Help me teach my son about women’s rights!

[Anonymous]

I honestly don’t know where this came from. He was NOT raised this way...but DS(14) is completely anti-feminism and proclaims to be pro men’s rights! He thinks men are more oppressed than women, I guess. I just saw that he posted something about women also being rapists and pedophiles, so people should stop saying things like “teach your sons not to rape.” Ugh. We have discussed these issues his entire life. He should get it, but he doesn’t. He has two older sisters who are very vocal on civil rights issues. Talking isn’t getting through to him. Any other ideas to make him understand that men are not the oppressed ones, specifically white men like him? He speaks out in defense of all other marginalized groups, and is likely LGBTQ. For some reason he is strong ngly anti-feminism. Any movies that might resonate with him?

[Anonymous]

Whatever you do for him, stop. He wants equality? Then he can cook his own meals. Like many 14 year old girls are forced to do.

[Anonymous]

Have you tried listening to his point of view? I’m very feminist, but I’ve found it’s more beneficial to listen to MRA than to just tell them they’re wrong. Usually there’s a deeper issue, and they just use women/feminism as a scapegoat.

[Anonymous]

Are you married, and if so, how does your DH relate to you?

[Anonymous]

You know he’s getting this stuff online, right. Ask him to show you where he finds his “facts” and then talk to him about it.

[Anonymous]

Start monitoring what he’s watching online ASAP. He’s likely getting sucked in to MRA stuff, which is toxic enough on its own but will definitely lead to even more toxic views. Read up on articles by people formerly in the MRA movement to get ideas for deprogramming. This is serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is likely LGBTQ.

Honest question. Is this the proper way to say that you think he’s gay? He obviously can’t be L, G, B, T and Q, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know he’s getting this stuff online, right. Ask him to show you where he finds his “facts” and then talk to him about it.

This. My son is getting the same messages and he's also getting a lot of racist messages online. He was not raised this way. In fact, our household roles as parents are mostly reversed from the stereotypes. My husband cooks dinner. I fix things like plumbing, cars, wiring. Thankfully my son talks to me about it and I can try to steer him in a better direction. We support equal rights for all, both in law and in application. And I explain how application is the trickier part.

A lot of what he's hearing is that women won't date him unless he has a lot of money, and women are gold diggers, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know he’s getting this stuff online, right. Ask him to show you where he finds his “facts” and then talk to him about it.

This. My son is getting the same messages and he's also getting a lot of racist messages online. He was not raised this way. In fact, our household roles as parents are mostly reversed from the stereotypes. My husband cooks dinner. I fix things like plumbing, cars, wiring. Thankfully my son talks to me about it and I can try to steer him in a better direction. We support equal rights for all, both in law and in application. And I explain how application is the trickier part.

A lot of what he's hearing is that women won't date him unless he has a lot of money, and women are gold diggers, etc.

Oh, and a great place to start is the fact that white male christian land owners were the people who originally had all the rights in this country, and everyone else had to fight tooth and nail to even get close. Stuff like marriage equity doesn't mean gay people get "more" rights, which is what my son believes. But they finally get equal rights. It doesn't diminish the value of a heterosexual marriage in any way. He can go straight marry whomever he pleases and live happily ever after. But there is no logical reason to deny this human right to gay people.

Women couldn't buy a house on their own. My mother couldn't. I tell him about that. I ask him how he'd feel if Dad lost his job and it depended on me to keep a roof over our heads. Would it be fair if I couldn't get a lease or a mortgage?

Women couldn't get credit cards in their own name. Again, my mother couldn't. I remember when she was close to tears using her own card at the grocery store for the first time. I ask him how he'd feel if I didn't buy him fun stuff every once in awhile because I didn't have access to credit? Put it in terms they understand.

[Anonymous]

Stop lecturing to him. Monitor what he’s looking at online.

Please remember that he’s 14. This may not last forever.

(Or he just might be a d*ck. Look how Stephen miller turned out.)

[Anonymous]

1. As pps have siad he's likely getting these ideas online you need to find out what he is looking at and have a discussion. If you are willing and he is willing perhaps encourage himm to really research the issues and have a debate.


2. Agree with him it's true their are women who are rapists, pedophiles, and abusive don't try to downplay these crimes.


3. Take inventory about how you speak in the home. I don't like phrases like teach boys not to rape , or all men are rapists etc. I don't think it's very helpful. You say he has 2 oldr sister he probably feels "unheard" at home and bein antifemanist is his way of rebelling against you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Start monitoring what he’s watching online ASAP. He’s likely getting sucked in to MRA stuff, which is toxic enough on its own but will definitely lead to even more toxic views. Read up on articles by people formerly in the MRA movement to get ideas for deprogramming. This is serious.

+1. It's amazing how online algorithms work to promote certain content, and it only gets worse.

[Anonymous]

Listen, don’t lecture. Also, is he possibly trying to assert himself as different from his sisters in a 14-year-old-younger-brother kind of a way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whatever you do for him, stop. He wants equality? Then he can cook his own meals. Like many 14 year old girls are forced to do.

+1. Can also do his own laundry. If he wants equality give it to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whatever you do for him, stop. He wants equality? Then he can cook his own meals. Like many 14 year old girls are forced to do.

+1. Can also do his own laundry. If he wants equality give it to him.

Interesting that you both assume OP is doing his laundry.

Anyway, don't do this OP. This will likely get you the exact opposite of what you want.