Husband Constantly Sleeping In
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Anonymous
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We have one young child. Ever since covid began, he stays up late and sleeps in. On the weekdays, he barely gets up in time to take our child to school. I work outside the home and leave early, so it’s on him to take her. On the weekends, he will sleep until he’s forced to get up... 9:30/10 isn’t out of question for him. Meanwhile I get up with our child whenever she gets up. Sometimes I’m up with her 3+ hours before he can be bothered to get up.
My job is truly exhausting right now. I’m always like bone crushingly exhausted. I asked my husband if he’d get up with our child in the morning so I could sleep in ... he said “uh sure”. Flash forward to this morning, he slept on the couch and our child woke me up at 6:15. He slept till 9. He doesn’t get why I’m pissed right now. I keep getting more and more mad. Who’s out of line here? |
Anonymous
| Revenge sleep procrastination |
Anonymous
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Barely getting up in time to take kid to school is fine.
For the weekends, tell your husband that you are sleeping in on Saturdays or Sundays and he will be on kid duty (alternate Saturdays or Sundays if one is more preferential for some reason, otherwise just pick one. when that day comes and your kid wakes you up, send kid to dad. Continue to do as often as is required. |
Anonymous
Huh? |
Anonymous
Also, don’t have more kids with him. |
Anonymous
| Gosh, I wish DH would sleep in so I didn’t have to see or talk to him. DD is a joy. |
Anonymous
| What does he say when you talk to him about this? |
Anonymous
He’s pissed at me for getting on him about this. No “I’m sorry”. Oh and I’m “insane”. |
Anonymous
He’s trying to say “oh so sorry you have to spend time with DD, that must be awful” That’s literally not the point. We are coloring together now (while he surfs the internet for what will be like 8 hours straight I’m sure). I love to hang out with her. I’m just exhausted and wanted a couple extra hours of sleep. |
Anonymous
Definitely not planning on it |
Anonymous
To be fair, 9AM on a Saturday is pretty early. Who gets up earlier than that if they don't have to? Teach your DC to wait until an alarm sounds at 8AM before leaving their room. Or maybe to be a little self-sufficient if they're consistently ready to go before dawn. You never said how old they are so -- the self-sufficiency will depend. |
Anonymous
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My anxiety peaks in the evening and I end up with asleep pattern like your husband’s. Thank goodness DH is an early riser and is perfectly fine without me in the morning. You know what he does with DD? Nothing. She just entertains herself until I wake up. On the rare occasions he wakes up later, she just potters around the house by herself.
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Anonymous
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Leave for awhile. Go stay in a hotel overnight or a weekend. Or go away for a whole week.
One of the best things I ever did was make it a priority to go out of town 1-2 weeks a year by myself. Forces H to step it up. |
Anonymous
Oh, I also go away for a couple days whenever I get crushingly exhausted. Sleep is so important for health, and if I can't get it at home, I go get it somewhere else. |
Anonymous
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1) Kid should be told to stay in room until 7 am. If she's up, she can play independently until then.
2) Alternate days of who is in charge mornings. My DH used to be like yours and would sleep in (even later than 10) and take LONG naps during the day. He felt completely entitled to do this until I said enough was enough. Now, if he doesn't get up on his day, I physically put the kids in the bed and go close the door in our guest bedroom and go back to sleep there. That way, he doesn't have a choice. At first he would complain that he needed "five more minutes," but now he accepts the routine. On my days, there's coffee waiting for him downstairs when he gets up, on his days, there is coffee for me! |