Is this annoying? Daughter’s bf always orders so much!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he's a growing boy and needs all of these nutrients/calories. Now that you know this about him, don't offer if you don't wan to buy all the food he requests.

Again, where does this end? Why is it her responsibility to throw food into his bottomless pit of a stomach? Is it alright if he just laces into her kitchen, eating anything and as much as wishes? If he eats frequently with this family, he must see that his consumption is out of step with the rest, and should take some responsibility for supplementing his diet.

This is ridiculous; he's a college age guy eating a normal amount for his age. No need for the drama- he's NOT ordering 3 meals. Unclench.

OP - it sounds like he's 1. Following your dd's lead so if there's a manners issue maybe look closer to home too! 2. A LOT of families wouldn't think his orders are at all odd, & he's not a mind-reader. When I have guests, I host. When I'm tight on money I'll order from a cheap pizza place. Otherwise I'll order from a place everyone likes & not worry about it.

He seems comfortable with your family which generally is a plus. Don't limit his face food orders 🙄. Or tell DD and her BF to go pick up food & you'll pay but she picks up. Avoids the Doordash fees, tipping the driver and you seem like a penny pincher so there you go.

As a parent, you need to teach your kids to behave in other people's home. You order one meal except if you are offered more. You are clearly much more comfortable than us. I wouldn't even know how much delivery food is as we'd never use it. But, isn't that a lot more. When your kids are out with other families, future employers, employers or others, just because someone else pays doesn't mean they take advantage of it and they should offer to pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d worry more that I’m feeding someone else’s kid too much crap junk food. It’s not like he’s ordering lobster or $200 bottles of wine.

His parents are probably happy he's mooching off his girlfriend's parents so they don't have to feed him.

Or this is what he would get with parents, and they are disappointed that his girlfriends mom is a cheapskate.

Or, maybe mom cannot afford it. My MIL financially struggled. I'd always pay (or if I was with my husband) he'd pay. She simply could not afford it so I'd grab the check before it came to the table not to embarrass her. A cheap restaurant, even fast casual was a huge treat for her. How do you raise your kids not to get these things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh my God, you don’t really track quantity on a fast food order?!

Set some parameters for takeout: “We’re ordering from Thai Palace. Let us know what two entrees you want, and give me ideas for an appetizer to share.”

This. Give parameters nicely. Also he is probably a lot more hungry than you are, he's a boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We took my sister and her then bf out for dinner once when they visited. They were in their 20s and the bf ordered 3 specialty margaritas which ended up costing about $50. I learned my lesson quickly and we never took them out to eat again. If you are offering and the kid is ordering too much in your mind, say, “Everyone choose one entree and we will order a couple of appetizers to share. We have ice cream here for dessert if anyone wants something sweet afterward.”

Or these days, learn what places have a family meal. Chuy’s has a great taco meal for about $45. Zoes has a small and large family meal with lots of choices.

Our chuy's closed but they never had meals for $45 and often that was our entire bill. (assuming it is a type as their meals were under $15.

We get takeout regularly from chuys. They have great family meals - tacos or fajitas. They say they feed 4 but we get an extra dozen tortillas and more sides and with all the chips and dips and queso it’s enough for our family of 6.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read all of the posts, but I am shocked how many people are attacking OP. It doesn't sound like she's trying to deny the boy food, but for a guest to consistently order multiple course meals when no one else is, is rude or clueless, and either is a problem. Sure, he's hungry, but he's also rude. I can't imagine anyone posting on here would do the same - repeatedly - at someone else's home and think that's okay. Sure, fast food isn't as big of a deal, but it sounds as if the issue is that he always does it, no matter the restaurant. As someone else said, he should be offering to treat the family every now and then to show a little appreciation. Even if it's just treating to Taco Bell or Chick-Fil-A, it's the polite thing to do. OP's income has nothing to do with this. They could be zillionaires, and it would still be rude. And whoever mentioned that "rich" people have better manners is crazy. One of my best friends growing up was incredibly wealthy and was one of the cheapest people I knew. She'd borrow money every time we went somewhere and never pay me/my parents back, but if you borrowed money from her, she'd fully expect to be repaid. My parents would have been very upset if I acted like that, and we had far less money than her family. I eventually adjusted by only bringing enough money for my meal, movie, etc., but it was annoying.

My only defense for him is if he weren't raised to know better. OP shouldn't have to be the one to tell him, but I guess she'd be doing him a favor to help him see how this comes across. Awkward, but better than being a 40-year-old who still doesn't get it.

[Anonymous]

I met my husband when he was 19 years old, 6'4" and 220 pounds. He's never, to my knowledge, eaten 2 meals at a fast food restaurant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read all of the posts, but I am shocked how many people are attacking OP. It doesn't sound like she's trying to deny the boy food, but for a guest to consistently order multiple course meals when no one else is, is rude or clueless, and either is a problem. Sure, he's hungry, but he's also rude. I can't imagine anyone posting on here would do the same - repeatedly - at someone else's home and think that's okay. Sure, fast food isn't as big of a deal, but it sounds as if the issue is that he always does it, no matter the restaurant. As someone else said, he should be offering to treat the family every now and then to show a little appreciation. Even if it's just treating to Taco Bell or Chick-Fil-A, it's the polite thing to do. OP's income has nothing to do with this. They could be zillionaires, and it would still be rude. And whoever mentioned that "rich" people have better manners is crazy. One of my best friends growing up was incredibly wealthy and was one of the cheapest people I knew. She'd borrow money every time we went somewhere and never pay me/my parents back, but if you borrowed money from her, she'd fully expect to be repaid. My parents would have been very upset if I acted like that, and we had far less money than her family. I eventually adjusted by only bringing enough money for my meal, movie, etc., but it was annoying.

My only defense for him is if he weren't raised to know better. OP shouldn't have to be the one to tell him, but I guess she'd be doing him a favor to help him see how this comes across. Awkward, but better than being a 40-year-old who still doesn't get it.

Then it's up to OP to tell him: no apps, no dessert, only one entree when eating out in this family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read all of the posts, but I am shocked how many people are attacking OP. It doesn't sound like she's trying to deny the boy food, but for a guest to consistently order multiple course meals when no one else is, is rude or clueless, and either is a problem. Sure, he's hungry, but he's also rude. I can't imagine anyone posting on here would do the same - repeatedly - at someone else's home and think that's okay. Sure, fast food isn't as big of a deal, but it sounds as if the issue is that he always does it, no matter the restaurant. As someone else said, he should be offering to treat the family every now and then to show a little appreciation. Even if it's just treating to Taco Bell or Chick-Fil-A, it's the polite thing to do. OP's income has nothing to do with this. They could be zillionaires, and it would still be rude. And whoever mentioned that "rich" people have better manners is crazy. One of my best friends growing up was incredibly wealthy and was one of the cheapest people I knew. She'd borrow money every time we went somewhere and never pay me/my parents back, but if you borrowed money from her, she'd fully expect to be repaid. My parents would have been very upset if I acted like that, and we had far less money than her family. I eventually adjusted by only bringing enough money for my meal, movie, etc., but it was annoying.

My only defense for him is if he weren't raised to know better. OP shouldn't have to be the one to tell him, but I guess she'd be doing him a favor to help him see how this comes across. Awkward, but better than being a 40-year-old who still doesn't get it.

Then it's up to OP to tell him: no apps, no dessert, only one entree when eating out in this family.

Ultimately it is up to OP to set the boundaries but its kinda sad no one else has up till now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read all of the posts, but I am shocked how many people are attacking OP. It doesn't sound like she's trying to deny the boy food, but for a guest to consistently order multiple course meals when no one else is, is rude or clueless, and either is a problem. Sure, he's hungry, but he's also rude. I can't imagine anyone posting on here would do the same - repeatedly - at someone else's home and think that's okay. Sure, fast food isn't as big of a deal, but it sounds as if the issue is that he always does it, no matter the restaurant. As someone else said, he should be offering to treat the family every now and then to show a little appreciation. Even if it's just treating to Taco Bell or Chick-Fil-A, it's the polite thing to do. OP's income has nothing to do with this. They could be zillionaires, and it would still be rude. And whoever mentioned that "rich" people have better manners is crazy. One of my best friends growing up was incredibly wealthy and was one of the cheapest people I knew. She'd borrow money every time we went somewhere and never pay me/my parents back, but if you borrowed money from her, she'd fully expect to be repaid. My parents would have been very upset if I acted like that, and we had far less money than her family. I eventually adjusted by only bringing enough money for my meal, movie, etc., but it was annoying.

My only defense for him is if he weren't raised to know better. OP shouldn't have to be the one to tell him, but I guess she'd be doing him a favor to help him see how this comes across. Awkward, but better than being a 40-year-old who still doesn't get it.

Then it's up to OP to tell him: no apps, no dessert, only one entree when eating out in this family.

Ultimately it is up to OP to set the boundaries but its kinda sad no one else has up till now.

I don't think it's "sad." His parents probably let him have more freedom to eat when he is hungry. As long as he is in shape, that is fine. It's not like he is ordering multiple cocktails and getting raging drunk. OP is the one who thinks that one entree is enough for anyone. Since she is paying, she needs to be the one to enforce it. As in: "Larlo, we only order one entree a piece, so that's all we will treat for. Feel free to order and pay for anything else you would like."

I have relatives who love going out to eat, and don't want to eat at home. Pre covid, when we would go out to eat with them, we would always offer to pay and they would refuse. And then blame us for anything we ordered that they didn't approve of. Long story. Finally l let them know we would not eat with them unless we paid for what we ordered and they paid for what they ordered.

Morale of the story: if you have strict requirements around food, don't offer to pay for other people or state up front what they can order and what they can't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We took my sister and her then bf out for dinner once when they visited. They were in their 20s and the bf ordered 3 specialty margaritas which ended up costing about $50. I learned my lesson quickly and we never took them out to eat again. If you are offering and the kid is ordering too much in your mind, say, “Everyone choose one entree and we will order a couple of appetizers to share. We have ice cream here for dessert if anyone wants something sweet afterward.”

Or these days, learn what places have a family meal. Chuy’s has a great taco meal for about $45. Zoes has a small and large family meal with lots of choices.

Our chuy's closed but they never had meals for $45 and often that was our entire bill. (assuming it is a type as their meals were under $15.

I LOVE Chuy’s. They do great TO GO packages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Chick Fil A thing wouldn’t bother me at all, but the Thai thing seems greedy and clueless. Are you sure he and your DD aren’t sharing each other’s food?

As a PP said, set parameters.

+1.

[Anonymous]

He's a boyfriend, no longer a guest. You no longer need to be polite. He's part of the family now set the parameters.


He's quite rude, but given how people in this area raise their kids it's no surprise a 19/20 is this uncouth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met my husband when he was 19 years old, 6'4" and 220 pounds. He's never, to my knowledge, eaten 2 meals at a fast food restaurant.

Because everyone’s metabolism is the same?

My DH is also 6’4”, 250 lbs and clear muscle definition. Doesn’t really workout. He could eat 9 meals a day for a week and look the same.

[Anonymous]

I would stock my freezer with Costco frozen meals to supplement when leftovers are being served so there is no need to order food. Serve it all buffet style.

You might also consider that they like being at your home because you do order out so much. Why don't they spend more time at his home? Maybe if the takeout gravy train stops, they will spend more time at his house and his parents can play host.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like you are the one placing the order. Just because he says he wants something doesn't mean you have to order it. When you're calling in the order or placing the order online, you have the ability to edit peoples' choices, especially if it is your dime being spent.