Meeting boyfriend's kid

[Anonymous]

I've been dating a great guy for about 3 months. He brought up starting to discuss what it would like for me to meet his six year old son. Anything I should think about or bring up to him? He said he wanted us to "start to approach the topic together"? It doesn't sound like he wants it to happen right away but more put it on my radar.

[Anonymous]

Think about whether you are 100% serious about him. Do not meet the child at all unless this is a long term relationship for you.

If your boyfriend does not have 50% legal and physical custody, ask why.

[Anonymous]

Do not get with a guy with kids. You can do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Think about whether you are 100% serious about him. Do not meet the child at all unless this is a long term relationship for you.

If your boyfriend does not have 50% legal and physical custody, ask why.

He does.

[Anonymous]

Alexa change my relationship setting to “Drama on”

[Anonymous]

Start to ask questions about the relationship with the kid's mom. Is it contentious? Are they constantly in court? As someone who has been there and is now married to the person, the kid part is pretty easy. The ex part is not.

[Anonymous]

He's feeling you out to see if you even want to meet the kid, and if you are on board to do so in the next few months.

+1 to thinking about his relationship with the ex. But also, think about whether you want to be a stepmother at all. Really think about it, do research, and read some books. Because it can be super difficult even if it doesn't seem that way at first. Do you want your children to be their father's 2nd and 3rd children? Do you want to step-parent and live with this child 50% of the time? Do you want to plan your lives to be compatible with a custody schedule and his agreements with his ex? It's not that easy even if everyone wants to make it work. Do you want to raise kids with a man who's also spending time and money on his son (likely time and money that would otherwise go to your future children)?

[Anonymous]

How old are you ? I wouldn’t contemplate doing this Intl you 110% convinced you want to stay. I’d say a year at least

[Anonymous]

Too soon. Wait a few more months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

How old are you ? I wouldn’t contemplate doing this Intl you 110% convinced you want to stay. I’d say a year at least

We're both 35. I've never been married no kids

[Anonymous]

Are youe even dating each other seriously?

I would not want to meet a child after only 3 months of dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not get with a guy with kids. You can do better.[/quote
I second this! WHAT A NIGHTMARE!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

How old are you ? I wouldn’t contemplate doing this Intl you 110% convinced you want to stay. I’d say a year at least

We're both 35. I've never been married no kids

Definitely don't meet the kid before 6 months. And don't meet the kid until you're certain you want to live with the kid long term.

If you're serious about this, maybe do some research into developmentally appropriate child behavior, especially following the trauma of divorce (and yes it's a trauma even if everyone's telling you it's fine). Many a relationship has been torpedoed by the childless partner's unrealistic expectations. Get ready for tantrums, aggravation, annoyance, perseveration, bad restaurants, and copious expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

How old are you ? I wouldn’t contemplate doing this Intl you 110% convinced you want to stay. I’d say a year at least

We're both 35. I've never been married no kids

DP: then Maybe it’s ok, your options are not as abundant as in your 20s...

[Anonymous]

Do you want to be a step mom? I don't care who the kid is, or how great, or what the terms are of the divorce ...you need to know if you want to be a step mom. And you have to be sure of it. Until you are sure, don't meet the kid