How to fire a nanny for personality misfit

[Anonymous]

I am considering changing nannies after we've had ours for about 1.5 years. She is a good nanny, but not a good personality fit for our family. So there's nothing specific I can point to about her performance, and won't be firing her for cause.

How should I handle this? How much notice to give, what to say as my reason, etc.?

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

What about explaining that you are looking for another fit as your dc moves into other stages of his/her life. I'd give 2 weeks.

But, it's really hard to really know a person's personality from an interview. Be careful you're not going from a good nanny with a bleh personality to a bleh nanny with a great personality - or someone who didn't show their true personality during the interview.

[Anonymous]

Why is the nanny’s personality an issue at all? She’s there for your child(ren), not you. At most, you should be engaging in conversation for 5-10 minutes per day, to talk before and after her shift.

Unless her personality is causing issues with your child, I’m not understanding why you’d risk losing a great nanny just because you don’t click.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny, and I think personality definitely matters. I can't see myself working for somebody who's the complete opposite of who I am and vice-versa. I don't mean being soulmates but must be something in common.

The family I worked with before: The mom was the biggest drama queen ever born. Every little single thing was a big deal.
Nobody could stand her drama—no even her own family. I quit. I wasn't there for her, but a pleasant work environment is crucial for me.  

Current family: The mom is the most thoughtful, easy-going, drama-free, sensitive, understanding person. I have told her husband a couple of times how lucky he is for having married her. 

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am considering changing nannies after we've had ours for about 1.5 years. She is a good nanny, but not a good personality fit for our family. So there's nothing specific I can point to about her performance, and won't be firing her for cause.

How should I handle this? How much notice to give, what to say as my reason, etc.?

Thanks.

Consider your child here, not yourself.

[Anonymous]

Personality 100% matters. I’m surprised you got this far OP! What does your contract say? Mine requires 4 weeks notice and 2 weeks severance if terminating with out cause. If you don’t have anything like this in your contract, I would give her a 4 week notice and tell her you are pursuing other childcare because of change in needs.

[Anonymous]

I have a nanny for my children and not for me. If nanny’s personality had an ill- effect on my kids, I would terminate. If I just didn’t mesh with her - who cares?

[Anonymous]

Well for one thing, maybe don't use the term "fire." Saying "you're fired" is a term used when someone has actually done something wrong. "Let go" would be a better term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny, and I think personality definitely matters. I can't see myself working for somebody who's the complete opposite of who I am and vice-versa. I don't mean being soulmates but must be something in common.

The family I worked with before: The mom was the biggest drama queen ever born. Every little single thing was a big deal.
Nobody could stand her drama—no even her own family. I quit. I wasn't there for her, but a pleasant work environment is crucial for me.  

Current family: The mom is the most thoughtful, easy-going, drama-free, sensitive, understanding person. I have told her husband a couple of times how lucky he is for having married her. 

Another nanny here and I agree. I had one well paying position, a few miles from home, easy kids, but always dreaded going on because of mom's personality. It got so uncomfortable I quit with notice.

OP, I agree with pp who mentioned a different stage. Please give a minimum 4-6 weeks notice and if she's been good to the kids, a modest severance would definitely be appreciated. Good luck!

OP

[Anonymous]

I’ll take Your nanny. Please post her info in the nanny board thanks

[Anonymous]

It’s not a small thing for a child’s main caregiver to disappear. How much longer until your child is in school? I’d stick it out if you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a small thing for a child’s main caregiver to disappear. How much longer until your child is in school? I’d stick it out if you can.

Thanks for the unsolicited advice (I asked how to fire, not whether to fire), but also, I am my child's main caregiver, thank you very much. I am his mother. She is his nanny.

[Anonymous]

Think about it this way - if your employer let you go for a legitimate reason, but one not related to performance or one you could really control, how would you want them to handle it?

Assuming it's just a fit issue (e.g., you want her to be more of a disciplinarian) and not a personality conflict (e.g., she's overly dramatic and you have to spend too much time managing her), I would give her at least a month. It takes time to find another job, and if she hasn't actually done anything wrong, I would try to give her time to find something new. Nanny jobs aren't typically super high earning, and it could be tough to have even just a gap of a few weeks between paychecks.

I'd also try to be as generous as possible in your references.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a small thing for a child’s main caregiver to disappear. How much longer until your child is in school? I’d stick it out if you can.

Thanks for the unsolicited advice (I asked how to fire, not whether to fire), but also, I am my child's main caregiver, thank you very much. I am his mother. She is his nanny.

Oh, so the problem is you, not the nanny. Good luck finding someone else with this attitude. Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a small thing for a child’s main caregiver to disappear. How much longer until your child is in school? I’d stick it out if you can.

Thanks for the unsolicited advice (I asked how to fire, not whether to fire), but also, I am my child's main caregiver, thank you very much. I am his mother. She is his nanny.

OP, can you be specific about some of the issues? Have you talked to her in the past about them?