Sidwell or St. Albans for 9th?

[Anonymous]

Sidwell or STA for overall quality of experience and quality of life? Kid is smart, funny, kind and sporty but not a D1 recruit-to-be. Wants a great high school experience.

[Anonymous]

This is obviously the boy’s choice at this age. He will definitely have a preference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is obviously the boy’s choice at this age. He will definitely have a preference.

OP here. Agreed but he really doesn't. School decisions are very difficult in a pandemic with no tours, no shadow days, etc.

[Anonymous]

Even without a shadow day, I'm surprised he doesn't have an opinion between all boys and coat-and-tie formality vs coed and less formality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even without a shadow day, I'm surprised he doesn't have an opinion between all boys and coat-and-tie formality vs coed and less formality.

This. OP, this is a lifestyle choice more than anything. My DS had the same choice a couple of years ago, and it was a fairly easy decision for him. Does he want all-male or coed? Does he want to wear a tie and collared shirt every day? Does he prefer a smaller student body (80 kids per grade) or a larger one (125 kids per grade)?

Everything else is more alike than different. Academics and teachers great at both, with the same frustrations.

[Anonymous]

It will be difficult to articulate why, but I think, if he really can't find a preference, he should choose St. Alban's. Kids who would choose Sidwell, would not even think twice about it (and many not have seriously considered St. Alban's), whereas, a boy who would be happy at St. Alban's would likely be fine anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It will be difficult to articulate why, but I think, if he really can't find a preference, he should choose St. Alban's. Kids who would choose Sidwell, would not even think twice about it (and many not have seriously considered St. Alban's), whereas, a boy who would be happy at St. Alban's would likely be fine anywhere.

I know you said it’s hard to articulate, but can you try to explain this?

[Anonymous]

We have two sons, one who went to Sidwell and the other went to STA (more than a handful of years ago). My oldest went to Sidwell and responded well to the community. While there are many students who are hyper-competitive (as there are at all schools), my kid was a little more laidback, but definitely engaged and a bit of a smart ass (in the best way possible). He enjoyed going to a coed school and made many friendships with people of all genders. My youngest went to STA and enjoyed it also. Like at Sidwell, academics at STA are great. However, as a mother, I did not like some of the attitudes my youngest son learned about women at STA. Although there are many nice students at the school, there is a culture of misogyny there. When Obama first ran for the Democratic presidential nominee, many of my son's friends used to joke around with each other by saying "bros before hoes" (is that how you spell the plural, or is that just for the gardening implement?). I was glad when my son was able to take a class at NCS so he had some exposure to girls in the classroom. I am very feminist-identified, so hearing my son tell me some of the horrible things he heard go around the school disappointed me. I think that the new head is trying to change the culture, but I also have read and heard (on this site and among alums) that the school has its fair share of Trump-identified people (I won't dare call them Republicans). This is just my family's experience, and I know that YMMV, but I wanted to share our story. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It will be difficult to articulate why, but I think, if he really can't find a preference, he should choose St. Alban's. Kids who would choose Sidwell, would not even think twice about it (and many not have seriously considered St. Alban's), whereas, a boy who would be happy at St. Alban's would likely be fine anywhere.

I'm not totally sure I understand you, but I would argue the opposite, that in the absence of a strong preference for St. Alban's, he should choose Sidwell because co-ed should be the default, unless someone strongly wants single sex. The academics will be similar in both places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will be difficult to articulate why, but I think, if he really can't find a preference, he should choose St. Alban's. Kids who would choose Sidwell, would not even think twice about it (and many not have seriously considered St. Alban's), whereas, a boy who would be happy at St. Alban's would likely be fine anywhere.

I'm not totally sure I understand you, but I would argue the opposite, that in the absence of a strong preference for St. Alban's, he should choose Sidwell because co-ed should be the default, unless someone strongly wants single sex. The academics will be similar in both places.

So would I. Sidwell is more like a normal school, any other school in the country. You have to really want and like an all-boys atmosphere.

[Anonymous]

Sadly I heard all those same types of things at my coed school (bros before hos, etc). I’m not advocating for one school or another in this specific case, but I’m thinking through similar decisions for my kids, it was hard to know if this was a boys school thing (or worse at a boys school) or a teenage boy thing generally. We are looking hard at all girls for dd; this is one of the reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will be difficult to articulate why, but I think, if he really can't find a preference, he should choose St. Alban's. Kids who would choose Sidwell, would not even think twice about it (and many not have seriously considered St. Alban's), whereas, a boy who would be happy at St. Alban's would likely be fine anywhere.

I'm not totally sure I understand you, but I would argue the opposite, that in the absence of a strong preference for St. Alban's, he should choose Sidwell because co-ed should be the default, unless someone strongly wants single sex. The academics will be similar in both places.

So would I. Sidwell is more like a normal school, any other school in the country. You have to really want and like an all-boys atmosphere.

I guess that was the point -- since OP's son could see himself at the all boys' school, and doesn't have that default preference for co-ed, then STA is probably the better choice, because the Sidwell student likely wouldn't choose St. Alban's ever. So by not having that strong automatic default, he's actually showing a slight preference.

Anyway, good choice to have!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will be difficult to articulate why, but I think, if he really can't find a preference, he should choose St. Alban's. Kids who would choose Sidwell, would not even think twice about it (and many not have seriously considered St. Alban's), whereas, a boy who would be happy at St. Alban's would likely be fine anywhere.

I'm not totally sure I understand you, but I would argue the opposite, that in the absence of a strong preference for St. Alban's, he should choose Sidwell because co-ed should be the default, unless someone strongly wants single sex. The academics will be similar in both places.

So would I. Sidwell is more like a normal school, any other school in the country. You have to really want and like an all-boys atmosphere.

I guess that was the point -- since OP's son could see himself at the all boys' school, and doesn't have that default preference for co-ed, then STA is probably the better choice, because the Sidwell student likely wouldn't choose St. Alban's ever. So by not having that strong automatic default, he's actually showing a slight preference.

Anyway, good choice to have!

That's interesting. My DS actually really agonized, if that is the right word, over the decision because there were certain points he really liked about each of them. In the end, he chose Sidwell and has been very happy there.

[Anonymous]

You have to really want single-sex and all that entails for STA.

If it is truly a coin toss, go with Sidwell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will be difficult to articulate why, but I think, if he really can't find a preference, he should choose St. Alban's. Kids who would choose Sidwell, would not even think twice about it (and many not have seriously considered St. Alban's), whereas, a boy who would be happy at St. Alban's would likely be fine anywhere.

I'm not totally sure I understand you, but I would argue the opposite, that in the absence of a strong preference for St. Alban's, he should choose Sidwell because co-ed should be the default, unless someone strongly wants single sex. The academics will be similar in both places.

So would I. Sidwell is more like a normal school, any other school in the country. You have to really want and like an all-boys atmosphere.

I guess that was the point -- since OP's son could see himself at the all boys' school, and doesn't have that default preference for co-ed, then STA is probably the better choice, because the Sidwell student likely wouldn't choose St. Alban's ever. So by not having that strong automatic default, he's actually showing a slight preference.

Anyway, good choice to have!

That's interesting. My DS actually really agonized, if that is the right word, over the decision because there were certain points he really liked about each of them. In the end, he chose Sidwell and has been very happy there.

Our ds felt similarly. The single-sex thing was one factor, but really not the driving difference. He picked sta, but again single sex wasn’t his decider (or not). They’re both top-notch programs.