What's up with everyone wanting to see your newborn the second they are born?

[Anonymous]

30 weeks pregnant and been very irritable lately so let me if I am being too sensitive. I'm not sure why everyone in my family has been begging to either drop by and look at the baby through a window or pursued me to try to stay with us the first couple weeks.

BESIDES the fact that we are in a pandemic??? Hello people? They do know the newborn isn't going to magically disappear right? It's honestly been super frustrating reminding my family I have 0 interest in seeing anyone the first couple weeks.

[Anonymous]

"Your bump is cute"

Like, what? How is flesh cute?

[Anonymous]

From my experience, everyone is SOOO excited that boundaries just fly out the window

[Anonymous]

Everybody loves a new baby. They’ll ask but just have boundaries about no visits esp during covid. Keep them in the loop another way - meal train, birth announcements or FB group, etc. They’re just excited and it’s been a tough year.

[Anonymous]

They are excited for you. Damn people.

Yes, you are being too sensitive.

You can say no.

[Anonymous]

They’re not really excited and couldn’t give two Fs about seeing your kid. They are being polite and pretending to be excited for you.

[Anonymous]

Throwing it right back at you - why did you choose to have a baby during a pandemic? Sounds like you and your family are on the same page regarding dumb decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:30 weeks pregnant and been very irritable lately so let me if I am being too sensitive. I'm not sure why everyone in my family has been begging to either drop by and look at the baby through a window or pursued me to try to stay with us the first couple weeks.

BESIDES the fact that we are in a pandemic??? Hello people? They do know the newborn isn't going to magically disappear right? It's honestly been super frustrating reminding my family I have 0 interest in seeing anyone the first couple weeks.

Np. I think you are being too hard on your family. They are excited to have a new member of the family and because of the pandemic are desperate for good news. Why is that so hard to understand? Maybe if you want to be nice you can zoom with the baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Throwing it right back at you - why did you choose to have a baby during a pandemic? Sounds like you and your family are on the same page regarding dumb decisions.

Just leave. You’re not wanted here.

OP—just say thank you and we’ll look forward to introducing you to baby once it’s safe

[Anonymous]

Just say no.

[Anonymous]

I don't know but I really wish I would have had the guts to tell my MIL to pound sand instead of acquiescing to her demands to fly in and meet the baby the minute she exited my body as it was a big red flag for all of the boundary pushing that came later.

[Anonymous]

I’m just going to go out on a limb and say that boomers are just a super selfish generation. They basically want pics to brag to their friends about. I know my grandparents didn’t act like this when their grandchildren were born.

I had a set of relatives who came to “help”. Except help was just them holding the baby when it wasn’t crying. They handed the baby back to me 20x an hour and then complained about how long breastfeeding was. I just cried in the bedroom and nursed 20 hours a day like the baby wanted. I felt so alone. They said I needed formula and that babies shouldn’t nurse that much. When they left, I was finally allowed to nurse in peace in my family room with Dh and bond. I can’t tell you how good it was to hold a happy baby. It’s very depressing to never get to hold one and visitors get all the happy moments. If anyone deserves to hold a sweet content baby it’s mom.

[Anonymous]

It's good that they're excited. You can just say "We'll let you know when we're ready for visitors, but please keep in mind we're in a pandemic too, so this may take longer than we'd all like. We are going to do what our baby's pediatrician recommends."

It's TOTALLY okay to lie and say the ped says no visitors until the baby's had its first shots. Do NOT get pressured into having people come stay when you have the baby if that's not what you want. I did, and my husband had to tell them "This is why PP didn't want you to come - you're being overbearing, second-guessing every decision she makes, and interrupting every SINGLE time she's trying to nurse or bond with our baby." And then he had to kick them out (mostly my step-mom) I wish to hell I'd just said "We're not ready for visitors yet but we'll let you know when."

[Anonymous]

That drive me crazy—and more than that; people thought it was helpful to come over, sit on the couch, and offer to hold the baby so I could empty the dishwasher, fold laundry etc.

[Anonymous]

Agree with others who have said that they are excited and want to meet your baby!

That being said, it can be absolutely overwhelming and you would be totally fine saying no. Other than a quick meet with both sets of grandparents in the hospital (pre-COVID), we told everyone that we wanted a week as a family to bond and get settled before having visitors. We even sent the grandparents from a three-hour drive away home right after the hospital. I don't know what people may have said behind my back or thought about it, but they all seemed totally understanding and willing to give us our space. You do you.