Two-dad family. The kids sometimes call nanny “Mommy”

[Anonymous]

My niece called me and her other aunt mommy for a while. We all ignored it. It was a phase. She was 3.5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you a father, the nanny, or someone whose opinion does not matter?

I’m the nanny. The dads are very loving and care about their kids a lot, but obviously they work long hours so I am the one with them most of their waking hours. I thought it would even out once the kids started preschool but they have started this new behavior of calling me “mommy.” At first I would say “Mommy? My name is ____!” But it continued and I am trying to figure out whether to shut it down more firmly or ignore it or bring it to the dads and let them decide.

How long has it been going on? If for more than a couple of weeks I'd go ahead and bring it up to the dads. You can tell them "They've been calling me 'mommy', I think as pretend or as a joke. At first I corrected them, and now I am ignoring it. It's not a big deal but I wanted to mention it in case there is a different way you'd like me to handle it"

It’s been happening since spring. I think the chaos of the pandemic is part of it.

Wait - you've let this go on a whole year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you a father, the nanny, or someone whose opinion does not matter?

I’m the nanny. The dads are very loving and care about their kids a lot, but obviously they work long hours so I am the one with them most of their waking hours. I thought it would even out once the kids started preschool but they have started this new behavior of calling me “mommy.” At first I would say “Mommy? My name is ____!” But it continued and I am trying to figure out whether to shut it down more firmly or ignore it or bring it to the dads and let them decide.

How long has it been going on? If for more than a couple of weeks I'd go ahead and bring it up to the dads. You can tell them "They've been calling me 'mommy', I think as pretend or as a joke. At first I corrected them, and now I am ignoring it. It's not a big deal but I wanted to mention it in case there is a different way you'd like me to handle it"

It’s been happening since spring. I think the chaos of the pandemic is part of it.

Wait - you've let this go on a whole year?

This should have gone to the parents after the first month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you a father, the nanny, or someone whose opinion does not matter?

I’m the nanny. The dads are very loving and care about their kids a lot, but obviously they work long hours so I am the one with them most of their waking hours. I thought it would even out once the kids started preschool but they have started this new behavior of calling me “mommy.” At first I would say “Mommy? My name is ____!” But it continued and I am trying to figure out whether to shut it down more firmly or ignore it or bring it to the dads and let them decide.

How long has it been going on? If for more than a couple of weeks I'd go ahead and bring it up to the dads. You can tell them "They've been calling me 'mommy', I think as pretend or as a joke. At first I corrected them, and now I am ignoring it. It's not a big deal but I wanted to mention it in case there is a different way you'd like me to handle it"

It’s been happening since spring. I think the chaos of the pandemic is part of it.

Wait - you've let this go on a whole year?

This should have gone to the parents after the first month.

It was originally very very sporadic. So like 2-3 times in one day, I would give the joking correction above each time, and it would be 3-4 weeks before it happened again, so I just thought each time was kind of the last time. I didn’t want to bring it up because I don’t want to hurt the dads’ feelings (like the PP who said she cried about something similar) over something that happened really rarely and may have ended on it’s own. But in the last 2 months it has started to happen like every other week. So the math on raising the issue vs. shut it down gently and move on is really different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you a father, the nanny, or someone whose opinion does not matter?

I’m the nanny. The dads are very loving and care about their kids a lot, but obviously they work long hours so I am the one with them most of their waking hours. I thought it would even out once the kids started preschool but they have started this new behavior of calling me “mommy.” At first I would say “Mommy? My name is ____!” But it continued and I am trying to figure out whether to shut it down more firmly or ignore it or bring it to the dads and let them decide.

How long has it been going on? If for more than a couple of weeks I'd go ahead and bring it up to the dads. You can tell them "They've been calling me 'mommy', I think as pretend or as a joke. At first I corrected them, and now I am ignoring it. It's not a big deal but I wanted to mention it in case there is a different way you'd like me to handle it"

It’s been happening since spring. I think the chaos of the pandemic is part of it.

Wait - you've let this go on a whole year?

This should have gone to the parents after the first month.

It was originally very very sporadic. So like 2-3 times in one day, I would give the joking correction above each time, and it would be 3-4 weeks before it happened again, so I just thought each time was kind of the last time. I didn’t want to bring it up because I don’t want to hurt the dads’ feelings (like the PP who said she cried about something similar) over something that happened really rarely and may have ended on it’s own. But in the last 2 months it has started to happen like every other week. So the math on raising the issue vs. shut it down gently and move on is really different.

Nope. The first time I would redirect. The second time would be laughing and correction. The third time in one day would mean a serious conversation with both parents after correction with no humor.

I'm their nanny, NOT their parent. It doesn't help anyone to allow a child to call someone else a parent. It's not the same as calling a trusted family friend "Auntie" or "Granny."