Why some kids are happier now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is your 13-15 year old kid doing? My son spends all his time playing video games. Interacting with friends Online - but I can’t get him outside he plays club sports when things are normal but without the organization of the team schedule he’s not exercising on his own. And to suggest a walk or a bike ride just doesn’t work with him. The weather has been so beautiful and I feel like my son is missing a season of his life he will never get back. If summer is like this it will be so depressing.

My 15 year old is studying hard, and is so much more relaxed than when he had to wake up early for school. He has time to work out and play video games on school nights, which makes him very happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seen huge developmental milestones since we pulled the baby out of daycare in early March. Being around him all day has made a hugely beneficial difference in our lives.

I see you are getting some comments trying to refute what you are seeing. There are always some people on DCUM (not all) who can't admit a baby might be better off home with a parent instead of in daycare. You know your baby and you know what's going on with them better than anybody. Obviously it depends on the baby, it depends on the parent, and it depends on the daycare, but in general I totally agree with you that it is likely your baby is doing great in a one on one care situation at home with a loving parent. IN MY OPINION (not trying to start up the mommy wars) this is the ideal environment for most infants and toddlers. Also, it can be the greatest experience for a parent as well. Enjoy it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These articles get under my skin. My kids, who are teens, are miserable. They miss their friends, their sports teams, their independence, their special events they were looking forward to (concerts, camps, school events). It's a lot of disappointment. They also have a clear understanding of what's going on in the world, the health risks, the changes, and it scares them.

It's one thing to be a baby to 10 years old and be super excited for no school, be home with lots of homemade food and have parents not too stressed about money who can play board games, dress up, bike ride, hold hands, cuddle and watch Netflix from dawn to dusk. All parents attention all the time. Who wouldn't love that.

Then it's another for adolescents who are normally supposed to be going through the stages of individualization, independence and finding peer groups, being held inside 24/7 under their parents rules, even if it's for their own good and health. They have little to no interaction in person with their peers. They aren't interested in doing puzzles or reading books with their parents, and that doesn't make them bad kids or abnormal. There are other articles about how older kids are expressing anger and rage. Then add into that all the unknown, all the cancellations and the consent corona this and that, it's not all unicorn hunting for them.

For us with older kids, it's been very hard.

My high schooler is very happy right now.

It comes down to whether you can cope with a more isolated lifestyle. We can, because we’re introverts and like peace and quiet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are not happier. They're sad and complaining every day that they miss school, their friends, and their activities. They miss their team sports. And we are not happier now either. I loved my overscheduled, running around, busy life. I loved eating at restaurants, shopping at actual stores, travel, seeing family members. Now I'm a couch potato who feels isolated and alone and i hate that. i also don't like living in fear of coming down with a severe disease--the stress from that is the worst part of this.

If you can manage to get out of your funk and model a more neutral attitude toward the situation (it is what it is, the game of life is always about adapting), I’ll bet your kids wouldn’t be as negative about the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Kindergartner is happier - I always knew we were rushing her too much, she can play barbies now for hours interrupted. My 1st grader is begging for this to be over and desperately misses her friends. I dont know that I think they are playing together better -they are pretty sick of each other and are at each others throats.

More independent- yes. They just climb onto the counters and eat granola bars all day.

Thank you for this! My 3 and 5 year olds vacillate between playing together and being at each others throats. Their periods of cooperation usually include perching on inappropriate surfaces to eat sweets they sneaked and destroying our home and furniture. They used our basement walls and carpet as a painting canvas and dismantled an end table, and I'm so tired and stressed that I don't even care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is asking me if he can be homeschooled.
I am very tempted. I am a single mom so have to work.
He is 10 and has a certain degree of independence.
Maybe that’s doable?

They have online homeschool products. Look at K12.com.

Saying this as a homeschooler (and BTW, k12.com is really good), it is not healthy for kids to be alone all day. Definitely homeschool if you have enough flexibility as I mentioned upthread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are not happier. They're sad and complaining every day that they miss school, their friends, and their activities. They miss their team sports. And we are not happier now either. I loved my overscheduled, running around, busy life. I loved eating at restaurants, shopping at actual stores, travel, seeing family members. Now I'm a couch potato who feels isolated and alone and i hate that. i also don't like living in fear of coming down with a severe disease--the stress from that is the worst part of this.

If you can manage to get out of your funk and model a more neutral attitude toward the situation (it is what it is, the game of life is always about adapting), I’ll bet your kids wouldn’t be as negative about the situation.

So it's all the parents' fault? Brilliant, way to guilt trip and inspire at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are not happier. They're sad and complaining every day that they miss school, their friends, and their activities. They miss their team sports. And we are not happier now either. I loved my overscheduled, running around, busy life. I loved eating at restaurants, shopping at actual stores, travel, seeing family members. Now I'm a couch potato who feels isolated and alone and i hate that. i also don't like living in fear of coming down with a severe disease--the stress from that is the worst part of this.

If you can manage to get out of your funk and model a more neutral attitude toward the situation (it is what it is, the game of life is always about adapting), I’ll bet your kids wouldn’t be as negative about the situation.

So it's all the parents' fault? Brilliant, way to guilt trip and inspire at the same time.

DP. I'd say a good portion of it is perspective. And if you are brooding around the house 24x7 that will influence others. So pretend that you are happier (fake it until you make it), take everyone for a walk, and then see how you feel. Also, look for a gratitude challenge for the whole family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seen huge developmental milestones since we pulled the baby out of daycare in early March. Being around him all day has made a hugely beneficial difference in our lives.

Babies benefit immensely from having their own “personal” adult caretaker.

Having my son in full time daycare since he was 4 mos old (he’s 10yo now) is one of my biggest regrets in life. It was what I thought was right at the time, and not going back to work wasn’t a financial option for me. I’ll always wonder if the challenging parts of my child are due to that decision.

Kids are who they are. You made the best decision you could at the time given your circumstances. You aren't to blame for your child's temperament. 10 is still quite young: you have time to forge the type of relationship you want. Please don't regret a decision you made after giving consideration and weight to your situation at the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is your 13-15 year old kid doing? My son spends all his time playing video games. Interacting with friends Online - but I can’t get him outside he plays club sports when things are normal but without the organization of the team schedule he’s not exercising on his own. And to suggest a walk or a bike ride just doesn’t work with him. The weather has been so beautiful and I feel like my son is missing a season of his life he will never get back. If summer is like this it will be so depressing.

LOL! I could have written this post. DS is 15 and as soon as online classes are done and minimal homework to his standard is done, it’s all online gaming with school friends. Eye rolls if we ask him to take a walk with us - once in 6 weeks!! He does do a little sports training each day - sometimes backyard and sometimes in basement, but never more than 30 minutes. Way less than his normal travel schedule. He loves it b/c he gets all this gaming in with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is your 13-15 year old kid doing? My son spends all his time playing video games. Interacting with friends Online - but I can’t get him outside he plays club sports when things are normal but without the organization of the team schedule he’s not exercising on his own. And to suggest a walk or a bike ride just doesn’t work with him. The weather has been so beautiful and I feel like my son is missing a season of his life he will never get back. If summer is like this it will be so depressing.

LOL! I could have written this post. DS is 15 and as soon as online classes are done and minimal homework to his standard is done, it’s all online gaming with school friends. Eye rolls if we ask him to take a walk with us - once in 6 weeks!! He does do a little sports training each day - sometimes backyard and sometimes in basement, but never more than 30 minutes. Way less than his normal travel schedule. He loves it b/c he gets all this gaming in with friends.

Same with my 16 yr old. He only gets outside to walk the dog every day. But at least that's pretty energetic since we have a big, energetic lab.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is your 13-15 year old kid doing? My son spends all his time playing video games. Interacting with friends Online - but I can’t get him outside he plays club sports when things are normal but without the organization of the team schedule he’s not exercising on his own. And to suggest a walk or a bike ride just doesn’t work with him. The weather has been so beautiful and I feel like my son is missing a season of his life he will never get back. If summer is like this it will be so depressing.

What is going to happen to him when he's a full grown adult and there is no organize sports? I think exercise should be a lifestyle, and if we want our kids to love the outdoors, we find opportunities for them to be out to play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seen huge developmental milestones since we pulled the baby out of daycare in early March. Being around him all day has made a hugely beneficial difference in our lives.

I see you are getting some comments trying to refute what you are seeing. There are always some people on DCUM (not all) who can't admit a baby might be better off home with a parent instead of in daycare. You know your baby and you know what's going on with them better than anybody. Obviously it depends on the baby, it depends on the parent, and it depends on the daycare, but in general I totally agree with you that it is likely your baby is doing great in a one on one care situation at home with a loving parent. IN MY OPINION (not trying to start up the mommy wars) this is the ideal environment for most infants and toddlers. Also, it can be the greatest experience for a parent as well. Enjoy it!

Sure you’re not trying to start mommy wars.
Infants don’t know the difference.

[Anonymous]

As someone who hated school, this would've been a huge relief for me. Was in all the advanced classes, put a lot of pressure on myself, but also did really bad on exams because I clammed up. I also got teased a lot in junior high. Hate all the BS in college and popularity contests. I would've been so happy having something like this happens. To just relax in every single way.

[Anonymous]

Everyone in my family is happier! Kids ages 11 and 12, has and says he is more rested than he has been in years, and I am thrilled at the flexibility of the work from home model. I cry on the inside every time I think about going back to our old life.