Property and...extended family?
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Anonymous
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DH and I own a house on a lake that we built from scratch, invested a lot of time and resources. No one from his side of the family ever contributed. With COVID, his siblings decided that the house is FAMILY house and started asking to stay there. We declined at first because we moved in there when schools closed and we all worked remote. We didn't want to be in DC with all that craziness. They pouted because a few of them live in apartments, kids don't have their own space and our house is big. It's big enough for 4 of us, that's how we wanted it. Had they contributed from the beginning, then maybe we would've built a bigger house. Now one of them is asking very firmly to move in there this summer for 3 months. Rent free. With her 4 kids and 2 dogs.
So I guess my question is...what is up with all the mooching? You don't contribute, you don't get your piece of the pie...I am just astonished that 40+ year old people are so entitled. |
Anonymous
| That’s insane. Maybe say that you wish you had a house big enough to accommodate everyone, but you don’t. And send them some rental listings for the area. |
Anonymous
| It's amazing how entitled people can be, and how bold the requests can be. Just say "no you can't move in to my house" and hopefully they will stop asking. |
Anonymous
| No is a complete sentence. |
Anonymous
| We dealt with something similar when we built a vacation home. One family just would not take no for an answer. We had to be firm and push back a few times before establishing a new boundary. It's what it is. Be prepared to say no over and over. |
Anonymous
| That’s insane. I assume you said no, full stop? |
Anonymous
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That is very weird. The house isn’t built on family land, is it? Otherwise, I don’t really see what would make people think they could ask such a thing.
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Anonymous
| Wow that’s some guts to ask. Just say no thst won’t work for us, or sure cleaning is $150/week and rent is $2000/week. |
Anonymous
Meh, just another humble brag. |
Anonymous
| Be careful she doesn't try the negotiation tactic of doing the "okay well how about just 2.5 months then?" "Okay so just july and august?" "I can't believe you're being so selfish! Then just let me stay for half of August - you won't even be there then!" |
Anonymous
We sure did. We got slammed with "it's the pandemic, we are all in this together, have some compassion". |
Anonymous
No family land. Brand new development area, built the place about 7 years ago. Before we started building, we did ask if they wanted to pitch in, it would've been fun to have cousins together. But they were very adamant and said "no". So we built something smaller and just for the 4 of us. |
Anonymous
She tried that too. |
Anonymous
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Are you going to be there the whole time? If not, then why can't you let them be there some of the time that you're not. Your post is nice enough but you keep bringing up the fact that you wanted them to go in on it with you so now, frankly, you're sounding very retaliatory.
We have a second home so I get it that you get a lot of requests. If we're not using the house then we let family members stay there. As long as they're good caretakers of our property and return it to us the way we left it (or better as happened when a cousin's husband did some major plantings that we had discussed in casual conversation but never undertaken) then we're fine. When your post mentions less about 'they had the opportunity' and more about other reasons then you'll get a pass from me. Otherwise like I said you sound like you're being retaliatory. |
Anonymous
Yep. Tell them to F off. |