Snack policy with tweens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a friend growing up who had to ask permission for any snack and any beverage other than water (even milk).

At my house we could fairly freely get snacks. I mean not garbage, I wasn't drinking sodas all day.. but asking permission for a glass of milk or a piece of cheese etc? but I thought it was super weird.

Of course, you did. Because it is super weird, super mentally ill too. Isn't this one of those when you realize... thank God my parents are/were not mentally ill?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys are 11 and 13. They must ask before eating anything. I usually say yes but they don’t just go and grab an apple or cookie. Typically they say I’m hungry what can I Gabe or what do we have and I’ll say do you want strawberries and they say yes. Then I get them the food.

Why can’t they eat what they want? When they want? Are they overweight?

DP. Unlikely. What is most likely is that they ended up with a mentally ill parent.

[Anonymous]

Keep on hand the snacks you want them to eat and then give them freedom to get on their own. If you think they are eating too many granola bars, don’t keep those on hand.

[Anonymous]

The policy is and always has been that if it is in the kitchen, they can eat it. They are required to clean up after themselves and wash any dishes. I don't cook between meals, so, if they want cooked food, one of them will need to cook it.

[Anonymous]

I keep a fruit bowl out on the counter. I have a snack shelf that has crackers, dried fruit, granola bars, nuts. I keep plain yogurt in the fridge. My kid helps himself if he is hungry. I'm working full time from home -- I don't have time to fix him a snack.

Sometimes he brings me a cup of tea if he is making one for himself in the middle of the afternoon.

Child is 11.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You lost me at “sweet yogurt” and “mostly sweets like snack bars and granola bars.” Yogurt and granola bars are fine snacks for kids. As long as they’re not gorging themselves or spoiling their appetites for mealtime, give them a little latitude.

I think that the OP means that they might be eating too many snacks and spoiling their appetites for mealtimes. So what then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I keep a fruit bowl out on the counter. I have a snack shelf that has crackers, dried fruit, granola bars, nuts. I keep plain yogurt in the fridge. My kid helps himself if he is hungry. I'm working full time from home -- I don't have time to fix him a snack.

Sometimes he brings me a cup of tea if he is making one for himself in the middle of the afternoon.

Child is 11.

You have an 11 year old that not only makes himself tea, but makes one for you, too? Granted, it's early yet, but this is the sweetest thing I've read today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys are 11 and 13. They must ask before eating anything. I usually say yes but they don’t just go and grab an apple or cookie. Typically they say I’m hungry what can I Gabe or what do we have and I’ll say do you want strawberries and they say yes. Then I get them the food.

Why can’t they eat what they want? When they want? Are they overweight?

DP. Unlikely. What is most likely is that they ended up with a mentally ill parent.

Or a parent intent on raising hopeless men. This sounds like a recipe for a man to turn out like the guy my MIL is dating. He announces, "I think I'll have breakfast now," and she LEAPS up and fixes him breakfast. He's a 65 year old who can do absolutely nothing for himself. It's gross.

[Anonymous]

I remember being super hungry when growing up abroad. Snack food and processed foods didn't exist. I fried potatoes on a pan several times a day. Too much starch, but better than the sugary snacks.
My kids in US makes himself several sandwiches between meals. Better than the sugary snacks.

[Anonymous]

No rules except that they can’t eat right before dinner. I keep healthy snacks and some sweets in them house and I trust them to give themselves what their bodies tell them they need, when they need it.

I think if you don’t want your kid to eat cheese and crackers, you need to not buy cheese and crackers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep a fruit bowl out on the counter. I have a snack shelf that has crackers, dried fruit, granola bars, nuts. I keep plain yogurt in the fridge. My kid helps himself if he is hungry. I'm working full time from home -- I don't have time to fix him a snack.

Sometimes he brings me a cup of tea if he is making one for himself in the middle of the afternoon.

Child is 11.

You have an 11 year old that not only makes himself tea, but makes one for you, too? Granted, it's early yet, but this is the sweetest thing I've read today.

+1. That’s darling.

[Anonymous]

You've got to start letting some stuff go -- especially with the oldest. If you buy mostly healthy food, you shouldn't worry about it too much. I will sometimes ask my older kids to watch portions -- mostly so that there's enough for everyone for a few days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys are 11 and 13. They must ask before eating anything. I usually say yes but they don’t just go and grab an apple or cookie. Typically they say I’m hungry what can I Gabe or what do we have and I’ll say do you want strawberries and they say yes. Then I get them the food.

Why can’t they eat what they want? When they want? Are they overweight?

They pretty much can eat what they want when they want they just need to ask .they don’t get food on their own, never have. No they aren’t over weight they are very skinny.

[Anonymous]

DCUM never fails to remind me that I’m not the worst parent out there. If you don’t want them to eat crap don’t buy it. Otherwise you are gonna mess these kids up.

[Anonymous]

I'm impressed by these tweens/teens who apparently can self-regulate. Mine would blow through the snacks, meant for a week-10 days, in a day or two.*

We do have mostly healthy stuff, but I also buy snacky, not healthy stuff meant for a once/day treat. A bag of chips with lunch, for example. I could just say, ok, well, if you eat it then it's gone, but I've got two kids, and one would eat mostly everything junky very quickly and the other would complain.

*Honestly, their dad does the same thing, and it irritates me to no end. I have to tell him explicitly - these are for the kids' lunches, DON'T EAT THEM! Because of course, he doesn't replace or tell me when the snack bag is low, so I'm running around trying to find a replacement because I have one bag of chips and both kids want them --> bickering.

OP, I tell my kids they can have fruit whenever they want, they can make a sandwich whenever they want so long as they are done eating by 4 pm (hate cooking when people just ate two sandwiches). But other than that, snacks require permission.