Errands with Maskless ASD child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you running errands right now? Amazon prime should be your best friend. Target delivers free for orders $35 and up. And many places are going back to doing curbside. Our kids have not been on a single errand with us since last March! Either one of us stays home, but most delivered or curbside. Even prescriptions can be brought out to the car.

We do that a lot, although mostly with Amazon. Using Shipt has been a disaster almost every time we've tried to use it. The stores' inventory systems are simply not good enough to keep track of what they actually have, so almost every time we've used it I've had to go to store anyways.

I know a lot of people use those delivery services, though. I don't understand how they do it without always running into missing items.

They DO have missing items, but they do it anyway and they don't make trips into the store because they "need this item for a recipe." They understand that wants are not needs and their kids won't die of starvation if they have to make a simpler or an alternate dinner than they'd planned. They make do, because they are responsible and we are in a pandemic

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t care about the unmasked asd kid but I don’t understand why grocery delivery doesn’t work. It has worked fine for us the whole pandemic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is a microcosm of society. Appreciate it when you meet kind ppl Op. It doesn't get easier but you'll get tougher and even develop a sense of humor (I explained to one person that the only way to get mu kid to mask is to tie him up and gag him, but my pediatrician frowns upon my doing this and suggested gentler parenting methods.)

Telling her not to bring her unmasked toddler into stores during a pandemic because she refuses to be inconvenienced by pickup, delivery and planning ahead is not "unkind." Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is a microcosm of society. Appreciate it when you meet kind ppl Op. It doesn't get easier but you'll get tougher and even develop a sense of humor (I explained to one person that the only way to get mu kid to mask is to tie him up and gag him, but my pediatrician frowns upon my doing this and suggested gentler parenting methods.)

I am kind. I work in a grocery store and have a newborn and mom over 65 at home. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t bring an unmasked child to the grocery store. I don’t want to get sick and pass it on to my mom, husband or baby. We have people we love and want to stay healthy, too.

This. Essential workers have to be in public. Leaving your unmasked child at home is the least you can do for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, ADA type allowances have clauses where an exception doesn’t have to be made for someone’s disability if that exception will put someone else in harms way. So a store could make you leave, even if your child won’t wear a mask. I would not bring him because that will happen eventually to you, and it will be upsetting to both of you.

Also- your son is having in home therapy sessions so he is being exposed to people, indoors, outside of his family. He could easily be an asymptomatic covid carrier. It’s irresponsible to bring him unmasked into a store. If you said neither of you ever left the house or socialized with anyone , indoors or out, I’d be more on your side, but what you are contemplating doing is dangerous for your community.

I'm less concerned about store employees. The MoCo order includes an exception for kids that can't developmentally wear a mask, and I think the major stores (Target, grocery stores) have policies that are no more restrictive than the county (e.g., Target includes a similar exception with their mask policy).

So I'm more looking for things I can reasonably do to try to make other customers more comfortable, while also recognizing I have a right to be there with my child, too.

OP, you do not have a right to be in a store with a maskless child during the pandemic anymore than you have the right to drive with him without a seatbelt/car seat.

Please make arrangements to do what you have to do without him. A sitter IS in the cards for you.

Actually, by the letter of the law, she has the right to be. She has a special needs child. There are exceptions for special needs and disabilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I'm sorry to see this. He's a little kid and I don't think anyone would say anything. Also, if you're wearing a mask - it would appear that you'd have a good reason for your child not to be wearing one. No 'normal' parent would mask themselves and not their child. I would just assume he won't/can't wear one.

I agree with PP's that you do need a break, though. If you can find safe and reliable childcare.

Child care would be great, but not really in the cards for us. All we could really do would be hiring a neighborhood kid, and I figure that's substantially more dangerous than just bringing the kid along. PRe-COVID we had friends that would have helped in situations like these, but they're all on lockdown now.

We really have been trying to work with the therapists for months to get him to wear a mask. No luck. We can't even get him to wear a hat when it's cold.

If you have a partner at home, I’d do the errands on the weekends/evenings and leave kid with them (or have partner go). Or just pay a little extra for grocery delivery, or hire someone to do your errands.

Yeah, all these “we” references suggest you have a partner. Do not bring your kid on errands with or without a mask but especially without. If you are not a single parent, there is NO reason to do this right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you running errands right now? Amazon prime should be your best friend. Target delivers free for orders $35 and up. And many places are going back to doing curbside. Our kids have not been on a single errand with us since last March! Either one of us stays home, but most delivered or curbside. Even prescriptions can be brought out to the car.

We do that a lot, although mostly with Amazon. Using Shipt has been a disaster almost every time we've tried to use it. The stores' inventory systems are simply not good enough to keep track of what they actually have, so almost every time we've used it I've had to go to store anyways.

I know a lot of people use those delivery services, though. I don't understand how they do it without always running into missing items.

They DO have missing items, but they do it anyway and they don't make trips into the store because they "need this item for a recipe." They understand that wants are not needs and their kids won't die of starvation if they have to make a simpler or an alternate dinner than they'd planned. They make do, because they are responsible and we are in a pandemic

NP. A lot of missing items are essential - not something someone can just make another recipe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op these people are nuts.
My SN son wears a mask, but if he didn't I would just take him to the store when I needed to. There's a mask exception for those with developmental disabilities for a reason.

DCUM is full of hysterics.

I completely agree. There are reasons for the very small number of exemptions. I wouldn’t look twice at a young kid without a mask to gauge whether they were 2 or 3.

And I 💯 support masks. My kids wear them except the baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is a microcosm of society. Appreciate it when you meet kind ppl Op. It doesn't get easier but you'll get tougher and even develop a sense of humor (I explained to one person that the only way to get mu kid to mask is to tie him up and gag him, but my pediatrician frowns upon my doing this and suggested gentler parenting methods.)

I am kind. I work in a grocery store and have a newborn and mom over 65 at home. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t bring an unmasked child to the grocery store. I don’t want to get sick and pass it on to my mom, husband or baby. We have people we love and want to stay healthy, too.

Thank you for saying this. No one cares about us anymore. I had a kid come into my urgent care for an ongoing issue (think: an eczema flare that had been present for 5 months, and was very mild, on a 12 year old. Similar to that.). They said they were coming in because they wanted to use their HSA before New Years. Just wanted a refill on their medication, and said their doctor hadn’t answered the phone that day. Zero respect for the risks we take every day, zero respect for exposing me to a potential covid carrier for literally no reason. Just wasting time, bored.



This. Essential workers have to be in public. Leaving your unmasked child at home is the least you can do for them.

[Anonymous]

Has OP come back to explain why her partner can't watch the child long enough for a grocery shopping trip?

I'm a single parent (100%, since everyone always nitpicks) and have managed to go in-person shopping maybe twice since the beginning of the pandemic. Everything else has been delivered, and if they don't have exactly what I need, I'm a flexible enough cook to make it work.

Where is the dad/other mom in all of this?

[Anonymous]

My husband does all the grocery shopping now since my special needs 3 yo won’t always keep his mask on. I suppose if I was single, I would just bring him with me super early in the morning and shop as quickly as I could. I’m sure people would assume he’s 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has OP come back to explain why her partner can't watch the child long enough for a grocery shopping trip?

I'm a single parent (100%, since everyone always nitpicks) and have managed to go in-person shopping maybe twice since the beginning of the pandemic. Everything else has been delivered, and if they don't have exactly what I need, I'm a flexible enough cook to make it work.

Where is the dad/other mom in all of this?

OP is refusing to answer about the other parent. And a few pages ago decided to sprinkle some other cagey details when asked about their age and medical status. In other words, OP is a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with moderate autism who is 4. Same situation.

I get tons of grief. I am considering getting him a t shirt that says "special needs" on one side and "i tested negative to covid yesterday did you?" On the other.

So don't do it unless you can handle random people yelling at you. They will and do.

One helpful thing for me is my child hates shoes and socks . if I don't fight it he will come not wearing those either. Anyone who complains about the mask, i say, yeah he's special needs i can't get him to wear shoes either.

Don't shame your child like that.

[Anonymous]

COVID is serious and kids can catch it. Leave the child home with the other parent and go at night or order online. The risk to your child is my bigger concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you running errands right now? Amazon prime should be your best friend. Target delivers free for orders $35 and up. And many places are going back to doing curbside. Our kids have not been on a single errand with us since last March! Either one of us stays home, but most delivered or curbside. Even prescriptions can be brought out to the car.

We do that a lot, although mostly with Amazon. Using Shipt has been a disaster almost every time we've tried to use it. The stores' inventory systems are simply not good enough to keep track of what they actually have, so almost every time we've used it I've had to go to store anyways.

I know a lot of people use those delivery services, though. I don't understand how they do it without always running into missing items.

They DO have missing items, but they do it anyway and they don't make trips into the store because they "need this item for a recipe." They understand that wants are not needs and their kids won't die of starvation if they have to make a simpler or an alternate dinner than they'd planned. They make do, because they are responsible and we are in a pandemic

NP. A lot of missing items are essential - not something someone can just make another recipe.

SO EAT SOMETHING ELSE. If it's truly essential where you wil live or die without it (what? baby formula? diapers?) plan AHEAD and make large online orders.

None of this is an excuse to be taking an unmasked toddler into stores for her convenience, *especially* when she keeps saying "we." She doesn't have to do it. She WANTS to. Absurd.