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My husband spends too much money on stupid woodworking projects. Better than therapy I suppose. Every trip to home depot is 200 dollars. |
Alexandria as well |
OP, be careful what you wish for. If she spent her time and money working out, maybe she’d lose a bunch of weight, get super hot, and leave your ass for a younger, hotter, richer dude who ALSO LIKES CRAFTING. Then they would spend all their time in his mansion coating their hot, super-ripped bods in glitter and having insane, acrobatic monkey sex on camera for a community of erotic crafters and making major ducats while you sit alone in your empty, craft-free house. |
This. I’m not into crafting either but for people who are, clearly they enjoy it, and that has value to them. I am not a professional musician but I spend a lot of time and money on my instruments. Who’s to say that’s any better use of time? If the wife is keeping the clutter in her craft room, then who cares. If the real issues are the money and time spent, then set a hobby budget for both of you - and OP, your gym comes out of that - and talk about spending more time together. |
OP again. How is going to the gym a hobby? It’s for health and wellness. And yes, she is 20 lbs over than her usual weight and I’m not afraid to call her out on it. She knows I roll my eyes whenever she comes back with the crap and no, the craft room is where she stores the stuff. The completed crap gets put up on display and it’s just cheap and tacky AF. She crafted a little when we were dating but that was when we kept our finances separate and I don’t think she had the money then to go crazy at Hobby Lobby. Now, she does and I’m considering keeping our finances separate again because she has also max out her credit cards (Continual non-payments while racking up at Hobby Lobby and Michaels). She doesn’t think she spends too much money because she will point to so-and-so or another friend and say “But they spend twice as much as me on the same stuff” and I’ll tease her with “Well, I’m not surprised so-and-so and her husband are separating”. Not making this s*** up! She works from home part time now so that is why she has the free time to go and craft. But no, she won’t go and exercise at all, not even walking with me. I think it’s a combination of the crafts being expensive, stupid, waste of time and the opportunity costs of her crafting becoming a strain on our marriage. |
Going to the gym makes you feel good. Crafting makes her feel good. She works part time. So separate your finances if the money bothers you so much. I'm more disturbed by your attitude. You sound contemptuous of her hobby and tastes. It has nothing to do with the 20 lbs. That's a separate issue, don't mix it up with her hobby. I may not appreciate my husband's craft beer or woodworking, but if it's not making us unable to afford other things, I am polite, respectful, and don't get involved. You don't need to love the stuff she makes. Just say something nice. Maybe try doing some crafting together. You're not superior to her because your interest is gym. |
Team OP. The wife sounds quite stupid to begin with and I’m a wife myself. Who spends hundreds of dollars on worthless paper and glitter? Just shows she’s ditzy and has nothing valuable to contribute to society. |
Stop judging her hobby. You think it's stupid, but she apparently doesn't. Focus on the budget and the clutter. As for the budget -- each of you should have a set amount that you can spend on hobbies, whatever they are -- working out, crafting, building model cars, growing flowers, golfing, whatever. Then you each get to spend it on whatever you want.
The clutter is also a separate issue. Figure out some kind of storage and organization. It might even help her spend less, because she'll be able to see what she already has. |
If OP feels that way, he should divorce his wife. But if he is going to stay with her, then he needs to deal with the contempt. It's toxic to a marriage. If she's such a useless person, why did he marry her? |
Crafting is a perfectly legitimate hobby. There are entire stores to service it - it's that popular. Biglaw lawyers, doctors, therapists... Lots of people do this hobby. You sound contemptuous too. I'm sure you're a joy at parties. |
Crafting is cheaper than therapy. |
It started when I found out someone I really liked and had recently started dating had a crazy scrap booking setup. The long drawn out WTF rolled through my head for 10 minutes when I first saw it. Never again. |
That is totally in the eye of the beholder. My husband treasures spending money on things I find completely wasteful. We each have our thing. Crafting is a great hobby. Maybe ask her to spend less, but goodness there are lots of hobbies that cost a lot of money. My cousin has like 10 guitars? He only plays for himself. My friend loves golf (ugh). Bowling. Gaming - gah! Home renovations. Going to the gym is a hobby. You don’t need a membership to exercise - jog or grab some weights to use at home. That is your choice. I have my own expensive hobby which I won’t mention incase I am pitted. Husband gives me a little grief, but he knows it brings me such joy. I try not to spend money - but it does take a lot of time. |
Did I miss it? Is this border line hoarding as in your wife is buying 15 mason jars, but they sit around. Then the next week she'll go back to the store and buy, say, 20 sewing kits and needle stitch, but again, it just lays around?
Or is this she is truly doing a craft, selling it on FB Marketplace or Etsy? Can you compromise with her - ask her to only buy 2 (or 3 max) mason jars and she if she can craft with it successfully. If so, then buy more. Otherwise, it's over the top. |