Why some kids are happier now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seen huge developmental milestones since we pulled the baby out of daycare in early March. Being around him all day has made a hugely beneficial difference in our lives.

Babies benefit immensely from having their own “personal” adult caretaker.

x10000

And all the better when that caretaker is a parent!

Just stop with this nonsense. IT IS NOT TRUE.

[Anonymous]

There are some things that totally suck about this situation, but for the most part, we are thriving. My kid is SO happy. She's reading everything in sight and playing as much as she wants. We're all introverts at our house, so that's probably helped a lot. I know we're lucky. I feel so bad for families who are social and need interaction to stay sane. I've always kind of been bummed out that I wasn't more extroverted - that I couldn't just enjoy other people and social situations. I'm seeing it as a gift now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who find the silver lining must’ve had crazy busy lives before. I don’t need a pandemic to spend time with my kids or prioritize family. So no, none of us are happier. We miss our lives.

+1000

[Anonymous]

I thought I was an extrovert but I am absolutely living this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posit: if your kids are absolutely miserable in this situation, and you don’t have actual hardships in your life right now like loss of income or health, then you’ve raised them poorly.

If they are old enough to understand this is a temporary break but still mope around all day depressed, then they are not going to do well in life.

Success requires adaptation, the ability to make the best of things and try to improve what’s wrong or at least withstand it until it can be changed. I can’t imagine these teens who are depressed about a 2-3 month break will do well with the challenges up ahead in college and the workforce.

Yeah, why don't teens have the emotional intelligence that adults have? Parents, you effed up!

It has nothing to do with emotional intelligence and everything to do with the ability to adapt and maintain a positive outlook in the face of adversity, which is a crucial skill in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who find the silver lining must’ve had crazy busy lives before. I don’t need a pandemic to spend time with my kids or prioritize family. So no, none of us are happier. We miss our lives.

OR, they are optimistic people capable of viewing positive things even in adversity.

This, and also the people who no longer have commutes.

[Anonymous]

My middle school kid always had social challenges and struggled to fit in. He doesn't have to try any more, and he doesn't have to feel excluded, so he's happy as a clam. Some kids didn't have a lot of friends to start with, so it's not rubbed in their faces any more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought I was an extrovert but I am absolutely living this.

How are you handling the lack of social interaction in a way that is keeping you happy?

- curious introvert

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My middle school kid always had social challenges and struggled to fit in. He doesn't have to try any more, and he doesn't have to feel excluded, so he's happy as a clam. Some kids didn't have a lot of friends to start with, so it's not rubbed in their faces any more.

This. Such a nice break from the mean kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posit: if your kids are absolutely miserable in this situation, and you don’t have actual hardships in your life right now like loss of income or health, then you’ve raised them poorly.

If they are old enough to understand this is a temporary break but still mope around all day depressed, then they are not going to do well in life.

Success requires adaptation, the ability to make the best of things and try to improve what’s wrong or at least withstand it until it can be changed. I can’t imagine these teens who are depressed about a 2-3 month break will do well with the challenges up ahead in college and the workforce.

Yeah, why don't teens have the emotional intelligence that adults have? Parents, you effed up!

It has nothing to do with emotional intelligence and everything to do with the ability to adapt and maintain a positive outlook in the face of adversity, which is a crucial skill in life.

Which, again, is not fully developed in teens and young adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My middle school kid always had social challenges and struggled to fit in. He doesn't have to try any more, and he doesn't have to feel excluded, so he's happy as a clam. Some kids didn't have a lot of friends to start with, so it's not rubbed in their faces any more.

This. Such a nice break from the mean kids.

I'm the pp, and in our case I don't think the other kids were "mean", he just wasn't thought of when it was time to do something, and he isn't a sporty kid so he didn't have that to connect with either. So he wasn't kicked away from a lunch table, but wasn't necessarily invited to sit down, if that makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My middle school kid always had social challenges and struggled to fit in. He doesn't have to try any more, and he doesn't have to feel excluded, so he's happy as a clam. Some kids didn't have a lot of friends to start with, so it's not rubbed in their faces any more.

This. Such a nice break from the mean kids.

I'm the pp, and in our case I don't think the other kids were "mean", he just wasn't thought of when it was time to do something, and he isn't a sporty kid so he didn't have that to connect with either. So he wasn't kicked away from a lunch table, but wasn't necessarily invited to sit down, if that makes sense.

I get it. We have had that sort of experience too. No fun but manageable. I am talking about harrassment. Hope those kids get their act together and stop being mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ I don’t mean to imply that teens will not have occasional low points when they’re upset about not seeing their friends or missing important occasions. Of course they will, we all do. But they shouldn’t be sitting around smoking weed or playing video games all day. That’s just poor parenting.

Yeah, I was talking about your kid since you are so smug and sanctimonious. My kids are younger and thriving. Did you know that many mental illnesses emerge in teen years? Do you understand that being kn lockdown could be s triggering event? If there are teens suffering right now, it isn't necessarily due to poor parenting or weak coping skills. School and friends are the center of teens' lives. I completely jnderstsnd if they feel lije crap right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who find the silver lining must’ve had crazy busy lives before. I don’t need a pandemic to spend time with my kids or prioritize family. So no, none of us are happier. We miss our lives.

+1000

You must have little kids.
I don't think we had crazy busy lives before. Our kids were at school 7.5 hours a day and then maybe had choir, soccer practice, or religious Ed that was another 1.5 hours. So, they were getting ready to go to stuff for an hour a day, gone 9 hours a day, then slept 10+ hours at night. Having them home all day is a BIG difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who find the silver lining must’ve had crazy busy lives before. I don’t need a pandemic to spend time with my kids or prioritize family. So no, none of us are happier. We miss our lives.

+1000

You must have little kids.
I don't think we had crazy busy lives before. Our kids were at school 7.5 hours a day and then maybe had choir, soccer practice, or religious Ed that was another 1.5 hours. So, they were getting ready to go to stuff for an hour a day, gone 9 hours a day, then slept 10+ hours at night. Having them home all day is a BIG difference.

I'm one of the PPs. My kids are in elementary school, so not sure if that counts as little in your book or not. Yes, they had school for more hours a day before than they do now, but they loved it, so it's sad that that has been taken away from them. Also, I could work while they were in school, which is a lot harder to do now. Plus, my kids weren't swamped with three activities like choir, soccer practice, and religious Ed. They have one activity that we do jointly and otherwise we spent a ton of time together as a family since both my husband and I are fortunate to have jobs that allow us to be home for breakfasts and dinners every day plus not work on weekends. Before this we did family walks with the dogs, family bike rides, family games, family puzzles, and tons of family meals. We're doing the same now, except that none of us can see our friends, plus a million other things that are worse. We miss our old lives.