Leaving Husband With Baby For A Week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 8 weeks I would not do this. If YOU needed life-saving surgery I would do it, otherwise no. If somebody is dying, they are going to die. Your baby's life has JUST started. They don't have vaccines, they only have the immunity they got from being inside your baby and maybe if you've been nursing. Somebody else can help with the family emergency. You have to prioritize your newborn.

Sorry. I know this sounds harsh and isn't what you want to hear. But it's absolutely what I would do.

I agree with the PP. At eight weeks I’m bringing baby with me, and if it’s an emergency that can’t be handled with a baby in tow, then I am not equipped to help either. Unless one of my other children were in dire circumstances I can’t imagine it.

I agree. The baby would be coming with me, no question.

It's good that you all view the baby's fathers as equal parents.

FFS.

NP to this thread. Look my husband is a complete partner and in some ways a better parent than I am. That being said an 8 week old is very different than a 4 month old or 6 month old. This baby is a brand new baby. At 8 weeks the mom is also still recovering and healing from childbirth. I would not leave a baby this young. That’s just me. Lots of other people agree. Also a previous poster a few pages back gave some realistic expectations- OP is partially breastfeeding, so she might expect some issues with clogged ducts as she transitions to 100% pumping for a week. She might lose her supply, or baby might not relatch when she returns. I’d none of these things are an issue, that’s fine. But it’s all things to consider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 8 weeks I would not do this. If YOU needed life-saving surgery I would do it, otherwise no. If somebody is dying, they are going to die. Your baby's life has JUST started. They don't have vaccines, they only have the immunity they got from being inside your baby and maybe if you've been nursing. Somebody else can help with the family emergency. You have to prioritize your newborn.

Sorry. I know this sounds harsh and isn't what you want to hear. But it's absolutely what I would do.

I agree with the PP. At eight weeks I’m bringing baby with me, and if it’s an emergency that can’t be handled with a baby in tow, then I am not equipped to help either. Unless one of my other children were in dire circumstances I can’t imagine it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you willing to give up breastfeeding and possibly have your baby not recognize you when you get back?

Jesus christ you women are uneducated cows.

The baby will recognize her and will be just fine. Her breastfeeding relationship may not recover - that’s not a risk I would have taken but I know many women are indifferent to breastfeeding. I would not want to give up breastfeeding for me - for my hormones and my post birth healing. I think feeding formula is perfectly fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you women shock me. It's a week. OP will be gone for a week. it's not like she is leaving for a month. Men leave for a week on business trips and no one says anything. Her child needs his dad just as much as he needs his mom. Her husband sounds like a great dad who will be able to handle things for a week. No need to make OP feel bad.

Seriously. OP, it will be fine. Not easy, not stress-free, but fine. These trolls on here are acting like you're going on vacation.

[Anonymous]

OP, you're worrying about your husband, but you should be worrying about yourself and your baby. Why do you say there's not enough room for a newborn? Bring your baby with you. Or hire another caregiver for your father. I know you said that's not what you want to hear but.... I think its what you need to hear?

[Anonymous]

The mom-shaming is despicable.

Do not presume to know or understand others' life circumstances/family obligations.

The OP was looking for support and advice, not judgment and damnation.

[Anonymous]

I would not leave a baby that young with a man. They dont have the instincts. They can sleep right through a baby crying in the middle of the night. They cant discern the different types of crying. They are prone to frustration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband will be watching our newborn for a week while I go out of town for a family emergency. I'm very nervous about leaving my baby for a week. He will be in great hands with his dad, but I feel bad leaving all the responsibility on my husband. Any tips to help?

Hi OP, Your husband will be great. Things that would be helpful:
- prep/freeze all meals of a week
- get extra burp cloths, towels, clothes for the baby
- get ready to feed formula
- make sure there is alcohol at home

Good luck with everything!

[Anonymous]

I just can’t imagine a parent, however infirm, who would want his or her daughter to leave a newborn to care for them instead. My dad would be horrified. OP, are you sure your father is even on board with this plan?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not leave a baby that young with a man. They dont have the instincts. They can sleep right through a baby crying in the middle of the night. They cant discern the different types of crying. They are prone to frustration.

This is utter crap. Having a uterus doesn’t automatically confer some sort of baby-whispering abilities. Any decent human being can care for a baby.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't because I would get mastitis and that would leave me unable to caregive for my dad. Can you bring both your baby and husband? Or bring your dad to your house? I'm less concerned about your husband not being able to care for your baby than I am about a woman who presumably gave birth 8 weeks ago taking over a challenging caregiving role for a week. You need to take good care of yourself right now!

[Anonymous]

OP, ignore the people (mostly women) telling you your baby will forget you, they would never do it, etc. Plenty of babies are separated from their moms for a period of time as infants for legitimate reasons (the baby is in NICU, the mom had medical complications, etc), and everything is fine. My brother and his DD’s mom were not married and no longer together by the time of his DD’s birth, so they had split custody from the beginning. My niece is now a fantastic young woman! Your husband is a parent, too, and sounds like he is already splitting the parenting response - he can do this. You are a great daughter for being there for your dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is not a debate on whether I should go. It's for tips on how to make the week easier for my husband and the baby.

If you can, stock the freezer with some easy-to-prepare meals. Casseroles, lasagna, frozen waffles, frozen convenience stuff from Trader Joe's, etc. Fill the fridge with eggs, sandwich materials (bread, lunch meat, sliced cheese, condiments, lettuce, and tomatoes) and whatever fruits and veggies he likes. A box of granola/energy bars, trail mix, and other easy-to-eat snacks. It doesn't have to be fancy or gourmet, just stuff to make eating easier. Make sure the delivery menus from a few local restaurants are in a handy place. Have laundry done before you go. Sounds like he's a very capable dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just can’t imagine a parent, however infirm, who would want his or her daughter to leave a newborn to care for them instead. My dad would be horrified. OP, are you sure your father is even on board with this plan?

+1. My dad, who was an equal co-parent with my mother, would not have allowed this if there were breath in his body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not leave a baby that young with a man. They dont have the instincts. They can sleep right through a baby crying in the middle of the night. They cant discern the different types of crying. They are prone to frustration.

What the hell?

I'm sorry your husband sucks. Plenty of men are perfectly capable parents to their children. I am wondering how much of the horror over leaving a baby with his father for a week stems from these posters having shitty husbands.