Leaving Husband With Baby For A Week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is not a debate on whether I should go. It's for tips on how to make the week easier for my husband and the baby.

If you can, stock the freezer with some easy-to-prepare meals. Casseroles, lasagna, frozen waffles, frozen convenience stuff from Trader Joe's, etc. Fill the fridge with eggs, sandwich materials (bread, lunch meat, sliced cheese, condiments, lettuce, and tomatoes) and whatever fruits and veggies he likes. A box of granola/energy bars, trail mix, and other easy-to-eat snacks. It doesn't have to be fancy or gourmet, just stuff to make eating easier. Make sure the delivery menus from a few local restaurants are in a handy place. Have laundry done before you go. Sounds like he's a very capable dad.

Or the DH can just go out to the store and buy what he wants to have on hand before OP leaves. I’m sure he’s also capable of looking up delivery menus on line. As others have noted, it’s likely that OP will have the far more onerous task of serving as primary caregiver for a disabled elderly man while still recovering from childbirth and pumping, compared with her DH caring for their infant. If anything he should be the one posting online asking how to support her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you women shock me. It's a week. OP will be gone for a week. it's not like she is leaving for a month. Men leave for a week on business trips and no one says anything. Her child needs his dad just as much as he needs his mom. Her husband sounds like a great dad who will be able to handle things for a week. No need to make OP feel bad.

Seriously. OP, it will be fine. Not easy, not stress-free, but fine. These trolls on here are acting like you're going on vacation.

Dp We aren't trolls if we have a different opinion than you or Op. Most of the women posting are being very respectful and just pointing out that this is a practically new born baby she is leaving during a pandemic! I think it is reasonable for others to point out issues that the op might not have considered. Nobody is calling her names or making her feel that she is a terrible mother but, how would op feel if she got covid and got seriously sick? Or gave it to her father?

To those who mention that we are being sexist and that the father is an equal partner. Equal is not the same and until the father can get pregnant, deliver and breastfeed there are some things the mother can do the father cannot. It is just fact. I wouldn't leave an 8 week old during normal times and certainly not during a pandemic!


the op is free to ignore the advice and do what she wants. But, if you ask for opinions you have to acknowledge that you may get opinions you disagree with. If the dad is so great and op so confident why is she posting her for ideas? Just go and let the Dad be the super parent!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 8 weeks I would not do this. If YOU needed life-saving surgery I would do it, otherwise no. If somebody is dying, they are going to die. Your baby's life has JUST started. They don't have vaccines, they only have the immunity they got from being inside your baby and maybe if you've been nursing. Somebody else can help with the family emergency. You have to prioritize your newborn.

Sorry. I know this sounds harsh and isn't what you want to hear. But it's absolutely what I would do.

I agree with the PP. At eight weeks I’m bringing baby with me, and if it’s an emergency that can’t be handled with a baby in tow, then I am not equipped to help either. Unless one of my other children were in dire circumstances I can’t imagine it.

I'd classify traveling during a pandemic as the bolded. OP you're not just leaving for a week, you're going to have to test and at least partially quarantine when you get back. Hire help for the family.

None of this is because a dad can't or shouldn't solo parent a newborn. It's because coronavirus is tearing through the US like never before. Prioritize your health and your immediate family's health, even if it feels bad to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 8 weeks I would not do this. If YOU needed life-saving surgery I would do it, otherwise no. If somebody is dying, they are going to die. Your baby's life has JUST started. They don't have vaccines, they only have the immunity they got from being inside your baby and maybe if you've been nursing. Somebody else can help with the family emergency. You have to prioritize your newborn.

Sorry. I know this sounds harsh and isn't what you want to hear. But it's absolutely what I would do.

I agree with the PP. At eight weeks I’m bringing baby with me, and if it’s an emergency that can’t be handled with a baby in tow, then I am not equipped to help either. Unless one of my other children were in dire circumstances I can’t imagine it.

I'd classify traveling during a pandemic as the bolded. OP you're not just leaving for a week, you're going to have to test and at least partially quarantine when you get back. Hire help for the family.

None of this is because a dad can't or shouldn't solo parent a newborn. It's because coronavirus is tearing through the US like never before. Prioritize your health and your immediate family's health, even if it feels bad to do so.

Dp pp you hit the nail on the head. I hope op listens to you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you willing to give up breastfeeding and possibly have your baby not recognize you when you get back?

You don’t even have a stake in this. Why are you attempting emotional blackmail?

[Anonymous]

I haven't read all the pages, but the OP's post certainly sounded as though the hesitation on her part was related to leaving her husband to take care of the newborn on his own, and not the logistics of travel during the pandemic.
Assuming she has figured the logistics out, her baby is going to be fine with its father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read all the pages, but the OP's post certainly sounded as though the hesitation on her part was related to leaving her husband to take care of the newborn on his own, and not the logistics of travel during the pandemic.
Assuming she has figured the logistics out, her baby is going to be fine with its father.

Coronavirus doesn't really care about logistics. Are you saying you think there's a particular way to travel that will guarantee not catching an incredibly infections and unprecedentedly widespread virus? Because that's good information to share with the class.

[Anonymous]

OP - did I miss it? Can you explain why you feel so compelled to visit your Dad at this very particular moment in time? Newborn at home and Pandemic numbers spiking?

And if you do decide to forge onward with your visit - what exactly will you do? Somehow you will magically make your Dad feel better, make life easier for a mere 6 nights/7days, and then, poof!, return to the land of the living?
...risking your health and everyone else's around you in the mean time??

If your dad "needs" you so much as you perceive/he claims, then maybe you and your siblings need to hire help, set him up with a case worker, ask for recommendations from his gereontologist or the like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is not a debate on whether I should go. It's for tips on how to make the week easier for my husband and the baby.

If you can, stock the freezer with some easy-to-prepare meals. Casseroles, lasagna, frozen waffles, frozen convenience stuff from Trader Joe's, etc. Fill the fridge with eggs, sandwich materials (bread, lunch meat, sliced cheese, condiments, lettuce, and tomatoes) and whatever fruits and veggies he likes. A box of granola/energy bars, trail mix, and other easy-to-eat snacks. It doesn't have to be fancy or gourmet, just stuff to make eating easier. Make sure the delivery menus from a few local restaurants are in a handy place. Have laundry done before you go. Sounds like he's a very capable dad.

She has an 8-week old baby!! She's supposed to take care of her 8 week old baby AND stock a freezer with food for her husband?????? And have all the laundry done???? That is so ridiculous I can't even handle it.

[Anonymous]

OP--your husband sounds like a great dad and I'm sure he'll be fine. I'd ask him what he thinks might be helpful, and also test (if you haven't already) the feeding plan. Then figure out whether you're going to pump or what.

[Anonymous]

You all will be fine. Don't worry about the naysayers-- even in this day and age, people can be very sexist (possibly because there are still a lot of crappy dads out there), but I'm willing to bet that if you were a dad leaving the kid with a mom, or a mom leaving the kid with their other mom, almost none of these people would be freaking out like this.

It's good of you to be thoughtful about your husband, though-- he and baby will be fine but it's definitely stressful to be the only caretaker 24/7 on your own for a week. Make sure he's stocked on easy/no-prep foods, maybe buy some disposable plates/silverware so he doesn't have to worry about dishes, do the laundry before you go. Consider getting a baby swing if you don't have one already (not safe for sleep, but good for keeping an awake baby calm so he can take a break), and/or a carrier to wear baby, and/or other things that might help him keep baby entertained/calm so he can have some time to do his own thing rather than constantly focusing on baby. If there's anything you can do to improve baby naps/nighttime sleep that you're not already doing (like blackout curtains/paper, white noise, etc) that would be good too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is not a debate on whether I should go. It's for tips on how to make the week easier for my husband and the baby.

If you can, stock the freezer with some easy-to-prepare meals. Casseroles, lasagna, frozen waffles, frozen convenience stuff from Trader Joe's, etc. Fill the fridge with eggs, sandwich materials (bread, lunch meat, sliced cheese, condiments, lettuce, and tomatoes) and whatever fruits and veggies he likes. A box of granola/energy bars, trail mix, and other easy-to-eat snacks. It doesn't have to be fancy or gourmet, just stuff to make eating easier. Make sure the delivery menus from a few local restaurants are in a handy place. Have laundry done before you go. Sounds like he's a very capable dad.

She has an 8-week old baby!! She's supposed to take care of her 8 week old baby AND stock a freezer with food for her husband?????? And have all the laundry done???? That is so ridiculous I can't even handle it.

Why is this ridiculous? Right now they have two adults home full-time with the baby-- while she is gone there will be one-- of course it makes sense to use some extra time now to make things easier for the one who will be with the baby for a week all by themselves. I would say the exact same thing if it was the dad gone for a week. Wouldn't you?

Although actually, this does suggest the good point that OP should ask her husband whether he would rather that she be the one to do that prep work ahead of time while he watches the baby, or vice versa. He might prefer non-babycare tasks for the couple days before she leaves (and that might be nice for both her and baby to get that extra time together before she goes, as well as once she gets back.)

[Anonymous]

OP have you asked your childs pediatrician for their input on whether you would need to quarantine separately for an additional time period after your return from your fathers?

That should have been your first call.

Incredible.

[Anonymous]

OP I’m sorry everyone is being so harsh. Your DH and your baby will be just fine. I had to be on my own with a newborn for 3 days (obviously not a week, but I think I could have done that too!) It was hard but I napped when baby napped and it was just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is not a debate on whether I should go. It's for tips on how to make the week easier for my husband and the baby.

If you can, stock the freezer with some easy-to-prepare meals. Casseroles, lasagna, frozen waffles, frozen convenience stuff from Trader Joe's, etc. Fill the fridge with eggs, sandwich materials (bread, lunch meat, sliced cheese, condiments, lettuce, and tomatoes) and whatever fruits and veggies he likes. A box of granola/energy bars, trail mix, and other easy-to-eat snacks. It doesn't have to be fancy or gourmet, just stuff to make eating easier. Make sure the delivery menus from a few local restaurants are in a handy place. Have laundry done before you go. Sounds like he's a very capable dad.

She has an 8-week old baby!! She's supposed to take care of her 8 week old baby AND stock a freezer with food for her husband?????? And have all the laundry done???? That is so ridiculous I can't even handle it.

Why is this ridiculous? Right now they have two adults home full-time with the baby-- while she is gone there will be one-- of course it makes sense to use some extra time now to make things easier for the one who will be with the baby for a week all by themselves. I would say the exact same thing if it was the dad gone for a week. Wouldn't you?

Although actually, this does suggest the good point that OP should ask her husband whether he would rather that she be the one to do that prep work ahead of time while he watches the baby, or vice versa. He might prefer non-babycare tasks for the couple days before she leaves (and that might be nice for both her and baby to get that extra time together before she goes, as well as once she gets back.)

It's ridiculous because most parents of 8-week-old's still find it hard to manage the day-to-day basics of meals and laundry, let alone stocking up for a week away.