like people who sell food have a vested interest in people who eat food.

[Anonymous]

My kid has two moms and thinks it’s hilarious to call other kids “daddy”. They play around with names and rules. Don’t worry about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two-dad family. Two preschoolers. Nanny has worked 50-60 hours a week since the oldest was born. In the last year the kids have started to call the nanny “mommy” at times, always in an exaggerated baby voice so it’s not like they think it is her name, they are just saying it in the same way that they would pretend to play house or put on a stern voice to be a bad guy when playing superhero. What do you think about this? Does it need to be addressed or is it something that can just be ignored?

Real question: How would you get them to stop calling their "mommy" figure, Mommy? Why are you threatened? Why does it matter? This is the downsides of working all the time and having no mom around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PS don't listen to the posters about working too much or the kids needing a mom. The kids need parent(s) who love and care for them. That's it.

Except you're a nanny so you have a vested interest. You need people to think like that.

I have a vested interest in the well being of children with the astute recognition that parents have to work for a living. Just like people who sell food have a vested interest in people who eat food.

You also went to boarding school, which is again unusual. You're not an expert on parenting for regular people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two-dad family. Two preschoolers. Nanny has worked 50-60 hours a week since the oldest was born. In the last year the kids have started to call the nanny “mommy” at times, always in an exaggerated baby voice so it’s not like they think it is her name, they are just saying it in the same way that they would pretend to play house or put on a stern voice to be a bad guy when playing superhero. What do you think about this? Does it need to be addressed or is it something that can just be ignored?

Real question: How would you get them to stop calling their "mommy" figure, Mommy? Why are you threatened? Why does it matter? This is the downsides of working all the time and having no mom around.

Children of working parents have been shown to be more successful when they are older. That's the upside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two-dad family. Two preschoolers. Nanny has worked 50-60 hours a week since the oldest was born. In the last year the kids have started to call the nanny “mommy” at times, always in an exaggerated baby voice so it’s not like they think it is her name, they are just saying it in the same way that they would pretend to play house or put on a stern voice to be a bad guy when playing superhero. What do you think about this? Does it need to be addressed or is it something that can just be ignored?

Real question: How would you get them to stop calling their "mommy" figure, Mommy? Why are you threatened? Why does it matter? This is the downsides of working all the time and having no mom around.

Children of working parents have been shown to be more successful when they are older. That's the upside.

How do you define sucessfull? And you ignored my questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two-dad family. Two preschoolers. Nanny has worked 50-60 hours a week since the oldest was born. In the last year the kids have started to call the nanny “mommy” at times, always in an exaggerated baby voice so it’s not like they think it is her name, they are just saying it in the same way that they would pretend to play house or put on a stern voice to be a bad guy when playing superhero. What do you think about this? Does it need to be addressed or is it something that can just be ignored?

Real question: How would you get them to stop calling their "mommy" figure, Mommy? Why are you threatened? Why does it matter? This is the downsides of working all the time and having no mom around.

Children of working parents have been shown to be more successful when they are older. That's the upside.

How do you define sucessfull? And you ignored my questions.

PP is addressing the OP. No one has to answer your questions.