Major crush on boss

[Anonymous]

I need tips on how to make this go away. We are both 100% single, but he is my boss.

If I met him outside of work, I would 100% want to date him. The more personal conversations we have, the more boxes he is checking.

I am not 100% sure if the he feels the same...maybe he is just bored with the pandemic. We have spent a considerable amount of time together - drinks/food after work that turn into us shutting down the restaurant. Which yes, maybe not going to these would be helpful...

Has anyone had this situation not explode?

[Anonymous]

Don't *** where you work.

Is he married.

Shut this down immediately. If he likes you he can ask you out like a normal person.

[Anonymous]

I dated a ton of bosses. Some went well, some ended badly.

Most important thing to do it check with HR on the rules about relationships. If you guys decide to date, let HR know right away. I didn’t, and one time other people found out and made a big fuss over it. We ended up breaking up because it was easier than dealing with the backlash.

Also prepare for the worst case scenarios. How will you handle it if he promotes someone else for a job you wanted? Will you want any special favors? If you break up with him, how will you guys handle that? What if he responds to a break up by retaliating at work? What if he breaks up with you? Will it make you want to find a new job?

[Anonymous]

Just be prepared to lose your job. If you can do that, then I say go for it.

Usually, the woman loses out in this situation. Almost always, the subordinate does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't *** where you work.

Is he married.

Shut this down immediately. If he likes you he can ask you out like a normal person.

Reading is fundamental. Read the OP.

[Anonymous]

If you decide to date, one of you should look for another job before you go to far. Work is a great place to meet someone because you really get to see what they're like without alcohol. You can tell how responsible and hard working they are. But, yeah, you need to tread carefully here. Take it real slow.

[Anonymous]

There is no way to date your boss without it affecting the overall morale and discipline of everyone else that works with you.

First, check with HR. Next, before things get to serious, see if there is another position in your company you could be moved to so you don't work in his chain. If not, plan on finding other employment.

[Anonymous]

You can’t date your boss. Flirting with your boss is pointless and makes you look terrible to him and everyone else. It’s okay to be a disciple of your boss so try to focus your crush energy on professional growth and make sure you never cross the line. One drink maximum, and drink it slowly.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I think the best thing is this vibe just needs to go away. There is no other spot for me to go in the org. I head one of his sub departments. The next step in my career progression is his position (at another company). But, I am not there yet.

I just need it to go away. Lol. It’s super distracting. It helps that we are still somewhat working remotely so I don’t actually see him that often. But, we are starting to head back to the office (a small group of us), so yeah there are lunches and happy hours. No one else joins.

[Anonymous]

OP -- you don't need to make the feelings go away, but you also don't need to make any decisions yet. there is absolutely no rush for such a consequential decision. If he is the one for you, then you can actually totally sit on this decision for a year or more as you figure out how to move other things around in your life and workplace to be with him.

The rush to act on impulses -- this is something you have total control over. exercise that control. If he's your soulmate, it can wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think the best thing is this vibe just needs to go away. There is no other spot for me to go in the org. I head one of his sub departments. The next step in my career progression is his position (at another company). But, I am not there yet.

I just need it to go away. Lol. It’s super distracting. It helps that we are still somewhat working remotely so I don’t actually see him that often. But, we are starting to head back to the office (a small group of us), so yeah there are lunches and happy hours. No one else joins.

You are going to lunches and happy hours alone with him? Sounds like you are already dating. He obviously does like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think the best thing is this vibe just needs to go away. There is no other spot for me to go in the org. I head one of his sub departments. The next step in my career progression is his position (at another company). But, I am not there yet.

I just need it to go away. Lol. It’s super distracting. It helps that we are still somewhat working remotely so I don’t actually see him that often. But, we are starting to head back to the office (a small group of us), so yeah there are lunches and happy hours. No one else joins.

You are going to lunches and happy hours alone with him? Sounds like you are already dating. He obviously does like you.

Yes, we go out by ourselves for hours...we have shut down multiple bars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think the best thing is this vibe just needs to go away. There is no other spot for me to go in the org. I head one of his sub departments. The next step in my career progression is his position (at another company). But, I am not there yet.

I just need it to go away. Lol. It’s super distracting. It helps that we are still somewhat working remotely so I don’t actually see him that often. But, we are starting to head back to the office (a small group of us), so yeah there are lunches and happy hours. No one else joins.

You are going to lunches and happy hours alone with him? Sounds like you are already dating. He obviously does like you.

Yes, we go out by ourselves for hours...we have shut down multiple bars.

It sounds like you definitely have a mutual attraction. OP, how old are you? As I've gotten older, I've come to realize that 1. you don't meet that many people you are really that mutually attracted to and 2. you don't need to rush anything. you don't need to decide anything immediately. You don't need to act as soon as you have an attraction. just sit with it.

[Anonymous]

find another job and THEN date him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think the best thing is this vibe just needs to go away. There is no other spot for me to go in the org. I head one of his sub departments. The next step in my career progression is his position (at another company). But, I am not there yet.

I just need it to go away. Lol. It’s super distracting. It helps that we are still somewhat working remotely so I don’t actually see him that often. But, we are starting to head back to the office (a small group of us), so yeah there are lunches and happy hours. No one else joins.

You are going to lunches and happy hours alone with him? Sounds like you are already dating. He obviously does like you.

Yes, we go out by ourselves for hours...we have shut down multiple bars.

Uhh definitely sounds like you are both into each other! lots of people meet at work, and you wouldn't be the first in this position. See where it goes and go from there