Is this annoying? Daughter’s bf always orders so much!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the BF posted here asking for advice, I'd tell him to modify his order practices to fall in line with the rest of your family. But since you posted here, I'm going to tell you to get over it. If he's a nice guy and he is good to your daughter and she's happy with him, this is nothing in the scheme of things.

+1. I’m kind of shocked that here on DCUM people are getting into a bunch about $15.

OP, if this young man was genuinely hungry, wouldn’t you want him to eat? Is any of this food going to waste?

$15 may be a lot for most people. We don't do fancy eating out so $15 is max for one meal for us. If he wants two meals, he can pay for one. Otherwise, you order one meal like a normal person. $15x4-5 people really starts to add up quickly.

[Anonymous]

Teenage and college aged boys eat A LOT. You must not have any boys that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of it is upbringing. My husband's son had a girlfriend and when he was coming to visit, she demanded we pay for a ticket and invite her or he couldn't come. We caved in and she'd order multiple courses, bring it home and then it would go to waste as she wouldn't eat it and demand we take her out again. We put an end to it pretty quickly. We'd tell her we are all going out to dinner and you can order one entree under XXX amount.

You do realize these two situations are different. PP’s DD’s BF is ordering an extra sandwich and dessert and EATING them on the spot. He’s probably 20 and still growing.

Still not acceptable. Your order one meal or offer to pay the difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rich? Is the kid from a rich family? I housed some boys from NYC and Connecticut, and if we stopped by even Burger King this one kid would order three meals!
Knowing that I had cooked dinner as well, but teen athletes so I was trying to make sure they were full. He had money from parents a ton of money, and he knew we were not that well off based on our house! Never one offered to pay for his own.

Np this seems more something a kid from a lower class family would do. At least that’s what I’ve seen. Rich kids have always had excellent manners

I will say that it’s awkward being a guest and wanting more. You offer to pay but the hosts don’t let you.

My guess is you grew up well off. In my experience, a kid who did not (I am one) would be uber focused on the extra cost of an appetizer, soda, etc. Versus someone who grew up never having to worry about those extra costs is more oblivious. I don’t think it relates to manners in either case (and regardless manners are not tied at all to income level other than fake niceties).

Pp here. I did grow up well off. I dated guys or had friends who weren’t. And they thought my parents should pay because they could afford it and they’d order up. It was rudeness.

I remember my sister at 16 sat at a table with her friends and ordered 3 milkshakes and also an entree. My parents couldn’t believe it. They’d get $80 bills just from her at places like Cheesecake Factory. She told them they could afford it. It’s a common bratty refrain.

This guy though is probably just hungry. Dh would finish his meal and then eat mine and often my moms, but we offered!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of it is upbringing. My husband's son had a girlfriend and when he was coming to visit, she demanded we pay for a ticket and invite her or he couldn't come. We caved in and she'd order multiple courses, bring it home and then it would go to waste as she wouldn't eat it and demand we take her out again. We put an end to it pretty quickly. We'd tell her we are all going out to dinner and you can order one entree under XXX amount.

You do realize these two situations are different. PP’s DD’s BF is ordering an extra sandwich and dessert and EATING them on the spot. He’s probably 20 and still growing.

Still not acceptable. Your order one meal or offer to pay the difference.

DC and girlfriend are both acting sleazy. Sorry!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We take my SIL and BIL out to dinner anytime we stay with them, and she orders like crazy (in stark contrast to ordering like a mouse when we are not treating) but I also figure she’s been hosting us all week and I did offer an open-ended dinner as a direct thank you to her, so I should shut up and let her enjoy the lobster.

Stop making it open ended - it sounds like that is the issue.

Uh...YEAH. Someone hosting you for a week is you eating hundreds of dollars in groceries, they probably ordered takeout a night or two, you've been running up the water and energy bills, they likely did extra cleaning and baking and laundry to prepare for you...

Literally the least you can do for someone hosting you for A WEEK is treat them to a very nice dinner.

[Anonymous]

Just plan ahead for dessert and have ice cream or cake or whatever on hand to head off that request.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the BF posted here asking for advice, I'd tell him to modify his order practices to fall in line with the rest of your family. But since you posted here, I'm going to tell you to get over it. If he's a nice guy and he is good to your daughter and she's happy with him, this is nothing in the scheme of things.

+1. I’m kind of shocked that here on DCUM people are getting into a bunch about $15.

OP, if this young man was genuinely hungry, wouldn’t you want him to eat? Is any of this food going to waste?

$15 may be a lot for most people. We don't do fancy eating out so $15 is max for one meal for us. If he wants two meals, he can pay for one. Otherwise, you order one meal like a normal person. $15x4-5 people really starts to add up quickly.

I’m not talking about most people - I am referring to the people who post here. Do you read any of the money/vacation/exercise/restaurant threads on this board?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the BF posted here asking for advice, I'd tell him to modify his order practices to fall in line with the rest of your family. But since you posted here, I'm going to tell you to get over it. If he's a nice guy and he is good to your daughter and she's happy with him, this is nothing in the scheme of things.

+1. I’m kind of shocked that here on DCUM people are getting into a bunch about $15.

OP, if this young man was genuinely hungry, wouldn’t you want him to eat? Is any of this food going to waste?

$15 may be a lot for most people. We don't do fancy eating out so $15 is max for one meal for us. If he wants two meals, he can pay for one. Otherwise, you order one meal like a normal person. $15x4-5 people really starts to add up quickly.

I’m not talking about most people - I am referring to the people who post here. Do you read any of the money/vacation/exercise/restaurant threads on this board?

And your math is wrong. You don’t get to put all of OP’s family members’ meals into the equation if they were going to order out anyway. It’s just the extra for the BF.

[Anonymous]

I do have an instant pot and use it frequently! I already try and manage the issue by avoiding doing take out when he is over. My issue isn’t how to manage it. My issue is- it seems rude and he’s clueless about it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do have an instant pot and use it frequently! I already try and manage the issue by avoiding doing take out when he is over. My issue isn’t how to manage it. My issue is- it seems rude and he’s clueless about it!

So what exactly do you want people on this site to do? You're not looking for suggestions and you're not looking to figure out of it's rude, because you're already convinced it is. If you're looking for a resounding chorus of people telling you how rude he is, you're not going to get it, because, to a lot of us, complaining about a kid ordering two chicken sandwiches seems a lot more rude.

[Anonymous]

Just order pizza. Choose the toppings.

Also, boys that age eat a lot.

Maybe his family always orders a ton of food.

[Anonymous]

The dessert is over the top. That is truly clueless and as others have suggested you can just say, "we aren't doing desserts." If he has any self-awareness he'll realize his error and you'll be doing him a favor.

[Anonymous]

Just "forget" to order his extras.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teenage and college aged boys eat A LOT. You must not have any boys that age.

This.