Are your kids allowed in your room?

[Anonymous]

i was talking to a friend today whose kids aren't allowed in their room. Growing up, we always knocked if the door was closed, but were definitely allowed in my parents room.

I'm curious how many people still have this rule, and what the rationale is.

[Anonymous]

yes, our door is also physically open at all times. I get claustrophobic with the door shut. We have one 8yo DD and are a 2 Mom family.

[Anonymous]

If the door is open and we're in there, sure. If the door is closed, they have to knock and wait for permission.

If we're not in there they have to ask and say why. "Can I go in your room to borrow the calculator?"

[Anonymous]

To each his own, but that seems bizarre. My kids stop in our room all the time to chat/hang out.

[Anonymous]

My mom did not allow us in her room and it really bugged her that I let my kids in my room. It always seemed like such a control freak thing. My kids number 1 complaint when she babysat them was that she forbid them from going to my room.

[Anonymous]

If I thought I could kick them out I would- nothing like waking up freezing with a kid in the bed wrapped in all of the covers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the door is open and we're in there, sure. If the door is closed, they have to knock and wait for permission.

If we're not in there they have to ask and say why. "Can I go in your room to borrow the calculator?"

This is us too. I don't want my kids to have free reign of my room. I also don't want them to have free reign of each other's rooms, though. I think it's nice that everyone in our family has space for privacy.

[Anonymous]

Yes, our kid is allowed in our room almost whenever she wants. Occasionally I will go in there for alone time or to work, in which case I'll let the family know I need to be alone for a bit and shut the door. In that case, if she really needed me, she'd knock.

I don't get having hard rules like "kids not allowed in my room". I think it's in place of teaching children proper communication, boundaries, and emotional control. I view part of my job as a parent to teach my kid when it's appropriate to approach someone and when you should be more thoughtful, as well as when a space is open to you and when you might need to ask permission. In life, there are rarely clear rules about this stuff -- you have to learn to read social cues and context.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the door is open and we're in there, sure. If the door is closed, they have to knock and wait for permission.

If we're not in there they have to ask and say why. "Can I go in your room to borrow the calculator?"

+1

[Anonymous]

He is, but only allowed on my side of the bed, because DH doesn’t like our 4 year old having his face or feet or hands on his blanket or pillow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To each his own, but that seems bizarre. My kids stop in our room all the time to chat/hang out.

This.

[Anonymous]

?

My kids are always allowed in all the rooms.

[Anonymous]

Yes (I have 3 boys), but, as they have gotten older and rougher, I have set more boundaries. They cannot take our covers, for example, to make forts. They cannot remove our pillows from our bed. They cannot wrestle on our bed, and they can no longer play in our room because it ends in wrestling every single time. They can come and chat, they can get something out of there that they need, they can use our bathroom, and they can curl up in our bed, if we are in it or not.

[Anonymous]

My 3 kids not only come in our room, they sleep in and out of our bed.

I had a friend who would lock her bedroom door at night. She would tell me how her kids would cry and fall asleep by her bedroom door. I thought that was pretty cruel. She also works long hours.

[Anonymous]

Yes! We snuggle as a family every night on the big bed. They know to knock before entering. We have never had problems with them coming and moving or taking stuff so why not?