Is this annoying? Daughter’s bf always orders so much!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just "forget" to order his extras.

this is a good idea imo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rich? Is the kid from a rich family? I housed some boys from NYC and Connecticut, and if we stopped by even Burger King this one kid would order three meals!
Knowing that I had cooked dinner as well, but teen athletes so I was trying to make sure they were full. He had money from parents a ton of money, and he knew we were not that well off based on our house! Never one offered to pay for his own.

Np this seems more something a kid from a lower class family would do. At least that’s what I’ve seen. Rich kids have always had excellent manners

I will say that it’s awkward being a guest and wanting more. You offer to pay but the hosts don’t let you.

My guess is you grew up well off. In my experience, a kid who did not (I am one) would be uber focused on the extra cost of an appetizer, soda, etc. Versus someone who grew up never having to worry about those extra costs is more oblivious. I don’t think it relates to manners in either case (and regardless manners are not tied at all to income level other than fake niceties).

Pp here. I did grow up well off. I dated guys or had friends who weren’t. And they thought my parents should pay because they could afford it and they’d order up. It was rudeness.

I remember my sister at 16 sat at a table with her friends and ordered 3 milkshakes and also an entree. My parents couldn’t believe it. They’d get $80 bills just from her at places like Cheesecake Factory. She told them they could afford it. It’s a common bratty refrain.

This guy though is probably just hungry. Dh would finish his meal and then eat mine and often my moms, but we offered!

Your parent should have told her one entree and one milkshake and no paying for friends or take away her credit card. Simple.

[Anonymous]

Why not just tell him he's being rude? Or you can tell your daughter to inform him?

[Anonymous]

I have three sisters and our boyfriends were always over at our house eating our food. My mom would have them do chores around the house. My oldest sister is 12 years older than me. I don't think my mom or dad or any of us girls changed a light bulb in that house for a good fifteen years. She also had them do yard work! Fair exchange, I think!

[Anonymous]

Are you taking orders from everyone, or just passing around the ordering app? When I order takeout for a kid's friend, I usually hand them the laptop or phone that we're ordering from. I don't expect them to take an inventory of everyone else's order. If I were concerned about the cost, I might say, "we already added appetizers to share and we have X here for dessert, so pick your entrees." But, an appetizer and an entree is not "multiple meals."

Even if your family has never considered ordering more than a sandwich from a fast food place, don't begrudge a 20 year old guy a soda and an order of french fries (or even an extra sandwich). This is not "so much food" for a kid that age.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds miserly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very rude!

See, I think it's horribly rude to treat guests like this. No manners at all, it's not like he's ordering Beluga and Far Niente. In my culture, we don't ration the food for guests. No wonder wasps are so uptight and miserable. The young gentleman should also take the family out to eat, or bring flowers, wine, a nice gift for the host.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very rude!

See, I think it's horribly rude to treat guests like this. No manners at all, it's not like he's ordering Beluga and Far Niente. In my culture, we don't ration the food for guests. No wonder wasps are so uptight and miserable. The young gentleman should also take the family out to eat, or bring flowers, wine, a nice gift for the host.

Most people don't ration food, especially if eating at home but most guests don't order the most expensive meal, appetizer and desert either. You follow the lead of the host.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you taking orders from everyone, or just passing around the ordering app? When I order takeout for a kid's friend, I usually hand them the laptop or phone that we're ordering from. I don't expect them to take an inventory of everyone else's order. If I were concerned about the cost, I might say, "we already added appetizers to share and we have X here for dessert, so pick your entrees." But, an appetizer and an entree is not "multiple meals."

Even if your family has never considered ordering more than a sandwich from a fast food place, don't begrudge a 20 year old guy a soda and an order of french fries (or even an extra sandwich). This is not "so much food" for a kid that age.

Soda and fries is ok. An extra sandwich is a bit much.

[Anonymous]

He’s not being rude. He’s ordering what is a meal for him. I have two college aged boys and trust me, he is not ordering too much. Also, how is he supposed to know that cost is an issue if you or your daughter don’t tell the boy? Tell him things are tight right now - ask if he could chip in or tell him that you are only ordering entrees tonight. He can’t read your mind!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rich? Is the kid from a rich family? I housed some boys from NYC and Connecticut, and if we stopped by even Burger King this one kid would order three meals!
Knowing that I had cooked dinner as well, but teen athletes so I was trying to make sure they were full. He had money from parents a ton of money, and he knew we were not that well off based on our house! Never one offered to pay for his own.

Np this seems more something a kid from a lower class family would do. At least that’s what I’ve seen. Rich kids have always had excellent manners

I will say that it’s awkward being a guest and wanting more. You offer to pay but the hosts don’t let you.

You are gross and trashy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s not being rude. He’s ordering what is a meal for him. I have two college aged boys and trust me, he is not ordering too much. Also, how is he supposed to know that cost is an issue if you or your daughter don’t tell the boy? Tell him things are tight right now - ask if he could chip in or tell him that you are only ordering entrees tonight. He can’t read your mind!

As a parent, you teach them these things. You tell your college kids if they are with another family, they order ONE meal, not two. They are only allowed to order two meals with your family. I tell mine all the time that its ok we do this or that in our home but in someone else's home you need to ask or it may be different. I would buy your kid two meals but I wouldn't be quick to offer again or invite them again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you cook? I personally am cheap and that is why we never eat out unless it's our anniversary. I enjoy cooking but DH's son, wife and kids are into meat and potatoes and live on fast food. Thank goodness DH has a wider palate. They don't live with us and the last time they came over to visit, I made some tempeh with Thai curry. The way I see it, it's cheaper and healthier to make your own meals. You need to train visitors to not rely on you for their meals. If they want take-out, they can get it and pay for it themselves. The PPs here who claim that you're begrudging your daughter's BF make it sound like he's going to be her future DH. Probably not and so you need to draw your boundaries and not pay for his share of the takeout if you're not willing to feed him yourself.

Are you a concubine?

[Anonymous]

I dont care what his excuse is.. his lack of awareness is the problem and its a red flag for larger issues down the road. Encourage her to get rid of him asap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you cook? I personally am cheap and that is why we never eat out unless it's our anniversary. I enjoy cooking but DH's son, wife and kids are into meat and potatoes and live on fast food. Thank goodness DH has a wider palate. They don't live with us and the last time they came over to visit, I made some tempeh with Thai curry. The way I see it, it's cheaper and healthier to make your own meals. You need to train visitors to not rely on you for their meals. If they want take-out, they can get it and pay for it themselves. The PPs here who claim that you're begrudging your daughter's BF make it sound like he's going to be her future DH. Probably not and so you need to draw your boundaries and not pay for his share of the takeout if you're not willing to feed him yourself.

Are you a concubine?

Are you dumb? PP is the stepmom to an adult stepson.