Coach texting players

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The helicopters are hovering.

It’s not helicoptering. It’s about accountability. Like it or not, there are bad actors out there. How many times do we have to hear about a swim coach sleeping with a team member or a child molested by someone running a program? Including another adult in communications protects the child and the program. It’s standard operating procedure for any org that doesn’t want to get sued down the road.

Two teens, and no it isn’t. Coaches want players to grow up and handle their own schedule. Good organizations screen before hiring people.

[Anonymous]

DD is 14 and her travel coaches use teamsnap to send messages to the kids. Much safer. High school coaches have specific protocols and have said they never text kids -- they send messages through other apps.

I'd be pissed if a coach was texting my daughter directly.

[Anonymous]

I also find it inappropriate and don't allow it. Adults don't need to have private communication with my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The helicopters are hovering.

It’s not helicoptering. It’s about accountability. Like it or not, there are bad actors out there. How many times do we have to hear about a swim coach sleeping with a team member or a child molested by someone running a program? Including another adult in communications protects the child and the program. It’s standard operating procedure for any org that doesn’t want to get sued down the road.

Two teens, and no it isn’t. Coaches want players to grow up and handle their own schedule. Good organizations screen before hiring people.

They can do that with other people copied on the messages. Private convos between adults and kids are not okay. Screening only gets an organization so far. Having proper rules and policies in place and actually following them are much more protective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a problem with this at age 13. If you are concerned, you can ask that any text to and from the coach include you as an additional recipient. However. the coach is trying to encourage each player to take responsibility for himself and his attendance at practice and games. It's a good life lesson and will promote maturity and responsibility.

My kids have played on teams with similar rules. Sometimes it annoys me, because I feel like I'm not in the loop. On the other hand, it also makes my child responsible to her parents to keep us informed.

Don’t you have access to your kid’s phone???

It seems infantilizing for mon to text the coach this stuff. You should encouraging your child to communicate with their coaches on their own. If you have questions/concerns, monitor their phones, but you should absolutely be transitioning to your child being responsible fir their relationships at this age. Land that helicopter!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also find it inappropriate and don't allow it. Adults don't need to have private communication with my kids.

Then your kids don’t need to be in sports... or music... or any extracurriculars. Better keep them locked up in your basement where they’re safe!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a problem with this at age 13. If you are concerned, you can ask that any text to and from the coach include you as an additional recipient. However. the coach is trying to encourage each player to take responsibility for himself and his attendance at practice and games. It's a good life lesson and will promote maturity and responsibility.

My kids have played on teams with similar rules. Sometimes it annoys me, because I feel like I'm not in the loop. On the other hand, it also makes my child responsible to her parents to keep us informed.

Don’t you have access to your kid’s phone???

It seems infantilizing for mon to text the coach this stuff. You should encouraging your child to communicate with their coaches on their own. If you have questions/concerns, monitor their phones, but you should absolutely be transitioning to your child being responsible fir their relationships at this age. Land that helicopter!

+1

[Anonymous]

As an adult who teaches kids I would never have a private 1:1 text thread or any in app convo with a kid. It is with the entire team/group/club or it is me/child/parent. You guys can call it whatever you want what that just protects ME the adult as well as your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For swimming, USA Swimming rules, require that any communication between a coach and a swimmer under the age of 18 must also include a parent. A swim coach cannot have one-on-one communication with one of their swimmers. This is true for any form of communication, text, email, etc.

Same with Boy Scouts/Cub Scouts. No private communications allowed. Another adult must be included on any texts or emails. Makes sense to me. In your scenario, op, I’d have the child include you on any messages.

All of the above! What the coach is asking goes against US Safe Sport (an organization that I believe most Olympic sports are a part of) - https://uscenterforsafesport.org/ While I get what is said about growing responsibility this can also be accomplished via more public means (GroupMe being a popular one with my children's coaches).

[Anonymous]

Arlington soccer had a coach texting inappropriately with girls on his team. He is no longer with the club and coaches never text 1-1 now. Don’t be naive, it happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also find it inappropriate and don't allow it. Adults don't need to have private communication with my kids.

Then your kids don’t need to be in sports... or music... or any extracurriculars. Better keep them locked up in your basement where they’re safe!

I don't understand why parents wouldn't be on a text thread sent by coaches. Why would a coach risk even the appearance of something inappropriate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a problem with this at age 13. If you are concerned, you can ask that any text to and from the coach include you as an additional recipient. However. the coach is trying to encourage each player to take responsibility for himself and his attendance at practice and games. It's a good life lesson and will promote maturity and responsibility.

My kids have played on teams with similar rules. Sometimes it annoys me, because I feel like I'm not in the loop. On the other hand, it also makes my child responsible to her parents to keep us informed.

Don’t you have access to your kid’s phone???

It seems infantilizing for mon to text the coach this stuff. You should encouraging your child to communicate with their coaches on their own. If you have questions/concerns, monitor their phones, but you should absolutely be transitioning to your child being responsible fir their relationships at this age. Land that helicopter!

The mom doesn’t have to be the one doing the texting, but she or some other adult should be included in the text chain. As pp’s have noted above, it protects the child and the coach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For swimming, USA Swimming rules, require that any communication between a coach and a swimmer under the age of 18 must also include a parent. A swim coach cannot have one-on-one communication with one of their swimmers. This is true for any form of communication, text, email, etc.

Actually the rule is it must include 2 adults. So, copying a parent works, but so does including two coaches. I think this is a good policy. Coaches would be wise to always include a second adult, and you could just ask your child to copy you.

[Anonymous]

US Soccer and the state organizations must comply with SafeSport, but I believe specific guidelines are left up to organizations. One-to-one communication between an athlete and person of power (coach) should not happen for the safety of all involved.

From the MSYSA (MD) -

Limiting One-on-One Interactions – Required Policies
Covered Organizations are required to establish reasonable procedures to limit one-to-one interactions between individual Youth Participants and any Adult Participant who is not their legal guardian (“Prevention Policies”). These procedures must include athlete prevention policies covering the topics below:
− One-to-One Interactions, including meetings and individual training sessions
− Massages and rubdowns
− Locker rooms, rest rooms, and changing areas
[/b]− Social media and electronic communications[b]
− Local travel
− Team travel

https://www.msysa.org/assets/69/36/athlete_and_participant_safety_policy.pdf

Coaches should not be individually texting players.

[Anonymous]

That’s a safe sport violation. Coaches are not allowed to text or their directly email minor athletes. The club should not allow it.