Same Age Cousins

[Anonymous]

I know I’m probably being silly for this but... My sister and I each had a daughter two weeks apart (not planned). We were both so excited for them to go through all the milestones together, be close, grow up together, etc. They are both summer birthdays (our cutoff is 8/31) and both opted to start them in kindergarten this year (different schools, but both in person private because of Covid and work needs).

My DD has been thriving in kindergarten, even more than we’d hoped. Her teachers confirmed we made the right decision sending her (and her private K is very academically rigorous). Her daughter is not as “advanced” (put in quotes because I don’t take kindergarten that seriously) as mine in terms of reading and math, but I can definitely tell she’s bright. She is a bit emotionally immature, but nothing concerning. I guess she scored slightly below average on an assessment test. Now my sister wants to have her repeat kindergarten. I’m just mourning a little bit that now they won’t be going through a lot of the milestones at the same time, which would’ve been so special to them.

I’m out of line for feeling this way, correct? I know it’s not appropriate to try to talk her out of her decision... she’s not my child, but I feel pretty strongly against having a child repeat a grade (especially kindergarten when they are developing so rapidly).

[Anonymous]

Are they in the same kindergarten? If not, who cares.... it’s not like they’d be doing homework together anyway. They can still play together and be friends...

[Anonymous]

Wow. You sound petty, judgmental, and competitive. I'm so glad I have a loving, accepting sister who would never dream of comparing and judging our kids.

[Anonymous]

It might actually make their relationship a lot stronger since they won't be in competition with each other or resent the other one getting attention for school related milestones.

Other milestones, things like losing teeth, learning to ride bikes, etc you can still have them do together since they are age related not grade related.

[Anonymous]

This is none of your business and has nothing to do for you. I can’t believe you would even CONSIDER messing up a child’s education so your kid can be in the same grade.

For whatever it’s worth, my closest cousin is a year younger than me, not the one Who was in the same grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. You sound petty, judgmental, and competitive. I'm so glad I have a loving, accepting sister who would never dream of comparing and judging our kids.

I noticed that, too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m probably being silly for this but... My sister and I each had a daughter two weeks apart (not planned). We were both so excited for them to go through all the milestones together, be close, grow up together, etc. They are both summer birthdays (our cutoff is 8/31) and both opted to start them in kindergarten this year (different schools, but both in person private because of Covid and work needs).

My DD has been thriving in kindergarten, even more than we’d hoped. Her teachers confirmed we made the right decision sending her (and her private K is very academically rigorous). Her daughter is not as “advanced” (put in quotes because I don’t take kindergarten that seriously) as mine in terms of reading and math, but I can definitely tell she’s bright. She is a bit emotionally immature, but nothing concerning. I guess she scored slightly below average on an assessment test. Now my sister wants to have her repeat kindergarten. I’m just mourning a little bit that now they won’t be going through a lot of the milestones at the same time, which would’ve been so special to them.

I’m out of line for feeling this way, correct? I know it’s not appropriate to try to talk her out of her decision... she’s not my child, but I feel pretty strongly against having a child repeat a grade (especially kindergarten when they are developing so rapidly).

Children have different strengths and challenges and they all develop differently. My guess is that your niece will show some strengths that your daughter doesn't have and she'll hit other milestones before your child. It all balances out. Just support them.

[Anonymous]

It's better for her daughter to repeat K. You sound so judgemental and competitive that you would probably make it miserable for them always comparing their "milestones". This is a blessing for your niece. Ugh your post is so off putting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m probably being silly for this but... My sister and I each had a daughter two weeks apart (not planned). We were both so excited for them to go through all the milestones together, be close, grow up together, etc. They are both summer birthdays (our cutoff is 8/31) and both opted to start them in kindergarten this year (different schools, but both in person private because of Covid and work needs).

My DD has been thriving in kindergarten, even more than we’d hoped. Her teachers confirmed we made the right decision sending her (and her private K is very academically rigorous). Her daughter is not as “advanced” (put in quotes because I don’t take kindergarten that seriously) as mine in terms of reading and math, but I can definitely tell she’s bright. She is a bit emotionally immature, but nothing concerning. I guess she scored slightly below average on an assessment test. Now my sister wants to have her repeat kindergarten. I’m just mourning a little bit that now they won’t be going through a lot of the milestones at the same time, which would’ve been so special to them.

I’m out of line for feeling this way, correct? I know it’s not appropriate to try to talk her out of her decision... she’s not my child, but I feel pretty strongly against having a child repeat a grade (especially kindergarten when they are developing so rapidly).

Children have different strengths and challenges and they all develop differently. My guess is that your niece will show some strengths that your daughter doesn't have and she'll hit other milestones before your child. It all balances out. Just support them.

Lol OP will probably have a heart attack if her niece is ever better than her daughter in something.

[Anonymous]

I feel so sorry for your niece, your sister, and your daughter.

[Anonymous]

My best friend growing up repeated Kindergarten. She now leads a global, multi-million project on food security for NASA. She won a NASA early career prize. But yeah, I think I could write my letters better than she could in 1986.

Grow up, OP.

[Anonymous]

Your kids won't be close if you continue with this ridiculous superiority and judgemental stuff. Your sister will protect her daughter from constantly being compared to yours. Don't ruin their friendship because you want to "win" the competition of which kid is more advanced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel so sorry for your niece, your sister, and your daughter.

I feel sorry for OP's daughter, it must be hell having a mother like that. The niece definitely won the mom competition, she has a mother who puts her needs above petty rivalry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so sorry for your niece, your sister, and your daughter.

I feel sorry for OP's daughter, it must be hell having a mother like that. The niece definitely won the mom competition, she has a mother who puts her needs above petty rivalry.

I feel bad in the sense that she will probably lose out on being close with her cousin because her mom will protect her from crazy OP.

[Anonymous]

Geez, I’d want my daughter out of your daughter’s grade, too, with all your judging and comparing.