Are your kids allowed in your room?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of us spend much time in our bedrooms, so I guess this is a non issue. Yes, he is allowed in. But, we're almost never in there except to sleep. So, he has no reason to go in. Same for his bedroom honestly.

This is us as well. We’ve designed our home and routines so that we’re almost never in our bedrooms except for sleeping or reading immediately before nap.

[Anonymous]

My kids are allowed in all rooms in our home. As was I in my childhood home.

How bizarre.

[Anonymous]

I work out of our master bedroom, so no, during the day it's not open door policy. We also took pains to have DC sleep in his own room since infancy, so unless there is something unusual or dramatic, at night he stays in his room. other than this I am ok with him coming to master bedroom, but it's an adult space and I like having a bit of an oasis that's not invaded any given second.

[Anonymous]

I wish I could kick them out, but I can’t. They come in to chat, gossip, cry, tell me funny things, use my bathroom, complain, do cartwheels, and bounce on my yoga ball. I cannot get rid of my darlings. They are relentlessly attached.

[Anonymous]

My kids feel very at-home in our room and I wish they didn’t. I would never go lounge on their beds, for instance, but they think it’s fine to do on mine. I didn’t mind when they were little but it feels entitled/intrusive with teens. It’s like we parents have no private space and everything is theirs. The pandemic isn’t helping.

[Anonymous]

They're allowed in when we are in there, but not when we are not in there unless they ask.

[Anonymous]

I have toddlers who trash my room (they don’t mean to but they bring toys and play there). So they aren’t allowed in our room unless we’re there. Maybe that’s what she means?

[Anonymous]

It's pretty much off-limits. It's not their space to go lounge or play in whenever they please. There are exceptions though for nightmares or occasional family cuddles.

[Anonymous]

Of course!
My 3 year is attached to my hip, and she loves to sleep in our bed. I can't imagine not allowing her in our bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Sleep, no, as we don't have a big enough bed/small room/house. Any other time, absolutely. If needed, a parent will go into the child's room for sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 3 kids not only come in our room, they sleep in and out of our bed.

I had a friend who would lock her bedroom door at night. She would tell me how her kids would cry and fall asleep by her bedroom door. I thought that was pretty cruel. She also works long hours.

Omg! This brought back memories. I would go in my parents bed if I was scared or had a nightmare. Then I guess they decided to train me out of that so they locked the door. And I would cry and bang on door and eventually fall asleep next to the door. Now I have a 4 year old and I would never, ever leave him to cry like that outside my door.

My parents were weird in other ways, but I was generally allowed in their room, but definitely knew better than to mess it up -- like my 4yo would think he could take my pillows/blankets elsewhere but I would never have done.

My kid has all access to our bedroom, and I have to make some boundaries, such as can't bring in food, can't go in drawers, erc

[Anonymous]

We all roam aroi d and even sleep in each other's beds and the guest room too, according to what's going on in the house. DS has the absolute comfiest bed so that's everyone's favorite napping destination. We have a king bed so that's a magnet for lounging or jumping. And the guest room is away from it all and cooler so when someone is seriously sleep deprived or sick, that's where they go to get some peace.

[Anonymous]

My kids are allowed in if we are in there.

My parents bedroom was off limits. If we needed something at night we stood at the door and called them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 3 kids not only come in our room, they sleep in and out of our bed.

I had a friend who would lock her bedroom door at night. She would tell me how her kids would cry and fall asleep by her bedroom door. I thought that was pretty cruel. She also works long hours.

That's SO sad. It almost made me tear up, and I"m really not even the type for that. We don't generally let our dog upstairs in the house (he's a 110 lb Rottie, nobody needs that much fur, slobber and energy up there...) but when he wasn't feeling well and came upstairs whining, I let him sleep next to me on a bean bag. I can't imagine not letting my kids in!

I think she was just desperate for sleep and the kids were desperate for attention and affection. If you need sleep to be safe, it sucks but I would make sure everyone knew they needed to respect my sleep time.

I had a job that involved lots of driving in mountains with kids but the directors never gave us more than 8h of "off" time-for anything, including food and sleep, and only 4 days off the entire summer so I would end up spending 10-15min chatting so they knew I adored them (it's true and still do-we're still in touch) before kicking them off of my bed. It was very dangerous because they never hired enough people to rotate drivers so someone was well-rested.

PLEASE ask your camps about this. They'll probably lie to you but they are more likely to have better policies if they know people are asking about the number of drivers, their qualifications and thinking about those things. This was an extremely expensive NE camp and still happened fairly recently that had/has zero excuses for that policy if they charge $12k base (probably more now) per child for the summer. It certainly isn't going to the staff.
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I was reprimanded and threatened when I pointed out that another staff member had started to fall asleep at the wheel and they needed to either rotate more staff on or give us more time off just to rest to be safe on the road. Four staff cannot run trips for ~300 children when they return at 11p-2a and need to be on the road again at 6-7a the following day. There isn't even signal for GPS so the second person has to use a paper map/instructions so they can't sleep in the vehicle either. I was absolutely terrified of getting in an accident.

I also found out later that the male staff were paid anywhere from 1.5-2x more for the same positions even if they had less experience and fewer qualifications. It was actually a male staff member who confronted the directors about this. Everyone who knew or was suspected to know was fired or not asked back the following season.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids feel very at-home in our room and I wish they didn’t. I would never go lounge on their beds, for instance, but they think it’s fine to do on mine. I didn’t mind when they were little but it feels entitled/intrusive with teens. It’s like we parents have no private space and everything is theirs. The pandemic isn’t helping.

Yup! Same