Snack policy with tweens?

[Anonymous]

1 tiny 10 year old. I have a box of snacks in the kitchen. She is basically welcome to help herself to any food in the house. By that age, I think it's a good life skill for them to be fixing the snack and then cleaning up themselves. OP, I think you do sound overly focused and micromanaging snacks. It's fine to balance the week not the day. For your older kid, they should be recognizing and following their own cues and learning from natural consequences (if I eat a ton of dairy in one day I feel bad or if I eat a ton of sugar I get a headache). I grew up in a home where food was very restricted and suffered from strange and disordered eating for years after leaving home. My kid who has control over her choices chooses to eat lots of healthy food and some treats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm impressed by these tweens/teens who apparently can self-regulate. Mine would blow through the snacks, meant for a week-10 days, in a day or two.*

We do have mostly healthy stuff, but I also buy snacky, not healthy stuff meant for a once/day treat. A bag of chips with lunch, for example. I could just say, ok, well, if you eat it then it's gone, but I've got two kids, and one would eat mostly everything junky very quickly and the other would complain.

*Honestly, their dad does the same thing, and it irritates me to no end. I have to tell him explicitly - these are for the kids' lunches, DON'T EAT THEM! Because of course, he doesn't replace or tell me when the snack bag is low, so I'm running around trying to find a replacement because I have one bag of chips and both kids want them --> bickering.

OP, I tell my kids they can have fruit whenever they want, they can make a sandwich whenever they want so long as they are done eating by 4 pm (hate cooking when people just ate two sandwiches). But other than that, snacks require permission.

I’m one of the parents who lets their kids eat whatever they want, and as somebody whose stepmom had major food hangups (she was obese) and limited us to a bowl of cereal a day and put literal locks on lunch snack foods, I grew up really resenting restrictions. My kids blow through lunch snack stuff too but I just let it go because I don’t want the impacts of food restrictions in the house. When it comes to one of my kids eating the other kid’s snacks, I do have to put my foot down there.

I’m not saying you’ll give your kids hangups, I’m just saying that when I say we don’t have food restrictions, it’s not like my kids are immune to the temptations of easily accessible junk food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm impressed by these tweens/teens who apparently can self-regulate. Mine would blow through the snacks, meant for a week-10 days, in a day or two.*

We do have mostly healthy stuff, but I also buy snacky, not healthy stuff meant for a once/day treat. A bag of chips with lunch, for example. I could just say, ok, well, if you eat it then it's gone, but I've got two kids, and one would eat mostly everything junky very quickly and the other would complain.

*Honestly, their dad does the same thing, and it irritates me to no end. I have to tell him explicitly - these are for the kids' lunches, DON'T EAT THEM! Because of course, he doesn't replace or tell me when the snack bag is low, so I'm running around trying to find a replacement because I have one bag of chips and both kids want them --> bickering.

OP, I tell my kids they can have fruit whenever they want, they can make a sandwich whenever they want so long as they are done eating by 4 pm (hate cooking when people just ate two sandwiches). But other than that, snacks require permission.

Are you teens and your DH overweight? Obese? If they are not, why do you think your kids can't self regulate? I mean, honestly? I understand if they are very overweight, but if they are not, how do you know what is meant for 10 days?

[Anonymous]

mine are 9, 12, and 14. I can't remember the last time I served anyone a snack. They help themselves to whatever they want. Seriously cannot believe how crazy some of you are. Fixing strawberries for a 13 year old? That's BIZARRE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys are 11 and 13. They must ask before eating anything. I usually say yes but they don’t just go and grab an apple or cookie. Typically they say I’m hungry what can I Gabe or what do we have and I’ll say do you want strawberries and they say yes. Then I get them the food.

Why can’t they eat what they want? When they want? Are they overweight?

They pretty much can eat what they want when they want they just need to ask .they don’t get food on their own, never have. No they aren’t over weight they are very skinny.

Why? Why do they need to ask?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm impressed by these tweens/teens who apparently can self-regulate. Mine would blow through the snacks, meant for a week-10 days, in a day or two.*

We do have mostly healthy stuff, but I also buy snacky, not healthy stuff meant for a once/day treat. A bag of chips with lunch, for example. I could just say, ok, well, if you eat it then it's gone, but I've got two kids, and one would eat mostly everything junky very quickly and the other would complain.

*Honestly, their dad does the same thing, and it irritates me to no end. I have to tell him explicitly - these are for the kids' lunches, DON'T EAT THEM! Because of course, he doesn't replace or tell me when the snack bag is low, so I'm running around trying to find a replacement because I have one bag of chips and both kids want them --> bickering.

OP, I tell my kids they can have fruit whenever they want, they can make a sandwich whenever they want so long as they are done eating by 4 pm (hate cooking when people just ate two sandwiches). But other than that, snacks require permission.

Are you teens and your DH overweight? Obese? If they are not, why do you think your kids can't self regulate? I mean, honestly? I understand if they are very overweight, but if they are not, how do you know what is meant for 10 days?

My tweens are not obese but my DH is. He eats constantly and has never passed a 7-11 that he doesn't want to enter. I know that it is meant for 10 days because I bought it and I intended it to last for 10 days. For example, if I buy 20 of those snack bags of chips, I am intending to give each of my two kids one bag per day = 20 days. I do not expect the three of them to eat it in 1-2 days. My DH would blow through 4-5 of those at a time, because they are single-serve bags so he thinks they are just a taste.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm impressed by these tweens/teens who apparently can self-regulate. Mine would blow through the snacks, meant for a week-10 days, in a day or two.*

We do have mostly healthy stuff, but I also buy snacky, not healthy stuff meant for a once/day treat. A bag of chips with lunch, for example. I could just say, ok, well, if you eat it then it's gone, but I've got two kids, and one would eat mostly everything junky very quickly and the other would complain.

*Honestly, their dad does the same thing, and it irritates me to no end. I have to tell him explicitly - these are for the kids' lunches, DON'T EAT THEM! Because of course, he doesn't replace or tell me when the snack bag is low, so I'm running around trying to find a replacement because I have one bag of chips and both kids want them --> bickering.

OP, I tell my kids they can have fruit whenever they want, they can make a sandwich whenever they want so long as they are done eating by 4 pm (hate cooking when people just ate two sandwiches). But other than that, snacks require permission.

Are you teens and your DH overweight? Obese? If they are not, why do you think your kids can't self regulate? I mean, honestly? I understand if they are very overweight, but if they are not, how do you know what is meant for 10 days?

Meant to say, 20 bags = 10 days.

My tweens are not obese but my DH is. He eats constantly and has never passed a 7-11 that he doesn't want to enter. I know that it is meant for 10 days because I bought it and I intended it to last for 10 days. For example, if I buy 20 of those snack bags of chips, I am intending to give each of my two kids one bag per day = 20 days. I do not expect the three of them to eat it in 1-2 days. My DH would blow through 4-5 of those at a time, because they are single-serve bags so he thinks they are just a taste.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm impressed by these tweens/teens who apparently can self-regulate. Mine would blow through the snacks, meant for a week-10 days, in a day or two.*

We do have mostly healthy stuff, but I also buy snacky, not healthy stuff meant for a once/day treat. A bag of chips with lunch, for example. I could just say, ok, well, if you eat it then it's gone, but I've got two kids, and one would eat mostly everything junky very quickly and the other would complain.

*Honestly, their dad does the same thing, and it irritates me to no end. I have to tell him explicitly - these are for the kids' lunches, DON'T EAT THEM! Because of course, he doesn't replace or tell me when the snack bag is low, so I'm running around trying to find a replacement because I have one bag of chips and both kids want them --> bickering.

OP, I tell my kids they can have fruit whenever they want, they can make a sandwich whenever they want so long as they are done eating by 4 pm (hate cooking when people just ate two sandwiches). But other than that, snacks require permission.

Are you teens and your DH overweight? Obese? If they are not, why do you think your kids can't self regulate? I mean, honestly? I understand if they are very overweight, but if they are not, how do you know what is meant for 10 days?

My tweens are not obese but my DH is. He eats constantly and has never passed a 7-11 that he doesn't want to enter. I know that it is meant for 10 days because I bought it and I intended it to last for 10 days. For example, if I buy 20 of those snack bags of chips, I am intending to give each of my two kids one bag per day = 20 days. I do not expect the three of them to eat it in 1-2 days. My DH would blow through 4-5 of those at a time, because they are single-serve bags so he thinks they are just a taste.

One single-serve bag of chips.... per tween.
Your dh aside, you meant it for 10 days, so it is supposed to be for 10 days. In other words, your meals and snacks are controlled by you, your kids see snacks as some thing to crave, you are creating obese kids, yes, not your DH, you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:mine are 9, 12, and 14. I can't remember the last time I served anyone a snack. They help themselves to whatever they want. Seriously cannot believe how crazy some of you are. Fixing strawberries for a 13 year old? That's BIZARRE.

I am also finding this thread extremely disturbing. I think these pps are mentally ill. As is op! Poor kids. notice that so far none has come out to say her kids are obese or even overweight? And one wrote that her kids HAVE to ask her before eating. JHC!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys are 11 and 13. They must ask before eating anything. I usually say yes but they don’t just go and grab an apple or cookie. Typically they say I’m hungry what can I Gabe or what do we have and I’ll say do you want strawberries and they say yes. Then I get them the food.

Why can’t they eat what they want? When they want? Are they overweight?

They pretty much can eat what they want when they want they just need to ask .they don’t get food on their own, never have. No they aren’t over weight they are very skinny.

Why? Why do they need to ask?

Because I give them the food, they don’t get it on their own . They don’t like doing chores and want to be catered to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys are 11 and 13. They must ask before eating anything. I usually say yes but they don’t just go and grab an apple or cookie. Typically they say I’m hungry what can I Gabe or what do we have and I’ll say do you want strawberries and they say yes. Then I get them the food.

Why can’t they eat what they want? When they want? Are they overweight?

They pretty much can eat what they want when they want they just need to ask .they don’t get food on their own, never have. No they aren’t over weight they are very skinny.

Why? Why do they need to ask?

Because I give them the food, they don’t get it on their own . They don’t like doing chores and want to be catered to.

So, if a kid opened up a pantry and took a bag of chips or a cookie, what would your reaction be? How do you know they do not take a cookie when you are no around?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:mine are 9, 12, and 14. I can't remember the last time I served anyone a snack. They help themselves to whatever they want. Seriously cannot believe how crazy some of you are. Fixing strawberries for a 13 year old? That's BIZARRE.

If I don’t feed them they would starve. I feed them breakfast lunch and dinner. Plus snack. Yes we have a schedule . I’m not a short order cook but I do try and make them happy. One kid wants pancakes the other wants waffles we compromise and I make one that day, the other the next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys are 11 and 13. They must ask before eating anything. I usually say yes but they don’t just go and grab an apple or cookie. Typically they say I’m hungry what can I Gabe or what do we have and I’ll say do you want strawberries and they say yes. Then I get them the food.

Why can’t they eat what they want? When they want? Are they overweight?

They pretty much can eat what they want when they want they just need to ask .they don’t get food on their own, never have. No they aren’t over weight they are very skinny.

Why? Why do they need to ask?

Because I give them the food, they don’t get it on their own . They don’t like doing chores and want to be catered to.

So, if a kid opened up a pantry and took a bag of chips or a cookie, what would your reaction be? How do you know they do not take a cookie when you are no around?

I would be shocked, they have never ever done it. They don’t like doing things for themselves so to them they would see that as extra work . I’m also always around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys are 11 and 13. They must ask before eating anything. I usually say yes but they don’t just go and grab an apple or cookie. Typically they say I’m hungry what can I Gabe or what do we have and I’ll say do you want strawberries and they say yes. Then I get them the food.

Why can’t they eat what they want? When they want? Are they overweight?

They pretty much can eat what they want when they want they just need to ask .they don’t get food on their own, never have. No they aren’t over weight they are very skinny.

Why? Why do they need to ask?

Because I give them the food, they don’t get it on their own . They don’t like doing chores and want to be catered to.

So, if a kid opened up a pantry and took a bag of chips or a cookie, what would your reaction be? How do you know they do not take a cookie when you are no around?

She makes them ask even for an apple . . .

[Anonymous]

OP here. Well dcum never ceases to fulfill my expectation that its 95% a$$holes.

FWIW we don’t prepare all their snacks but we are in the habit of them asking except for fresh fruit and veggies which they can freely have anytime. Other snacks foods, I say no if it’s 5 Pm and we’re eating dinner at 5:30, and I tell them what I think are good snacks for the day. They chop up the apple, serve the peanut butter, grab the yogurt. I’m working and don’t monitor, I just discuss it with them.

For those whose kids have free reign, good for you maybe we’ll try that. But some kids are better at portion control than others, I’ve seen that with plenty of friends kids who are mousy eaters. Mine will fill up so much on snacks that they won’t eat dinner foods — things Which they like When they’re hungry and include nutrition like veggies and proteins. I do also thing almost all kids eat way too much sugar, adults too for that matter, and I dont think it makes me mentally ill to teach older kids to consider that and balance out sugary items for the day. Do you all not teach your kids portioning, considering food groups, etc? Additionally and I know this is unique to us, my kids are prone to severe constipation. We’ve had allergy testing like crazy and there seems to be no cause. But I do admit it’s put me very on guard because I don’t care to keep taking them for X-rays of their intestines and multi year miralax regiments. To those whose kids can fill up o. Cereal and Mac and cheese and potatoes and sandwiches and not get severely co stoppages, lucky you. But for us it’s been quite a stress and unsolvable puzzle.