Are your kids allowed in your room?

[Anonymous]

My kids will sometimes go into our room to lie and read on our bed. I remember loving to do the same, because I could stretch out on my parents' bed across the bed or on a diagonal. We do have the expectations of knocking if the door is closed and that they don't open nighstands/closet/dresser drawers -- in our house or any house, really.

[Anonymous]

Knocking was not a thing in my family growing up. OTOH, my dad worked a rotating shift and one afternoon I wandered in there to a flurry of sheets. Didn't know what it was (guessing I was 8 or so and honestly believed that God did something like sprinkle magic dust on couples during the wedding ceremony to allow babies to happen) yet I did somehow know it was time to disappear very, very quickly.

[Anonymous]

My kid wants nothing to do with our room unless we are in it. If the door is open at bedtime he will come in after a shower to snuggle or talk or delay his own bedtime. He used to do this in the morning too, but now he just gets up and does his thing. He's 11. We leave the door open but close it for....you know.....stuff (usually late at night). Then we open it again.

If I had to actually tell my child not to steal my blankets and pillows to build forts/play with I'd be pretty concerned about boundary issues. But our kid isn't rowdy.

[Anonymous]

I never went in my parents’ room growing up. My kids are always in my room. If the door is open, they come in and talk to us. Sometimes we will read bedtime stories to both at once in the “big” bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 3 kids not only come in our room, they sleep in and out of our bed.

I had a friend who would lock her bedroom door at night. She would tell me how her kids would cry and fall asleep by her bedroom door. I thought that was pretty cruel. She also works long hours.

That's SO sad. It almost made me tear up, and I"m really not even the type for that. We don't generally let our dog upstairs in the house (he's a 110 lb Rottie, nobody needs that much fur, slobber and energy up there...) but when he wasn't feeling well and came upstairs whining, I let him sleep next to me on a bean bag. I can't imagine not letting my kids in!

[Anonymous]

of course my kids are allowed in our room! so weird. My kids knock if the door is closed and have for years, they are now 13 and 10, but they know they can always go in my room. They also know to ask before taking anything form my closet or looking around in my things. One can teach kids to respect privacy without being harsh.
If they have firearms in their closet or something they should get locked and proper storage immediately.

[Anonymous]

We don't let our kids sleep in our bed (unless someone is really ill), but we make sure that we are accessible. Certainly we have boundaries regarding privacy and modesty, but they are little kids (elementary) and need to have access to us if they need support/comfort. I think that this is critically important in the midst of the pandemic where they have had so many routines changed and have been exposed to frightening issues (COVID, protests, racism). Now more than ever, they need access and reassurance of our unconditional love and support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 3 kids not only come in our room, they sleep in and out of our bed.

I had a friend who would lock her bedroom door at night. She would tell me how her kids would cry and fall asleep by her bedroom door. I thought that was pretty cruel. She also works long hours.

Oh that makes me so sad.

[Anonymous]

My kids practically live in my room. I think they spend more time in my room than they do in their own rooms. They sleep in their own rooms.

[Anonymous]

When the kids werwe little we kept the doors closed. It was not child proofed. Then...its not like they were not allowed but there was also nothing too enticing for them in there. Now it is only if they need something after we are in bed...almost never.

[Anonymous]

None of us spend much time in our bedrooms, so I guess this is a non issue. Yes, he is allowed in. But, we're almost never in there except to sleep. So, he has no reason to go in. Same for his bedroom honestly.

[Anonymous]

Of course.

Sometimes they sleep in our bed too.

The “no kids in our room” shit is the way I grew up and is odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of us spend much time in our bedrooms, so I guess this is a non issue. Yes, he is allowed in. But, we're almost never in there except to sleep. So, he has no reason to go in. Same for his bedroom honestly.

This is the situation at our house, too. At our house, bedrooms are for sleeping or reading quietly. He wouldn’t play in his room and wouldn’t think to play in ours. But, that said, my kid is welcome to go anywhere in the house. If a door was closed, he’d knock. Just like we do if his door is closed (he’s 8).

[Anonymous]

No

I was allowed in my parents' room. DH grew up in a house where the parents' room was strictly off limits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No

I was allowed in my parents' room. DH grew up in a house where the parents' room was strictly off limits.

To clarify - kids are allowed at night if they have nightmares etc. I just mean they aren't allowed to lounge in there, watch tv and read etc. (We have a sitting area with fireplace.). It's not their hang out zone.