Attending a funeral during the pandemic

[Anonymous]

A close member of my extended family will likely pass very soon (extended illness, DNR). The immediate family would like to have an indoor ceremony for her. Family would be driving/flying from all over, including some from hotspots. Some are Trump supporters, and even those who are not may not adhere to wearing a mask the whole time. My family has been eating at restaurants indoors, etc. recently in their area, so I think they probably consider an hour ceremony to be no big deal.

Has anyone attended a funeral since the pandemic began? I'm torn because I want to support my family, but also don't want to attend an indoor ceremony. I'm not high risk, but don't want to risk getting it or passing it to my immediate family. What have others' funeral experiences been like recently? Did you comply with the family's wishes, or make some changes to protect yourself?

[Anonymous]

I would not attend an indoor ceremony.

[Anonymous]

This is so stupid. Do not do it. Send not only flowers and a card, but also a big Harry and David basket or something to one of the hotel rooms, so that you can help "participate" in the gathering.

You KNOW this is stupid. You KNOW this is unsafe. If you value your feelings of guilt and your unreasonable family members' good opinion of you over the health and safety of your family and your community, then you suck. You don't get to call other people "Trumpsters" or "covidiots" because you are even worse then them, to KNOW and believe the dangers and to act so selfishly anyway.

[Anonymous]

I have attended 2 funerals during the pandemic. One live-streamed from the church, where 10 people were actually present (felt cold/sterile, even as close family member). The other was done as a Zoom from the church, with grandchildren participating from far playing pre-recorded music/singing and some live. It was warm, friendly, and absolutely beautiful service for this grandmother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have attended 2 funerals during the pandemic. One live-streamed from the church, where 10 people were actually present (felt cold/sterile, even as close family member). The other was done as a Zoom from the church, with grandchildren participating from far playing pre-recorded music/singing and some live. It was warm, friendly, and absolutely beautiful service for this grandmother

Bet these folks wished they had gone the sterile route:

https://www.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/national/article244795077.html

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/a-funeral-sparked-a-covid-19-outbreak--and-led-to-many-more-funerals/2020/04/03/546fa0cc-74e6-11ea-87da-77a8136c1a6d_story.html

https://www.wxii12.com/article/chatham-county-covid-19-exposure-funeral-memorial-service-coronavirus/33513176

I could keep going, sadly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so stupid. Do not do it. Send not only flowers and a card, but also a big Harry and David basket or something to one of the hotel rooms, so that you can help "participate" in the gathering.

You KNOW this is stupid. You KNOW this is unsafe. If you value your feelings of guilt and your unreasonable family members' good opinion of you over the health and safety of your family and your community, then you suck. You don't get to call other people "Trumpsters" or "covidiots" because you are even worse then them, to KNOW and believe the dangers and to act so selfishly anyway.

Hi, this is OP. I really do want to support my family members who are losing their immediate loved one. We are big, close-knit, immigrant family. If I don't go, I may be the only one who doesn't. This is a tough decision. I'm thinking perhaps I could go to be support to the immediate family outdoors, but skip the indoor ceremony with everyone else.

[Anonymous]

I attended a funeral for a close family member. There were 12 of us in attendance, distanced and wearing masks. The service was online for those who couldn't come. No one became sick. I wouldn't attend a funeral with a large group of people, no matter who has died.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so stupid. Do not do it. Send not only flowers and a card, but also a big Harry and David basket or something to one of the hotel rooms, so that you can help "participate" in the gathering.

You KNOW this is stupid. You KNOW this is unsafe. If you value your feelings of guilt and your unreasonable family members' good opinion of you over the health and safety of your family and your community, then you suck. You don't get to call other people "Trumpsters" or "covidiots" because you are even worse then them, to KNOW and believe the dangers and to act so selfishly anyway.

Hi, this is OP. I really do want to support my family members who are losing their immediate loved one. We are big, close-knit, immigrant family. If I don't go, I may be the only one who doesn't. This is a tough decision. I'm thinking perhaps I could go to be support to the immediate family outdoors, but skip the indoor ceremony with everyone else.

Also, everyone attending will have risk factors--most are over 60, almost all are overweight, diabetic, etc. I think they feel it's worth it to support the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I attended a funeral for a close family member. There were 12 of us in attendance, distanced and wearing masks. The service was online for those who couldn't come. No one became sick. I wouldn't attend a funeral with a large group of people, no matter who has died.

OP here. Did everyone keep masks on and stay distanced? I worry if there's crying, shouting, etc. that masks may come off, there will be hugging, etc.

[Anonymous]

I just went to my mother in law's funeral, but it was outside, masks on, and nothing indoors at all. I wouldn't do an indoor one.

[Anonymous]

My friend who lives in FLA flew here for her moms funeral. She and Her whole family are Trumpers.

It was in moco though so we wore masks and sat 6ft apart indoors.

I did not go to the after “party”.

I can home, removed all my clothes, showered and washed my clothes. 😀

I smile because my college age student was like take a shower and change your clothes, I might hang with my friends but FLA and Trump ... you need a shower.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so stupid. Do not do it. Send not only flowers and a card, but also a big Harry and David basket or something to one of the hotel rooms, so that you can help "participate" in the gathering.

You KNOW this is stupid. You KNOW this is unsafe. If you value your feelings of guilt and your unreasonable family members' good opinion of you over the health and safety of your family and your community, then you suck. You don't get to call other people "Trumpsters" or "covidiots" because you are even worse then them, to KNOW and believe the dangers and to act so selfishly anyway.

Hi, this is OP. I really do want to support my family members who are losing their immediate loved one. We are big, close-knit, immigrant family. If I don't go, I may be the only one who doesn't. This is a tough decision. I'm thinking perhaps I could go to be support to the immediate family outdoors, but skip the indoor ceremony with everyone else.

You either care about spreading this virus, or you don’t. You either value your family’s feelings more than the health and safety of your community, or you don’t. Pick one. It’s one or the other. But you don’t get to go and then say you are careful. You do t get to act like you know and care more than “Trumpster.” You will be a Trumpster if you go—me and mine and my popularity above science and my community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A close member of my extended family will likely pass very soon (extended illness, DNR). The immediate family would like to have an indoor ceremony for her. Family would be driving/flying from all over, including some from hotspots. Some are Trump supporters, and even those who are not may not adhere to wearing a mask the whole time. My family has been eating at restaurants indoors, etc. recently in their area, so I think they probably consider an hour ceremony to be no big deal.

Has anyone attended a funeral since the pandemic began? I'm torn because I want to support my family, but also don't want to attend an indoor ceremony. I'm not high risk, but don't want to risk getting it or passing it to my immediate family. What have others' funeral experiences been like recently? Did you comply with the family's wishes, or make some changes to protect yourself?

What on earth does Trump have to do with this question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A close member of my extended family will likely pass very soon (extended illness, DNR). The immediate family would like to have an indoor ceremony for her. Family would be driving/flying from all over, including some from hotspots. Some are Trump supporters, and even those who are not may not adhere to wearing a mask the whole time. My family has been eating at restaurants indoors, etc. recently in their area, so I think they probably consider an hour ceremony to be no big deal.

Has anyone attended a funeral since the pandemic began? I'm torn because I want to support my family, but also don't want to attend an indoor ceremony. I'm not high risk, but don't want to risk getting it or passing it to my immediate family. What have others' funeral experiences been like recently? Did you comply with the family's wishes, or make some changes to protect yourself?

What on earth does Trump have to do with this question?

m

Ask OP! Read her original post. She’s implying her Trumpster relatives don’t care about safety or community spread, and thus won’t understand if she does not go.

[Anonymous]

I went to an indoor funeral last month but a) everyone wore a mask the entire time, b) it was a small group (15-20 I think), c) we’re not in a hotspot (medium sized city in the Midwest and only 2 people traveled from a different area and they drove and the area they came from is also not a hotspot), d) no one hugged or touched each other (no shaking hands, no arm around someone’s shoulders, etc). Everyone was following safety protocol and the funeral home required it, list of rules posted. It was not at all like a normal funeral where people hug and embrace and sit close together.