Coach texting players

[Anonymous]

Is it typical for coaches to have direct contact with players after practice and games?

My 13 year old DC’s coach asked every player for their cell number. They are to text if and why they will miss a practice. I’m a little uncomfortable with my child having to directly message their coach and would rather be the person to relay that information.

What are your thoughts? Is it appropriate?

[Anonymous]

I don't have a problem with this at age 13. If you are concerned, you can ask that any text to and from the coach include you as an additional recipient. However. the coach is trying to encourage each player to take responsibility for himself and his attendance at practice and games. It's a good life lesson and will promote maturity and responsibility.

My kids have played on teams with similar rules. Sometimes it annoys me, because I feel like I'm not in the loop. On the other hand, it also makes my child responsible to her parents to keep us informed.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it’s pretty normal.

[Anonymous]

Thanks, I understand the part about teaching responsibility, but am also concerned about inappropriate discussions. This is a new coach and due to covid our contact with him has been pretty non existent.

I like the idea of being copied on the text thread.

[Anonymous]

Ask them to consider the Remind app. Better for this purpose and designed for teachers and coaches.

[Anonymous]

I coach kids in 8th grade - some turning 13. I always contact parents, never kids. In HS this may change. But what if kids don’t have phones?
M

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, I understand the part about teaching responsibility, but am also concerned about inappropriate discussions. This is a new coach and due to covid our contact with him has been pretty non existent.

I like the idea of being copied on the text thread.

I can, on one level, understand your discomfort here, but this doesn't feel like the answer. Your child is now 13 - I think you should be working on the assumption that there are conversations your child is having (in person, via text, online) that you are not privy to. So, it's time to equip your child for this. Ask some questions: "What would you do if someone sent you an inappropriate picture?" "What do you do if someone asks you something you're not comfortable answering?" Empower your kid.

My answer would be very different if the kid was 11.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, I understand the part about teaching responsibility, but am also concerned about inappropriate discussions. This is a new coach and due to covid our contact with him has been pretty non existent.

I like the idea of being copied on the text thread.

You should want to keep these conversations someplace where you can monitor them. Objecting to texts is a little silly when there are much more private routes of communication.

[Anonymous]

That's normal in my experience.

-Mom of 2 soccer kids.

[Anonymous]

My kids do this (not with soccer, but other activities) and they put me or their dad (or both) on and make it a group chat.

Pedophiles aim for kids who aren't "seen" by their parents, among other things. Having a group text chat shows the teacher or coach that a parent is watching.

[Anonymous]

I coach 8th graders and am in a group chat (GroupMe) with them. As a PP said, it is a way for them to start being more responsible and accountable. But I do have 1 parent in the chat as well, per their request. All parents and players have my number. I want to promote increasing responsibility, within reason. It was not mandatory to join, but all did and I only started it this year.

I send out individual drill ideas to do at home, update them about practices such as practice plans/cancellations (which also goes to parents), etc. We also have a team challenge that they get daily updates for. The players like getting the information themselves and it saves the parents from wading through emails to give the players the specific drill ideas, etc.

[Anonymous]

Google grooming. A coach who has taken the proper courses also know never to text the child. Everything goes through you.

[Anonymous]

This would certainly be fine with me. I would not mind this for my 12yo (communication still goes through parents- via a team app the team uses)

I imagine it is to teach responsibility. A 13yo can certainly communicate to coach himself/herself directly.

Coaches are background checked/screened, and (maybe it is different for others?) I can’t think of any time a coach has ever been alone with my child- and I have three kids. Maybe it is different for other sports? Mine play baseball, softball, flag football, and soccer.- team sports.

[Anonymous]

Completely inappropriate, even if some people think it's the norm. It may be "normal" but wrong.

[Anonymous]

For 13yo, this seems normal. My 13yo communicates with his coaches and I stay out of it.