Same Age Cousins

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. You sound petty, judgmental, and competitive. I'm so glad I have a loving, accepting sister who would never dream of comparing and judging our kids.

Not at all! I think her daughter is so bright and I’m actually just shocked they want to have her repeat. From a semi-outsider looking in, I was just surprised. Apologies if my post read differently. I personally just don’t put too much stock in a kindergarten assessment test.

I’m just a bit sad they won’t be in the same grade now (because my daughter loves how close they are in age). Some of you all are ruthless.

[Anonymous]

Op you are well on your way to destroying your relationship with your sister. How pathetic

[Anonymous]

My daughter and my niece are only a few months apart but they are in different grades because they fell on opposite sides of the school start date. They are the best of friends and share so much in common. So they won’t go to prom or graduation at the same time, who cares. What matters is they are in high school now and with no prompting from parents were on FaceTime for over and hour yesterday laughing themselves silly.

Anyway you shouldn’t put so much pressure on the relationship. They could end up having very different personalities and interests and have little in common even if in the same grade. Support your sister and what is best for her family and the rest will take care of itself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. You sound petty, judgmental, and competitive. I'm so glad I have a loving, accepting sister who would never dream of comparing and judging our kids.

Not at all! I think her daughter is so bright and I’m actually just shocked they want to have her repeat. From a semi-outsider looking in, I was just surprised. Apologies if my post read differently. I personally just don’t put too much stock in a kindergarten assessment test.

I’m just a bit sad they won’t be in the same grade now (because my daughter loves how close they are in age). Some of you all are ruthless.

Op we all see right through you. You're obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. You sound petty, judgmental, and competitive. I'm so glad I have a loving, accepting sister who would never dream of comparing and judging our kids.

Not at all! I think her daughter is so bright and I’m actually just shocked they want to have her repeat. From a semi-outsider looking in, I was just surprised. Apologies if my post read differently. I personally just don’t put too much stock in a kindergarten assessment test.

I’m just a bit sad they won’t be in the same grade now (because my daughter loves how close they are in age). Some of you all are ruthless.

How about it’s none of your business? Stay in your lane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. You sound petty, judgmental, and competitive. I'm so glad I have a loving, accepting sister who would never dream of comparing and judging our kids.

Not at all! I think her daughter is so bright and I’m actually just shocked they want to have her repeat. From a semi-outsider looking in, I was just surprised. Apologies if my post read differently. I personally just don’t put too much stock in a kindergarten assessment test.

I’m just a bit sad they won’t be in the same grade now (because my daughter loves how close they are in age). Some of you all are ruthless.

1. Being held back has nothing to do with how bright a child is.


2. This decision has nothing to do with you and your daughter. Your opinion literally does not matter here.

3. You need an attitude adjustment quickly or you are going to ruin your relationship with your sister and any chance your daughters have of being friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m probably being silly for this but... My sister and I each had a daughter two weeks apart (not planned). We were both so excited for them to go through all the milestones together, be close, grow up together, etc. They are both summer birthdays (our cutoff is 8/31) and both opted to start them in kindergarten this year (different schools, but both in person private because of Covid and work needs).

My DD has been thriving in kindergarten, even more than we’d hoped. Her teachers confirmed we made the right decision sending her (and her private K is very academically rigorous). Her daughter is not as “advanced” (put in quotes because I don’t take kindergarten that seriously) as mine in terms of reading and math, but I can definitely tell she’s bright. She is a bit emotionally immature, but nothing concerning. I guess she scored slightly below average on an assessment test. Now my sister wants to have her repeat kindergarten. I’m just mourning a little bit that now they won’t be going through a lot of the milestones at the same time, which would’ve been so special to them.

I’m out of line for feeling this way, correct? I know it’s not appropriate to try to talk her out of her decision... she’s not my child, but I feel pretty strongly against having a child repeat a grade (especially kindergarten when they are developing so rapidly).

Children have different strengths and challenges and they all develop differently. My guess is that your niece will show some strengths that your daughter doesn't have and she'll hit other milestones before your child. It all balances out. Just support them.

Thank you for a reasonable response. I agree, they definitely show different strengths. I definitely will support them! All I’ve said thus far is “I wouldn’t put too much stock in an assessment, she seems so smart and sociable. It’ll be a bit sad for them to not be in the same grade now.” And left it at that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. You sound petty, judgmental, and competitive. I'm so glad I have a loving, accepting sister who would never dream of comparing and judging our kids.

Not at all! I think her daughter is so bright and I’m actually just shocked they want to have her repeat. From a semi-outsider looking in, I was just surprised. Apologies if my post read differently. I personally just don’t put too much stock in a kindergarten assessment test.

I’m just a bit sad they won’t be in the same grade now (because my daughter loves how close they are in age). Some of you all are ruthless.

LOL. Lets see...you pointed out your daughter is more advanced, her kid is emotionally immature, and her kid scored below average. But yes....its because we read your post differently. All you had to say was "my sister is thinking of having her daughter repeat K and I'm sad that means they won't be in the same grade together". You didn't need to point out all the ways she was below your DD. No one believes the "lol I don't put much stock into K" BS. Wake up and realize how you come across because you will ruin your relationship with you sister over all of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I’m probably being silly for this but... My sister and I each had a daughter two weeks apart (not planned). We were both so excited for them to go through all the milestones together, be close, grow up together, etc. They are both summer birthdays (our cutoff is 8/31) and both opted to start them in kindergarten this year (different schools, but both in person private because of Covid and work needs).

My DD has been thriving in kindergarten, even more than we’d hoped. Her teachers confirmed we made the right decision sending her (and her private K is very academically rigorous). Her daughter is not as “advanced” (put in quotes because I don’t take kindergarten that seriously) as mine in terms of reading and math, but I can definitely tell she’s bright. She is a bit emotionally immature, but nothing concerning. I guess she scored slightly below average on an assessment test. Now my sister wants to have her repeat kindergarten. I’m just mourning a little bit that now they won’t be going through a lot of the milestones at the same time, which would’ve been so special to them.

I’m out of line for feeling this way, correct? I know it’s not appropriate to try to talk her out of her decision... she’s not my child, but I feel pretty strongly against having a child repeat a grade (especially kindergarten when they are developing so rapidly).

Children have different strengths and challenges and they all develop differently. My guess is that your niece will show some strengths that your daughter doesn't have and she'll hit other milestones before your child. It all balances out. Just support them.

Thank you for a reasonable response. I agree, they definitely show different strengths. I definitely will support them! All I’ve said thus far is “I wouldn’t put too much stock in an assessment, she seems so smart and sociable. It’ll be a bit sad for them to not be in the same grade now.” And left it at that.

What’s “a bit sad” is how you somehow think this is any of your business. Grow the eff up.

[Anonymous]

The fact that OP blows off anyone who tells her her behavior is wrong is SO telling.

[Anonymous]

My sister has a kid who is a month older than mine. I’d be thrilled if the kids were in different grades so they couldn’t be so directly compared by my competitive sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter and my niece are only a few months apart but they are in different grades because they fell on opposite sides of the school start date. They are the best of friends and share so much in common. So they won’t go to prom or graduation at the same time, who cares. What matters is they are in high school now and with no prompting from parents were on FaceTime for over and hour yesterday laughing themselves silly.

Anyway you shouldn’t put so much pressure on the relationship. They could end up having very different personalities and interests and have little in common even if in the same grade. Support your sister and what is best for her family and the rest will take care of itself.

Thanks, I think this is what I needed to hear! I think if we’d started in different grades, it would’ve been easier. We both struggled a lot with whether we should start them (and then throw covid in there). I just want them to stay close growing up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter and my niece are only a few months apart but they are in different grades because they fell on opposite sides of the school start date. They are the best of friends and share so much in common. So they won’t go to prom or graduation at the same time, who cares. What matters is they are in high school now and with no prompting from parents were on FaceTime for over and hour yesterday laughing themselves silly.

Anyway you shouldn’t put so much pressure on the relationship. They could end up having very different personalities and interests and have little in common even if in the same grade. Support your sister and what is best for her family and the rest will take care of itself.

Thanks, I think this is what I needed to hear! I think if we’d started in different grades, it would’ve been easier. We both struggled a lot with whether we should start them (and then throw covid in there). I just want them to stay close growing up!

Except, you know, they might not be close. You can’t force them to be best friends. Their personalities may or may not meld. Stop trying to manipulate your daughter and your niece, OP. Cousins they will always be. Close is up to them....

[Anonymous]

Dude... relax

You are a mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best friend growing up repeated Kindergarten. She now leads a global, multi-million project on food security for NASA. She won a NASA early career prize. But yeah, I think I could write my letters better than she could in 1986.

Grow up, OP.

This made me laugh out loud. This is a perfect perspective for OP