What happens to my kids if DH and I are hospitalized at the same time?

[Anonymous]

We moved to a new city in February and have no friends here.

We do have some local family, but they Don’t help us and couldn’t physically handle our children (2 boys, ages 1.5 and 3.5). They aren’t safe, reliable, competent people.

We have other family that could maybe handle them, but they live very far away.

Would they go to foster care then? Would that be terrible? We have a nanny, maybe our kids could go to her house but it would be wildly expensive for anything more than a week or two.

[Anonymous]

Call in family, friends, and acquaintances. If none can do it, temporary foster care.

[Anonymous]

That was my nightmare when I first heard about covid and I had planned to beg my place of worship for help. You want to avoid foster care as far as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call in family, friends, and acquaintances. If none can do it, temporary foster care.

This, sadly.

[Anonymous]

Isn't that something you figure out the first day they are born?

[Anonymous]

Line up family to be ready or yes, they go to foster care.

[Anonymous]

Until you make friends, would you ask your nanny if she would take them if necessary? I mean, it probably won't happen, but you might as well think about it.

Eventually, you'll make friends (I mean, when Covid restrictions are over and you can actually MEET people!) and that won't be necessary.

Also, in an emergency, perhaps your relatives could do it? I mean, not as a vacation, but should push come to shove, is it possible they could do it? Not to perfection, there would be more tv and pizza than block building and vegetables, but could they get it done? IT NOT, then ask your nanny.

[Anonymous]

Make a plan with your nanny and your far away family or friends (assuming still in the US far away). If you both go to the hospital, she calls your family member. Either your family member flies out and stays with the kids, or gets the kids and takes them to their home.

That said, it's very unlikely that this will happen. But making a plan will help you relax.

[Anonymous]

Nanny until you are able to fly in family. Eventually you will find friends.

Foster care isn't the worst thing in the world. I have some friends and coworkers who are foster parents. Not all are horror stories. However, there is always a risk and your kids will already be stressed out not having both of you so putting them with people they don't know can be traumatic.

[Anonymous]

Could your relatives do it with the nanny’s help?
Or, Fly the family that is far away to come in.

[Anonymous]

We have several families that I know would take our kids in in case of an emergency, and either of our moms could fly here in a pinch.

This has actually sort of happened (my DH was on his deathbed at one point a few years ago), and our kids stayed with friends until my mom could fly in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have several families that I know would take our kids in in case of an emergency, and either of our moms could fly here in a pinch.

This has actually sort of happened (my DH was on his deathbed at one point a few years ago), and our kids stayed with friends until my mom could fly in.

I guess I didn't answer your question - you need someone who can do the immediate care (your nanny?) and the someone who could care for them long term (your family with the nanny's help, perhaps).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have several families that I know would take our kids in in case of an emergency, and either of our moms could fly here in a pinch.

This has actually sort of happened (my DH was on his deathbed at one point a few years ago), and our kids stayed with friends until my mom could fly in.

How is this helpful?! OP says she just moved and doesn't have local friends or reliable family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Until you make friends, would you ask your nanny if she would take them if necessary? I mean, it probably won't happen, but you might as well think about it.

Eventually, you'll make friends (I mean, when Covid restrictions are over and you can actually MEET people!) and that won't be necessary.

Also, in an emergency, perhaps your relatives could do it? I mean, not as a vacation, but should push come to shove, is it possible they could do it? Not to perfection, there would be more tv and pizza than block building and vegetables, but could they get it done? IT NOT, then ask your nanny.

I’ll ask our nanny. She’d probably want to take them to her house instead of ours but I guess it’s better than the alternative.

The nearby family includes loving grandparents (mine-so my kids great grandparents). They just physically couldn’t do it, but they could maybe help coordinate logistics to get someone else here.

Other family would be two plane rides away. I have a childless brother and sister in law, but they are in their 20s and I’m not sure they would show up for me like this.

DH and I both come from extraordinarily dysfunctional families and our children haven’t met most of our family members, including our mothers. I have a nice dad but he’s an absent minded professor type and just a total hippie. I’m not sure he could keep a toddler alive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn't that something you figure out the first day they are born?

Not necessarily - the people who took my kids in for a week are not the same people who would be their guardians if we both died.