What percentage of people have the capacity to stay in and excel in a monogamous relationship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is how would you ever truly know if your spouse has been faithful throughout the course of your marriage?

The question is more about whether people have a proclivity for a productive monogamous relationship based on their brain and environment. So if Person A gets married and has no trauma from past relationships related to monogamy and has a brain that favors monogamy, their likelihood of being able to maintain a positive relationship is higher than others who don't have that same brain and environment.

Okay so you break down some of the idiosyncrasies surrounding people presumably incapable of monogamy (serial cheaters, high sex drive freaks, etc)
How is it that so many of them who never stay faithful in relationships magically *SWITCH UP* when they find their special someone and are capable of sustaining a monogamous relationship for years and years despite their infamous history?
What's up with that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is how would you ever truly know if your spouse has been faithful throughout the course of your marriage?

The question is more about whether people have a proclivity for a productive monogamous relationship based on their brain and environment. So if Person A gets married and has no trauma from past relationships related to monogamy and has a brain that favors monogamy, their likelihood of being able to maintain a positive relationship is higher than others who don't have that same brain and environment.

Okay so you break down some of the idiosyncrasies surrounding people presumably incapable of monogamy (serial cheaters, high sex drive freaks, etc)
How is it that so many of them who never stay faithful in relationships magically *SWITCH UP* when they find their special someone and are capable of sustaining a monogamous relationship for years and years despite their infamous history?
What's up with that?

Well there are studies that say infidelity leads to infidelity and so on. Some people I assume grow in their brain and age. Sometimes it is an environment change I assume. Will have to look for some more studies on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is how would you ever truly know if your spouse has been faithful throughout the course of your marriage?

The question is more about whether people have a proclivity for a productive monogamous relationship based on their brain and environment. So if Person A gets married and has no trauma from past relationships related to monogamy and has a brain that favors monogamy, their likelihood of being able to maintain a positive relationship is higher than others who don't have that same brain and environment.

Okay so you break down some of the idiosyncrasies surrounding people presumably incapable of monogamy (serial cheaters, high sex drive freaks, etc)
How is it that so many of them who never stay faithful in relationships magically *SWITCH UP* when they find their special someone and are capable of sustaining a monogamous relationship for years and years despite their infamous history?
What's up with that?

Well there are studies that say infidelity leads to infidelity and so on. Some people I assume grow in their brain and age. Sometimes it is an environment change I assume. Will have to look for some more studies on this.

And do those studies suggest that some people are inherently incapable of sustaining a monogamous relationship?
I seriously doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is how would you ever truly know if your spouse has been faithful throughout the course of your marriage?

The question is more about whether people have a proclivity for a productive monogamous relationship based on their brain and environment. So if Person A gets married and has no trauma from past relationships related to monogamy and has a brain that favors monogamy, their likelihood of being able to maintain a positive relationship is higher than others who don't have that same brain and environment.

Okay so you break down some of the idiosyncrasies surrounding people presumably incapable of monogamy (serial cheaters, high sex drive freaks, etc)
How is it that so many of them who never stay faithful in relationships magically *SWITCH UP* when they find their special someone and are capable of sustaining a monogamous relationship for years and years despite their infamous history?
What's up with that?

Well there are studies that say infidelity leads to infidelity and so on. Some people I assume grow in their brain and age. Sometimes it is an environment change I assume. Will have to look for some more studies on this.

And do those studies suggest that some people are inherently incapable of sustaining a monogamous relationship?
I seriously doubt it.

The ones I've seen just track marriages and divorces and surveys of feelings after relationships

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is how would you ever truly know if your spouse has been faithful throughout the course of your marriage?

The question is more about whether people have a proclivity for a productive monogamous relationship based on their brain and environment. So if Person A gets married and has no trauma from past relationships related to monogamy and has a brain that favors monogamy, their likelihood of being able to maintain a positive relationship is higher than others who don't have that same brain and environment.

Okay so you break down some of the idiosyncrasies surrounding people presumably incapable of monogamy (serial cheaters, high sex drive freaks, etc)
How is it that so many of them who never stay faithful in relationships magically *SWITCH UP* when they find their special someone and are capable of sustaining a monogamous relationship for years and years despite their infamous history?
What's up with that?

Well there are studies that say infidelity leads to infidelity and so on. Some people I assume grow in their brain and age. Sometimes it is an environment change I assume. Will have to look for some more studies on this.

And do those studies suggest that some people are inherently incapable of sustaining a monogamous relationship?
I seriously doubt it.

The ones I've seen just track marriages and divorces and surveys of feelings after relationships

Well tracking marriages and divorces doesn't prove anything. Lots of couples get together remain monogamous and never marry. Lots of people in relationships cheat on a partner habitually - then they break up and move on to someone else 2 months later and miraculously they never look at another man/woman again. What's up with that? I thought they were incapable?

[Anonymous]

^the man gets old and retires his cheating ways. Testosterone dips with age.

[Anonymous]

Give it time...it took 20+ years to cheat on the first spouse...they will do it again with the subsequent spouses...they also only had eyes for one person the first decade or so...and that was in the high and horny good-looking years “20s-30s”. Old man at 45-50, have at him and his lowered T.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^the man gets old and retires his cheating ways. Testosterone dips with age.

No...no...
Happens to men AND WOMEN in their 20's all the time.
They're screwing everyone and anyone they can find behind their partners back and then...


Someone comes along and they magically stop the madness and settle into monogamy.
You people are very narrow minded and very prone to generalizations and stereotypes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^the man gets old and retires his cheating ways. Testosterone dips with age.

No...no...
Happens to men AND WOMEN in their 20's all the time.
They're screwing everyone and anyone they can find behind their partners back and then...


Someone comes along and they magically stop the madness and settle into monogamy.
You people are very narrow minded and very prone to generalizations and stereotypes.

Yes. And then 30 years later man cheats on that woman he gave up all other women for in his 20s and who he was monogamous to for 25 years.

It’s called a midlife crisis. 65% of those formerly loyal 1-women men will succumb in their 50s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^the man gets old and retires his cheating ways. Testosterone dips with age.

No...no...
Happens to men AND WOMEN in their 20's all the time.
They're screwing everyone and anyone they can find behind their partners back and then...


Someone comes along and they magically stop the madness and settle into monogamy.
You people are very narrow minded and very prone to generalizations and stereotypes.

Yes. And then 30 years later man cheats on that woman he gave up all other women for in his 20s and who he was monogamous to for 25 years.

It’s called a midlife crisis. 65% of those formerly loyal 1-women men will succumb in their 50s.

I see you're one of the ones with trauma from past relationships related to monogamy lol.
It's okay - while your experiences may have been less than stellar that doesn't mean human beings in general are inherently incapable of monogamy.
Some people consciously choose not to be...some people make poor unconscious choices that prohibit them from sustaining healthy monogamous relationships...and some people just have the misfortune of not finding "The One" that puts all others to shame.
That doesn't mean people aren't capable of monogamy. Just means their luck and their decisions suck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading these threads makes me wonder why there are so many dysfunctional people who can't do well in relationships. My entire extended family just doesn't have these issues although we each acknowledge we have many faults of our own that we work on daily. We work hard, we save our money, we listen to and forgive others, and we try to be decent Christians and human beings that don't take more than we give and don't overpower anyone. We start and continue relationships with the plan to make it through life with its ups and downs. Is it just our society that offers too many temptations or do people have more mental issues than before? What is the source of the dysfunction? I'm seeing it in friends, in the news. Everywhere.

Are y'all middle or lower class in terms of income? Higher income folks have more opportunity and more temptations, and may think they are entitled to more relationship satisfaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these threads makes me wonder why there are so many dysfunctional people who can't do well in relationships. My entire extended family just doesn't have these issues although we each acknowledge we have many faults of our own that we work on daily. We work hard, we save our money, we listen to and forgive others, and we try to be decent Christians and human beings that don't take more than we give and don't overpower anyone. We start and continue relationships with the plan to make it through life with its ups and downs. Is it just our society that offers too many temptations or do people have more mental issues than before? What is the source of the dysfunction? I'm seeing it in friends, in the news. Everywhere.

Are y'all middle or lower class in terms of income? Higher income folks have more opportunity and more temptations, and may think they are entitled to more relationship satisfaction.

Higher class people don’t use the phrase “y’all”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these threads makes me wonder why there are so many dysfunctional people who can't do well in relationships. My entire extended family just doesn't have these issues although we each acknowledge we have many faults of our own that we work on daily. We work hard, we save our money, we listen to and forgive others, and we try to be decent Christians and human beings that don't take more than we give and don't overpower anyone. We start and continue relationships with the plan to make it through life with its ups and downs. Is it just our society that offers too many temptations or do people have more mental issues than before? What is the source of the dysfunction? I'm seeing it in friends, in the news. Everywhere.

Are y'all middle or lower class in terms of income? Higher income folks have more opportunity and more temptations, and may think they are entitled to more relationship satisfaction.

Higher class people don’t use the phrase “y’all”.