Snack policy with tweens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 11 yo is a skinny active-ish (since the pandemic) boy, and has had free reign of the kitchen since he could reach what he wanted. I can't imagine him asking permission for snacks now or even for the past few years!

He often chooses fruit or salty snacks, but also sodas and sweets and chips. Sounds like that would NOT fly in your house, but I really think you need to find a way to let your kids eat when they are hungry and choose what they want to eat. Tweens need some independence with this, because their nutritional needs are different than ours and vary from week to week. Girls, especially, need to not have their food intake and type monitored. If you are concerned about what they eat, control what you buy and model good behavior, but the 9 and 11 yo need to get their own snacks!

Mine too. He needs any calories he can get and we have basically no rules about it. I can't even really relate to the need for rules on this.

Same. Sometimes I shake my head when I wake up and see an entire container of something in the trash that my thirteen year old boy devoured the evening before while doing homework. He’s still skinny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve always wondered who has chips and cookies around the house all the time. I thought only tv families did that. Like does anyone have an actual cookie jar?

I don’t have a jar but we always have chips ahoy soft baked cookies and several cans of Pringle’s and milanos at any given time 24/7. Why not? We otherwise are healthy and exercise regularly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boys are 11 and 13. They must ask before eating anything. I usually say yes but they don’t just go and grab an apple or cookie. Typically they say I’m hungry what can I Gabe or what do we have and I’ll say do you want strawberries and they say yes. Then I get them the food.

Unless your boys are handicapped, why can they not get their own food?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve always wondered who has chips and cookies around the house all the time. I thought only tv families did that. Like does anyone have an actual cookie jar?

Aww we had one growing up, it said "cookies" on it and everything. Usually had Chips Ahoy or Pecan Sandies as I recall. Not something in my house now though, though nothing would make my ds happier.

[Anonymous]

After reading this thread, I know realize my mom was mentally ill. I also have tons of issues with body image and food regulation!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if issues like this lead to the many "how do I find pants with a 24 inch waist and 34 inseam" threads. My sister controlled her son's food intake and he was never allowed to eat more as he got older. He was 6'2 and 120 pounds (also had constipation issues). You can't feed a growing kid as if they are a 40 year woman who is on a permanently calorie restricted diet.

My DD worked at a Sweetgreen and saw a mom go ballistic when her kid asked for strawberries on a salad because he was going to have fruit later.

OP here . I definitely mentioned nothing about restricting the amount they eat. They eat massive meals when hungry. Plate and plates of lasagna, bowls of oatmeal, my son will put back two or three of those little raspberry packs in a matter of minutes. They are very well fed nourished kids, and we never restrict how much they eat at meals. But we have always had rules about when they can snack and actively guides food choices. I was looking for advice on increasing g independent on this matter while considering other issues and teaching them food habits. All you people coming out streaming and calling me mentally ill and imagining I’m starving my kids. WTF

OP, I think people are responding to this, and you reporting in your OP the way you micromanage snack choices for children who are not 3 year olds. Just buy a variety snack food that you are ok with them eating and then let them have free access to it. That is how they will learn to regulate. I mean, yes, it is kind of rude to the person cooking to have a huge snack right before a meal that ruins your appetite, but other than that, let them figure it out. If they eat too many crackers, buy less. If they are too lazy to wash fruit, get bananas and clementines, or have a bowl of washed fruit sitting out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boys are 11 and 13. They must ask before eating anything. I usually say yes but they don’t just go and grab an apple or cookie. Typically they say I’m hungry what can I Gabe or what do we have and I’ll say do you want strawberries and they say yes. Then I get them the food.

They can't get their own strawberries at 11 and 13? Or grab an Apple?

Op, our only rules were no snacks close to dinner., and don't hog the cookies or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve always wondered who has chips and cookies around the house all the time. I thought only tv families did that. Like does anyone have an actual cookie jar?

There are chips in our pantry most of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys are 11 and 13. They must ask before eating anything. I usually say yes but they don’t just go and grab an apple or cookie. Typically they say I’m hungry what can I Gabe or what do we have and I’ll say do you want strawberries and they say yes. Then I get them the food.

Why can’t they eat what they want? When they want? Are they overweight?

They pretty much can eat what they want when they want they just need to ask .they don’t get food on their own, never have. No they aren’t over weight they are very skinny.

Why? Why do they need to ask?

Because I give them the food, they don’t get it on their own . They don’t like doing chores and want to be catered to.

Lord...the monsters you are creating. Your kids can’t even get a piece of fruit? Their love lives will be...interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cracking up at how many of you think a granola bar is junk food.

Granola bars (like the Nature Valley kind) are junk food - not the junkiest, but they are junk food. And I’m someone who has kids that eats cookies every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cracking up at how many of you think a granola bar is junk food.

I mean, it is. I have them in my pantry all the time because they taste good and they’re convenient, but I haven’t deluded myself into thinking they’re actually healthful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids — 11, 9 & 6. When they were all young we established a routine where they ate only at designated meals or snacks, and we decided what was on offer. Snack depends on what other foods we’re having that day. So if we’re having pizza at dinner we don’t serve cheese and crackers at snack, but maybe would have apples and peanut butter or a trail mix. If breakfast was sugary we don’t have a sugary snack like granola bar or sweet yogurt. We might have grapes, string cheese and popcorn instead. I’ve been thinking for awhile the older two are getting old enough that we should start trusting them to grab snacks on their own and make decent choices. But we’ve been stuck in our old routine because I’m too busy to rethink much right now. So now in the last couple weeks we can tell someone is sneaking food — mostly sweets like snack bars and granola bars. How would you approach this? I’m thinking something like “ hey guys, we can tell you’re growing and getting hungrier and also want more choice in when to grab snacks and what to have” ... but then what’s the new rule? We don’t want them to fill up on snack food before dinner on the one hand. But on the other hand, being strict about it seems to be backfiring. Yo complicate matters, one of the older boys has had substantial constipation problems and is weaning off miralax. I Have stressed to him he must be limited with things like crackers, cheese, and sweet treats because they constipate, but he’s also a growing boy and I can’t just feed him raisins, blueberries, and salad. Help! What are your snacking rules? How much control do you have over your kids ages 9-10 and up in terms of food choices?

It’s that a “policy” seems weird as kids get older. You have to raise kids to do the right/smart thing around food and everything else. This is the same for media/screens. Good luck, OP. Be flexible and trust your kids.

[Anonymous]

The fact that op wrote "But he is a growing boy and I can't just feed him raisins, blueberries and salad" tells us all we need to know.
That is her first choice of snacks for a growing tween or heck for his younger brothers.
Yet, she keeps protesting that people here are aholes and that she is not disordered.

[Anonymous]

I just reread OPs post and I agree with the PPs who think she’s a little out there with the food control. You shouldn’t be monitoring so closely, OP. It sounds a little weird. Have good food in the house but also some snacking food and let go what happens between meals so long as they eat reasonable amounts of the main meals. Growing kids need a ton of food- especially teen boys. My 15 year old son eats a warm up bowl of cereal before dinner. And then eats a giant dinner. And then a bowl within an hour after dinner. It’s crazy. And from what I understand completely normal.

[Anonymous]

For other parents of 10 - 13 year old boys, are you really finding that if you let your kids snack, they don't come to meals hungry?

This was a concern for me when my kids were little, but honestly, I think that my 10 and 13 year olds could eat an entire meal at 6 p.m. and if I served a second meal at 7:00 they'd eat just the same.