Why some kids are happier now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who find the silver lining must’ve had crazy busy lives before. I don’t need a pandemic to spend time with my kids or prioritize family. So no, none of us are happier. We miss our lives.

+1000

You must have little kids.
I don't think we had crazy busy lives before. Our kids were at school 7.5 hours a day and then maybe had choir, soccer practice, or religious Ed that was another 1.5 hours. So, they were getting ready to go to stuff for an hour a day, gone 9 hours a day, then slept 10+ hours at night. Having them home all day is a BIG difference.

I'm one of the PPs. My kids are in elementary school, so not sure if that counts as little in your book or not. Yes, they had school for more hours a day before than they do now, but they loved it, so it's sad that that has been taken away from them. Also, I could work while they were in school, which is a lot harder to do now. Plus, my kids weren't swamped with three activities like choir, soccer practice, and religious Ed. They have one activity that we do jointly and otherwise we spent a ton of time together as a family since both my husband and I are fortunate to have jobs that allow us to be home for breakfasts and dinners every day plus not work on weekends. Before this we did family walks with the dogs, family bike rides, family games, family puzzles, and tons of family meals. We're doing the same now, except that none of us can see our friends, plus a million other things that are worse. We miss our old lives.

I can see that. That sounds miserable. I’m sorry, op. I guess that the benefit of all of those activities is that now my kids know how to sing and play music and pray and play soccer and go to church. So I don’t feel like we are walking the dog and doing puzzles over and over again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ I don’t mean to imply that teens will not have occasional low points when they’re upset about not seeing their friends or missing important occasions. Of course they will, we all do. But they shouldn’t be sitting around smoking weed or playing video games all day. That’s just poor parenting.

Yeah, I was talking about your kid since you are so smug and sanctimonious. My kids are younger and thriving. Did you know that many mental illnesses emerge in teen years? Do you understand that being kn lockdown could be s triggering event? If there are teens suffering right now, it isn't necessarily due to poor parenting or weak coping skills. School and friends are the center of teens' lives. I completely jnderstsnd if they feel lije crap right now.

All right, enjoy your future drugged up teens... guess that’s your expectation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who find the silver lining must’ve had crazy busy lives before. I don’t need a pandemic to spend time with my kids or prioritize family. So no, none of us are happier. We miss our lives.

+1000

Us too. I can’t believe all of these posters don’t miss:

Sharing meals with family and friends at home and at restaurants
Watching their kids participate in their chosen fun activities
Letting their kids have play dates
Shopping in person without a mask

My life was well balanced before, because we made that a priority. Reasonable commutes, not too many time commitments. We were very happy (and we knew it!) and we miss it very much. Especially seeing older relatives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who find the silver lining must’ve had crazy busy lives before. I don’t need a pandemic to spend time with my kids or prioritize family. So no, none of us are happier. We miss our lives.

+1000

Us too. I can’t believe all of these posters don’t miss:

Sharing meals with family and friends at home and at restaurants
Watching their kids participate in their chosen fun activities
Letting their kids have play dates
Shopping in person without a mask

My life was well balanced before, because we made that a priority. Reasonable commutes, not too many time commitments. We were very happy (and we knew it!) and we miss it very much. Especially seeing older relatives.

I miss those things too, but that doesn’t mean I can’t find silver linings in the current situation, or that since I can find the silver lining, my precious life by definition was crazy busy or didn’t find time to be with my kids. I miss seeing my kids play sports but I also enjoy sleeping in for example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who find the silver lining must’ve had crazy busy lives before. I don’t need a pandemic to spend time with my kids or prioritize family. So no, none of us are happier. We miss our lives.

+1000

Us too. I can’t believe all of these posters don’t miss:

Sharing meals with family and friends at home and at restaurants
Watching their kids participate in their chosen fun activities
Letting their kids have play dates
Shopping in person without a mask

My life was well balanced before, because we made that a priority. Reasonable commutes, not too many time commitments. We were very happy (and we knew it!) and we miss it very much. Especially seeing older relatives.

Same.
I can’t complain about quarantine. It’s relaxing. There’s no stress. But, my kids miss their friends. Everything feels a bit lonely! Connecting over zoom or FT just isn’t the same. Plus, every day is the same. I think humans were designed to have new experiences, it’s what brings us joy. It’s how we learn. So...yes...it’s been nice and relaxing...but also boring and lonely, if that makes any sense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ I don’t mean to imply that teens will not have occasional low points when they’re upset about not seeing their friends or missing important occasions. Of course they will, we all do. But they shouldn’t be sitting around smoking weed or playing video games all day. That’s just poor parenting.

Yeah, I was talking about your kid since you are so smug and sanctimonious. My kids are younger and thriving. Did you know that many mental illnesses emerge in teen years? Do you understand that being kn lockdown could be s triggering event? If there are teens suffering right now, it isn't necessarily due to poor parenting or weak coping skills. School and friends are the center of teens' lives. I completely jnderstsnd if they feel lije crap right now.

All right, enjoy your future drugged up teens... guess that’s your expectation.

DP but it’s not an expectation to recognize that there may be negative impacts on teens at this time that go well beyond what loving parenting can address. There is also nothing wrong with appropriate medications for mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seen huge developmental milestones since we pulled the baby out of daycare in early March. Being around him all day has made a hugely beneficial difference in our lives.

I see you are getting some comments trying to refute what you are seeing. There are always some people on DCUM (not all) who can't admit a baby might be better off home with a parent instead of in daycare. You know your baby and you know what's going on with them better than anybody. Obviously it depends on the baby, it depends on the parent, and it depends on the daycare, but in general I totally agree with you that it is likely your baby is doing great in a one on one care situation at home with a loving parent. IN MY OPINION (not trying to start up the mommy wars) this is the ideal environment for most infants and toddlers. Also, it can be the greatest experience for a parent as well. Enjoy it!

Sure you’re not trying to start mommy wars.
Infants don’t know the difference.

Actually you are with that statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who find the silver lining must’ve had crazy busy lives before. I don’t need a pandemic to spend time with my kids or prioritize family. So no, none of us are happier. We miss our lives.

+1000

Us too. I can’t believe all of these posters don’t miss:

Sharing meals with family and friends at home and at restaurants
Watching their kids participate in their chosen fun activities
Letting their kids have play dates
Shopping in person without a mask

My life was well balanced before, because we made that a priority. Reasonable commutes, not too many time commitments. We were very happy (and we knew it!) and we miss it very much. Especially seeing older relatives.

My relatives all live 1000 miles away. Of course I miss them, but we probably only saw them for a few days every month or two. We have only missed one planned visit. I actually “see” them more now than I did before. We all get together on zoom a couple of times a week and chat or do an escape room or something.

Now that seeing someone thousands of miles away takes exactly the same effort as seeing our neighbors, we are spending more time with our extended family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who find the silver lining must’ve had crazy busy lives before. I don’t need a pandemic to spend time with my kids or prioritize family. So no, none of us are happier. We miss our lives.

+1000

Us too. I can’t believe all of these posters don’t miss:

Sharing meals with family and friends at home and at restaurants
Watching their kids participate in their chosen fun activities
Letting their kids have play dates
Shopping in person without a mask

My life was well balanced before, because we made that a priority. Reasonable commutes, not too many time commitments. We were very happy (and we knew it!) and we miss it very much. Especially seeing older relatives.

Well, some of us are able to enjoy the good and not obsess about the bad. So sorry you don’t have that ability!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who find the silver lining must’ve had crazy busy lives before. I don’t need a pandemic to spend time with my kids or prioritize family. So no, none of us are happier. We miss our lives.

+1000

Us too. I can’t believe all of these posters don’t miss:

Sharing meals with family and friends at home and at restaurants
Watching their kids participate in their chosen fun activities
Letting their kids have play dates
Shopping in person without a mask

My life was well balanced before, because we made that a priority. Reasonable commutes, not too many time commitments. We were very happy (and we knew it!) and we miss it very much. Especially seeing older relatives.

Same.
I can’t complain about quarantine. It’s relaxing. There’s no stress. But, my kids miss their friends. Everything feels a bit lonely! Connecting over zoom or FT just isn’t the same. Plus, every day is the same. I think humans were designed to have new experiences, it’s what brings us joy. It’s how we learn. So...yes...it’s been nice and relaxing...but also boring and lonely, if that makes any sense?

Well, the quarantine is a novel experience. One that few living people have had and one that is unlikely to come again. We are making history. (See, that’s called focusing on the good. Try it sometime!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can see there are challenges across all ages!

I think I have it bad because we are introverts, and my only child, 3 yo, is very extroverted. He has made friends with birds on the back deck. "Hey bird! Come back bird!" He stands on a chair and yells at older kids biking through the alley. Yesterday he flung the door open and shouted "I love you!" at the mailman. My DH and I are just not enough for him!

We do zoom calls with his teachers, classmates. Grandparents, cousins. But he is starting to get tired of it-- it was a novelty, but it is not the same, to sing and play games together on the screen vs real life. Better than nothing though.

My little guy had his favorite things taken away-- friends, playground. I know he is enjoying lots of mommy and daddy time but it does not make up the difference.

So my kid's not the only one! He's hanging in there pretty well, and he loves family. But he misses friends, and every person we pass on social distance walks gets a huge smile and greeting. He's made friends with birds, squirrels, worms, and now--Alexa. He says she's his friend. (My kid is 5)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who find the silver lining must’ve had crazy busy lives before. I don’t need a pandemic to spend time with my kids or prioritize family. So no, none of us are happier. We miss our lives.

+1000

Us too. I can’t believe all of these posters don’t miss:

Sharing meals with family and friends at home and at restaurants
Watching their kids participate in their chosen fun activities
Letting their kids have play dates
Shopping in person without a mask

My life was well balanced before, because we made that a priority. Reasonable commutes, not too many time commitments. We were very happy (and we knew it!) and we miss it very much. Especially seeing older relatives.

[i]

It shouldn’t stop you from seeing them. My 70 something year old inlaws are visiting us as we speak and my husband is a physician!

Same.
I can’t complain about quarantine. It’s relaxing. There’s no stress. But, my kids miss their friends. Everything feels a bit lonely! Connecting over zoom or FT just isn’t the same. Plus, every day is the same. I think humans were designed to have new experiences, it’s what brings us joy. It’s how we learn. So...yes...it’s been nice and relaxing...but also boring and lonely, if that makes any sense?

Well, the quarantine is a novel experience. One that few living people have had and one that is unlikely to come again. We are making history. (See, that’s called focusing on the good. Try it sometime!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who find the silver lining must’ve had crazy busy lives before. I don’t need a pandemic to spend time with my kids or prioritize family. So no, none of us are happier. We miss our lives.

+1000

You must have little kids.
I don't think we had crazy busy lives before. Our kids were at school 7.5 hours a day and then maybe had choir, soccer practice, or religious Ed that was another 1.5 hours. So, they were getting ready to go to stuff for an hour a day, gone 9 hours a day, then slept 10+ hours at night. Having them home all day is a BIG difference.

I'm one of the PPs. My kids are in elementary school, so not sure if that counts as little in your book or not. Yes, they had school for more hours a day before than they do now, but they loved it, so it's sad that that has been taken away from them. Also, I could work while they were in school, which is a lot harder to do now. Plus, my kids weren't swamped with three activities like choir, soccer practice, and religious Ed. They have one activity that we do jointly and otherwise we spent a ton of time together as a family since both my husband and I are fortunate to have jobs that allow us to be home for breakfasts and dinners every day plus not work on weekends. Before this we did family walks with the dogs, family bike rides, family games, family puzzles, and tons of family meals. We're doing the same now, except that none of us can see our friends, plus a million other things that are worse. We miss our old lives.

I can see that. That sounds miserable. I’m sorry, op. I guess that the benefit of all of those activities is that now my kids know how to sing and play music and pray and play soccer and go to church. So I don’t feel like we are walking the dog and doing puzzles over and over again.

Funny, my kids also now how to do most of those things. And we aren’t doing the same things over and over again. You sound like you’ve realized your previous life kind of sucked, so I’m sad for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who find the silver lining must’ve had crazy busy lives before. I don’t need a pandemic to spend time with my kids or prioritize family. So no, none of us are happier. We miss our lives.

+1000

You must have little kids.
I don't think we had crazy busy lives before. Our kids were at school 7.5 hours a day and then maybe had choir, soccer practice, or religious Ed that was another 1.5 hours. So, they were getting ready to go to stuff for an hour a day, gone 9 hours a day, then slept 10+ hours at night. Having them home all day is a BIG difference.

I'm one of the PPs. My kids are in elementary school, so not sure if that counts as little in your book or not. Yes, they had school for more hours a day before than they do now, but they loved it, so it's sad that that has been taken away from them. Also, I could work while they were in school, which is a lot harder to do now. Plus, my kids weren't swamped with three activities like choir, soccer practice, and religious Ed. They have one activity that we do jointly and otherwise we spent a ton of time together as a family since both my husband and I are fortunate to have jobs that allow us to be home for breakfasts and dinners every day plus not work on weekends. Before this we did family walks with the dogs, family bike rides, family games, family puzzles, and tons of family meals. We're doing the same now, except that none of us can see our friends, plus a million other things that are worse. We miss our old lives.

I can see that. That sounds miserable. I’m sorry, op. I guess that the benefit of all of those activities is that now my kids know how to sing and play music and pray and play soccer and go to church. So I don’t feel like we are walking the dog and doing puzzles over and over again.

Funny, my kids also now how to do most of those things. And we aren’t doing the same things over and over again. You sound like you’ve realized your previous life kind of sucked, so I’m sad for you.

I thought you were all miserable and doing all the same things you did before? If you know how to play music, then learn something new! Stop being so dependent on other people for your happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who find the silver lining must’ve had crazy busy lives before. I don’t need a pandemic to spend time with my kids or prioritize family. So no, none of us are happier. We miss our lives.

+1000

You must have little kids.
I don't think we had crazy busy lives before. Our kids were at school 7.5 hours a day and then maybe had choir, soccer practice, or religious Ed that was another 1.5 hours. So, they were getting ready to go to stuff for an hour a day, gone 9 hours a day, then slept 10+ hours at night. Having them home all day is a BIG difference.

I'm one of the PPs. My kids are in elementary school, so not sure if that counts as little in your book or not. Yes, they had school for more hours a day before than they do now, but they loved it, so it's sad that that has been taken away from them. Also, I could work while they were in school, which is a lot harder to do now. Plus, my kids weren't swamped with three activities like choir, soccer practice, and religious Ed. They have one activity that we do jointly and otherwise we spent a ton of time together as a family since both my husband and I are fortunate to have jobs that allow us to be home for breakfasts and dinners every day plus not work on weekends. Before this we did family walks with the dogs, family bike rides, family games, family puzzles, and tons of family meals. We're doing the same now, except that none of us can see our friends, plus a million other things that are worse. We miss our old lives.

I can see that. That sounds miserable. I’m sorry, op. I guess that the benefit of all of those activities is that now my kids know how to sing and play music and pray and play soccer and go to church. So I don’t feel like we are walking the dog and doing puzzles over and over again.

Funny, my kids also now how to do most of those things. And we aren’t doing the same things over and over again. You sound like you’ve realized your previous life kind of sucked, so I’m sad for you.

I thought you were all miserable and doing all the same things you did before? If you know how to play music, then learn something new! Stop being so dependent on other people for your happiness.

I agree with you, but that’s the definition of an extrovert. They are the ones who are suffering. Those who are self-sufficient are fine, other than the common problem of working without childcare which just about everyone is facing.