Why do guys cheat with women opposite from the ones they date?

[Anonymous]

Based on observation and watching dating shows I see that men cheat on women who are total opposites. For ex, a black guy dating a slim attractive white girl whose older than him but cheats with a much bigger white girl whose his age or a white guy dating a slim 95lb asian girl but cheating with a younger 160lb asian girl.

[Anonymous]

They want something different. Variety is the spice of life!

[Anonymous]

My ex cheated with a short, dumpy, loser redhead. No job. Dumb and bitchy.

They cheat with people that are willing to accept scraps and/or other cheaters. Decent people don’t cheat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Based on observation and watching dating shows I see that men cheat on women who are total opposites. For ex, a black guy dating a slim attractive white girl whose older than him but cheats with a much bigger white girl whose his age or a white guy dating a slim 95lb asian girl but cheating with a younger 160lb asian girl.

Your examples aren’t opposites. Both are just heavier versions of the girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Based on observation and watching dating shows I see that men cheat on women who are total opposites. For ex, a black guy dating a slim attractive white girl whose older than him but cheats with a much bigger white girl whose his age or a white guy dating a slim 95lb asian girl but cheating with a younger 160lb asian girl.

Your examples aren’t opposites. Both are just heavier versions of the girlfriend.

Forgot to add, they didn't have the same educational background, were younger, and had dead end jobs.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PP that suggested “low hanging fruit” is just easier to reach. Why aren’t they reaching for the stars with an AP? Same reason you a fitness instructor sneaks into a McDonald’s/Wendy’s/parking lot on a whim instead of steaming their wild caught salmon and organic spinach at home. They crave something different, maybe even unhealthy. It is literally fast food. Appetizing enough to satisfy your temporary hunger, sometimes they just crave something different and they will take what is easiest. Someone with a low self-esteem (warranted or not) seems an easy target.

By the way, I don’t think all people are malicious and deceptive - but I do think that cheaters are very selfish and the deception required to cheat would lead and follow with a zillion other compromised and poor decisions.

Also, everyone doesn’t cheat with someone that is worse off. Well, aside from the obvious flaw that they are both cheating. But two selfish cheaters could easily circumvent accountability to create a partial narrative that doesn’t accept any pain they may have created in their choices.

[Anonymous]

This is a common myth of DCUM. Whatever makes you feel better.

[Anonymous]

I was a guys side piece for years . I have low self esteem. I gave him whatever/ whenever he wanted it. It was easy for him. I was heavier then his wife. Once I lost about 40 pounds over the years he lost interest. Said he liked the cushion and didn’t like just bones. Said he could get just bones at home but wanted something different. He said my cushion felt nice. Now that I’m bonier he isn’t as interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a guys side piece for years . I have low self esteem. I gave him whatever/ whenever he wanted it. It was easy for him. I was heavier then his wife. Once I lost about 40 pounds over the years he lost interest. Said he liked the cushion and didn’t like just bones. Said he could get just bones at home but wanted something different. He said my cushion felt nice. Now that I’m bonier he isn’t as interested.

A man I am friends with (platonic and unmarried) expressed a very similar sentiment. He said while the visual appeal wasn’t as attractive, it physically felt better, the softness. I’m guessing it wasn’t just your weight loss that turned him off but maybe you working to repair your self esteem meant more work for him that he didn’t want to risk.

[Anonymous]

Novelty? Cheats with girls for now (sex) vs. dates girls for later (marriage)? Secretly attracted to a body type or feature he thinks is socially unacceptable? Targets someone he thinks has low self-esteem and will be an easy lay? A combo of all of these, consciously or unconsciously?

[Anonymous]

The men that I know that cheated and ended up leaving their wives for the AP usually did so with a “better” version of the wife. All of them were more successful professionally and younger. But they are those that left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a guys side piece for years . I have low self esteem. I gave him whatever/ whenever he wanted it. It was easy for him. I was heavier then his wife. Once I lost about 40 pounds over the years he lost interest. Said he liked the cushion and didn’t like just bones. Said he could get just bones at home but wanted something different. He said my cushion felt nice. Now that I’m bonier he isn’t as interested.

One of the most popular categories for porn is for bbw. So many men in DC Mary thin women but when Craigslist was a thing I'd see ads all the time looking for BBWs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The men that I know that cheated and ended up leaving their wives for the AP usually did so with a “better” version of the wife. All of them were more successful professionally and younger. But they are those that left.

Since when is this important to a man in love?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a guys side piece for years . I have low self esteem. I gave him whatever/ whenever he wanted it. It was easy for him. I was heavier then his wife. Once I lost about 40 pounds over the years he lost interest. Said he liked the cushion and didn’t like just bones. Said he could get just bones at home but wanted something different. He said my cushion felt nice. Now that I’m bonier he isn’t as interested.

One of the most popular categories for porn is for bbw. So many men in DC Mary thin women but when Craigslist was a thing I'd see ads all the time looking for BBWs

Interesting. I have seen an uptick in thin guys of all races dating bbws out in the open. So are these men just pervy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Based on observation and watching dating shows I see that men cheat on women who are total opposites. For ex, a black guy dating a slim attractive white girl whose older than him but cheats with a much bigger white girl whose his age or a white guy dating a slim 95lb asian girl but cheating with a younger 160lb asian girl.

OP, is this you wondering why your ex is with a fat woman again?