Same Age Cousins

[Anonymous]

OP it’s you, you suck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel for you OP! My daughter was born a few months before her cousin and it's hard not to make comparisons. But it's really hard to tell how kids will progress at the tender age of 5, so I wouldn't put too much stock into the comparisons.

Your sister is making a good decision for her daughter, so please support her. I'm surprised that somewhere your sister holding her daughter back a year isn't making you reconsider your decision to put your daughter into school early. I would definitely question my decision if I were in your place. Also, as other posters have noted, your kids may actually be better friends because they are not in the same grade. I was very good friends with a cousin who was a grade above me and never even thought to compare myself to her. It's actually crazy for me to think about now.

I have a summer birthday and repeated kindergarten, because I could barely read and my parents were worried. My husband also has a summer birthday and was held back in Pre-K, because he didn't understand analogies (can you tell he went to NCRC?). I went to Amherst and he went to Harvard. We probably would have been fine going early, but I can say unequivocally that repeating/being the oldest in our grades didn't hurt.

I wonder how many times it needs to be said on this thread that OP didn’t send her child early ... she was sent on time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m probably being silly for this but... My sister and I each had a daughter two weeks apart (not planned). We were both so excited for them to go through all the milestones together, be close, grow up together, etc. They are both summer birthdays (our cutoff is 8/31) and both opted to start them in kindergarten this year (different schools, but both in person private because of Covid and work needs).

My DD has been thriving in kindergarten, even more than we’d hoped. Her teachers confirmed we made the right decision sending her (and her private K is very academically rigorous). Her daughter is not as “advanced” (put in quotes because I don’t take kindergarten that seriously) as mine in terms of reading and math, but I can definitely tell she’s bright. She is a bit emotionally immature, but nothing concerning. I guess she scored slightly below average on an assessment test. Now my sister wants to have her repeat kindergarten. I’m just mourning a little bit that now they won’t be going through a lot of the milestones at the same time, which would’ve been so special to them.

I’m out of line for feeling this way, correct? I know it’s not appropriate to try to talk her out of her decision... she’s not my child, but I feel pretty strongly against having a child repeat a grade (especially kindergarten when they are developing so rapidly).

This is 100% up to your sister and her family, not you. Your feelings on the matter are completely irrelevant. Rather than focusing on your own things you think you will be missing out on, have some freaking compassion for your sister and niece. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. You sound petty, judgmental, and competitive. I'm so glad I have a loving, accepting sister who would never dream of comparing and judging our kids.

Not at all! I think her daughter is so bright and I’m actually just shocked they want to have her repeat. From a semi-outsider looking in, I was just surprised. Apologies if my post read differently. I personally just don’t put too much stock in a kindergarten assessment test.

I’m just a bit sad they won’t be in the same grade now (because my daughter loves how close they are in age). Some of you all are ruthless.

Your realize your niece won't magically become a year younger if she repeats K, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best friends growing up were all a grade ahead of me. Who cares....??????

My best friend is a grade ahead of me. My daughter's best friend is a grade ahead of her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It might actually make their relationship a lot stronger since they won't be in competition with each other or resent the other one getting attention for school related milestones.

Other milestones, things like losing teeth, learning to ride bikes, etc you can still have them do together since they are age related not grade related.

+1. You won't have to worry about competing graduation ceremonies or other such events.

[Anonymous]

A lot of kids I know that were held back were held back because of their emotional immaturity as they weren't really ready, so it sounds like it will be a good thing considering you said she is a little emotionally immature. No doubt it's something the school thinks is right as well.

Plus your sister got a taste of what the rest of school will be like if they stay the same and has opted out of that nonsense.