Why some kids are happier now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has turned into a weird kind of Olympics where the more you complain now = the happier you were pre-Covid, and the happier you are now = your life sucked pre-Covid. Can we agree that some people are miserable in any situation, and some people can find the silver lining in any situation?

Hahaha! I think this is partly true. I also think this all affects people differently.

My brother and sister in law had an awesome set up pre-covid. They have one kid who was in all day preschool and they live two miles from my parents, who were almost always willing to babysit. They both work full time in jobs that are 40 hours/wk (or a little less), and have flexible hours. They have lost all of the things that made their lives work, their child’s is watching 7-8 hours of television every day, and they are having a really difficult time.

We have five kids ages 5-12. DH works 60-70 hours/wk, and I have a small business where I work part time during school hours. DH is still working his normal hours. When the schools closed, I closed my business except for emergencies that can be handled over the phone. Our kids play well together, and our home is set up for kids. It’s been stressful at times for DH and I, but I like being at home with the kids (do not like being home without them), and my kids are really happy. They miss their friends, but they play a lot, and they enjoy the more relaxed schedule without rushing out the door for school every morning.


All this to say that I think some people are reliant on others to make their lives run smoothly, and those people are having a tough time.

Are you kidding? You just said you’re not working. Your brother and SIL are, so yes, it’s more difficult for them. Your post is gross and your self-congratulations are unwarranted.

I am not kidding. Some people might be miserable in any situation, and some people might be able to find the silver lining. But some people are truly in a miserable situation right now, and some people are not. I am not less miserable than they are because I have a sunny disposition. I have an easier situation. This is affecting everyone differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seen huge developmental milestones since we pulled the baby out of daycare in early March. Being around him all day has made a hugely beneficial difference in our lives.

I do believe that your baby (and you) benefit from being together; however, babies are growing and developing at an amazing rate from birth. Your baby would be hitting these milestones wherever she is: you just happen to be there to see it.

- former nanny, current sahm

+1. Baby milestones aren’t linear, they tend to come in bursts, so you don’t know if these changes are because he’s not in daycare or because this is when his burst would have happened either way.

But is is great for those parents that they have this unique moment be there for all of it. It really is a silver lining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has turned into a weird kind of Olympics where the more you complain now = the happier you were pre-Covid, and the happier you are now = your life sucked pre-Covid. Can we agree that some people are miserable in any situation, and some people can find the silver lining in any situation?

Hahaha! I think this is partly true. I also think this all affects people differently.

My brother and sister in law had an awesome set up pre-covid. They have one kid who was in all day preschool and they live two miles from my parents, who were almost always willing to babysit. They both work full time in jobs that are 40 hours/wk (or a little less), and have flexible hours. They have lost all of the things that made their lives work, their child’s is watching 7-8 hours of television every day, and they are having a really difficult time.

We have five kids ages 5-12. DH works 60-70 hours/wk, and I have a small business where I work part time during school hours. DH is still working his normal hours. When the schools closed, I closed my business except for emergencies that can be handled over the phone. Our kids play well together, and our home is set up for kids. It’s been stressful at times for DH and I, but I like being at home with the kids (do not like being home without them), and my kids are really happy. They miss their friends, but they play a lot, and they enjoy the more relaxed schedule without rushing out the door for school every morning.


All this to say that I think some people are reliant on others to make their lives run smoothly, and those people are having a tough time.

Are you kidding? You just said you’re not working. Your brother and SIL are, so yes, it’s more difficult for them. Your post is gross and your self-congratulations are unwarranted.

I am not kidding. Some people might be miserable in any situation, and some people might be able to find the silver lining. But some people are truly in a miserable situation right now, and some people are not. I am not less miserable than they are because I have a sunny disposition. I have an easier situation. This is affecting everyone differently.

DP. This is the smug mom of five poster. I recognize her. Not really that credible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:because no choice -- this is a charter. We can't go private and it would be even worse at our local public school.

Thinking of moving out of DC but not easy (jobs,...)

I'm always amazed that people work to make a better life for their family but end up putting their children through terrible anxiety because they are in schools they shouldn't be in and no one is around they can rely on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:because no choice -- this is a charter. We can't go private and it would be even worse at our local public school.

Thinking of moving out of DC but not easy (jobs,...)

I'm always amazed that people work to make a better life for their family but end up putting their children through terrible anxiety because they are in schools they shouldn't be in and no one is around they can rely on.

I am always amazed that some people cannot put themselves in other’s shoes and realize not everyone has it as easy as they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has turned into a weird kind of Olympics where the more you complain now = the happier you were pre-Covid, and the happier you are now = your life sucked pre-Covid. Can we agree that some people are miserable in any situation, and some people can find the silver lining in any situation?

Hahaha! I think this is partly true. I also think this all affects people differently.

My brother and sister in law had an awesome set up pre-covid. They have one kid who was in all day preschool and they live two miles from my parents, who were almost always willing to babysit. They both work full time in jobs that are 40 hours/wk (or a little less), and have flexible hours. They have lost all of the things that made their lives work, their child’s is watching 7-8 hours of television every day, and they are having a really difficult time.

We have five kids ages 5-12. DH works 60-70 hours/wk, and I have a small business where I work part time during school hours. DH is still working his normal hours. When the schools closed, I closed my business except for emergencies that can be handled over the phone. Our kids play well together, and our home is set up for kids. It’s been stressful at times for DH and I, but I like being at home with the kids (do not like being home without them), and my kids are really happy. They miss their friends, but they play a lot, and they enjoy the more relaxed schedule without rushing out the door for school every morning.


All this to say that I think some people are reliant on others to make their lives run smoothly, and those people are having a tough time.

Are you kidding? You just said you’re not working. Your brother and SIL are, so yes, it’s more difficult for them. Your post is gross and your self-congratulations are unwarranted.

I am not kidding. Some people might be miserable in any situation, and some people might be able to find the silver lining. But some people are truly in a miserable situation right now, and some people are not. I am not less miserable than they are because I have a sunny disposition. I have an easier situation. This is affecting everyone differently.

DP. This is the smug mom of five poster. I recognize her. Not really that credible.

I'm the "are you kidding?" PP. I thought "smug mom of 5" was the one with adult kids. At least 1 one of those kids was in the military. She talks about it all the time. Glad to know there is a younger SMO5, too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has turned into a weird kind of Olympics where the more you complain now = the happier you were pre-Covid, and the happier you are now = your life sucked pre-Covid. Can we agree that some people are miserable in any situation, and some people can find the silver lining in any situation?

Hahaha! I think this is partly true. I also think this all affects people differently.

My brother and sister in law had an awesome set up pre-covid. They have one kid who was in all day preschool and they live two miles from my parents, who were almost always willing to babysit. They both work full time in jobs that are 40 hours/wk (or a little less), and have flexible hours. They have lost all of the things that made their lives work, their child’s is watching 7-8 hours of television every day, and they are having a really difficult time.

We have five kids ages 5-12. DH works 60-70 hours/wk, and I have a small business where I work part time during school hours. DH is still working his normal hours. When the schools closed, I closed my business except for emergencies that can be handled over the phone. Our kids play well together, and our home is set up for kids. It’s been stressful at times for DH and I, but I like being at home with the kids (do not like being home without them), and my kids are really happy. They miss their friends, but they play a lot, and they enjoy the more relaxed schedule without rushing out the door for school every morning.


All this to say that I think some people are reliant on others to make their lives run smoothly, and those people are having a tough time.

Are you kidding? You just said you’re not working. Your brother and SIL are, so yes, it’s more difficult for them. Your post is gross and your self-congratulations are unwarranted.

Lol, this! She closed up her MLM business and she thinks that makes her superior. Meanwhile, her poor DH working 60-70 hours/week! That’s no way to live...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has turned into a weird kind of Olympics where the more you complain now = the happier you were pre-Covid, and the happier you are now = your life sucked pre-Covid. Can we agree that some people are miserable in any situation, and some people can find the silver lining in any situation?

Hahaha! I think this is partly true. I also think this all affects people differently.

My brother and sister in law had an awesome set up pre-covid. They have one kid who was in all day preschool and they live two miles from my parents, who were almost always willing to babysit. They both work full time in jobs that are 40 hours/wk (or a little less), and have flexible hours. They have lost all of the things that made their lives work, their child’s is watching 7-8 hours of television every day, and they are having a really difficult time.

We have five kids ages 5-12. DH works 60-70 hours/wk, and I have a small business where I work part time during school hours. DH is still working his normal hours. When the schools closed, I closed my business except for emergencies that can be handled over the phone. Our kids play well together, and our home is set up for kids. It’s been stressful at times for DH and I, but I like being at home with the kids (do not like being home without them), and my kids are really happy. They miss their friends, but they play a lot, and they enjoy the more relaxed schedule without rushing out the door for school every morning.


All this to say that I think some people are reliant on others to make their lives run smoothly, and those people are having a tough time.

Are you kidding? You just said you’re not working. Your brother and SIL are, so yes, it’s more difficult for them. Your post is gross and your self-congratulations are unwarranted.

I am not kidding. Some people might be miserable in any situation, and some people might be able to find the silver lining. But some people are truly in a miserable situation right now, and some people are not. I am not less miserable than they are because I have a sunny disposition. I have an easier situation. This is affecting everyone differently.

DP. This is the smug mom of five poster. I recognize her. Not really that credible.

I'm the "are you kidding?" PP. I thought "smug mom of 5" was the one with adult kids. At least 1 one of those kids was in the military. She talks about it all the time. Glad to know there is a younger SMO5, too

There are actually two of them, one with older kids and this one.

Now I should go question my sanity because this fact occupies my brain space.

[Anonymous]

I have one of each.
My 13 year old extrovert misses his friends. He loves sleeping in, but he has said several times that he misses school and being able to see everyone.
My 10 year old introvert is absolutely loving this. He has been so happy and helpful. Many of his nervous habits have disappeared now that he’s not stressing about people.
Both play online with friends.
My husband takes them out once or twice a week to hike, fish, or do work on a local farm. My 10 year old loves helping the farmer out. My 13 year loves getting out of the house.
It really depends on the person if this isolation is *good* or *bad*.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who find the silver lining must’ve had crazy busy lives before. I don’t need a pandemic to spend time with my kids or prioritize family. So no, none of us are happier. We miss our lives.

+1000

Us too. I can’t believe all of these posters don’t miss:

Sharing meals with family and friends at home and at restaurants
Watching their kids participate in their chosen fun activities
Letting their kids have play dates
Shopping in person without a mask

My life was well balanced before, because we made that a priority. Reasonable commutes, not too many time commitments. We were very happy (and we knew it!) and we miss it very much. Especially seeing older relatives.

I miss those things too, but that doesn’t mean I can’t find silver linings in the current situation, or that since I can find the silver lining, my precious life by definition was crazy busy or didn’t find time to be with my kids. I miss seeing my kids play sports but I also enjoy sleeping in for example.

Exactly!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My middle school kid always had social challenges and struggled to fit in. He doesn't have to try any more, and he doesn't have to feel excluded, so he's happy as a clam. Some kids didn't have a lot of friends to start with, so it's not rubbed in their faces any more.

This. Such a nice break from the mean kids.

I'm the pp, and in our case I don't think the other kids were "mean", he just wasn't thought of when it was time to do something, and he isn't a sporty kid so he didn't have that to connect with either. So he wasn't kicked away from a lunch table, but wasn't necessarily invited to sit down, if that makes sense.

I get it. We have had that sort of experience too. No fun but manageable. I am talking about harrassment. Hope those kids get their act together and stop being mean.

My daughter who has a developmental disability and is very aware of it, gets tired of special treatment. The teacher told me a couple of girls try to “mother” her. They are just trying to be nice but my daughter hates being helped. She is determined to do things herself. She has asked to go many places but not once has she asked to go to school. Her speech has improved too. If she wasn’t an only child, I would probably homeschool her but I’m afraid that no socialization would be worse. She does stick up for herself and will tell someone to leave her alone. I have tried to talk to her about her disability a couple of times but she shuts the conversation down immediately. She’s mostly happy a happy kid. The quarantine has made me aware of how much school affects her though. I’ve been really struggling with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:because no choice -- this is a charter. We can't go private and it would be even worse at our local public school.

Thinking of moving out of DC but not easy (jobs,...)

I am the one who asked the question (not the mean follow up poster).
I understand. Apparently in DC even in charters you can’t hide from bad kids.
Still, I urge you to look for solutions. Maybe fight harder and the charter will expel the bully? Or move to a neighborhood where kids are mostly from good homes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My middle school kid always had social challenges and struggled to fit in. He doesn't have to try any more, and he doesn't have to feel excluded, so he's happy as a clam. Some kids didn't have a lot of friends to start with, so it's not rubbed in their faces any more.

This. Such a nice break from the mean kids.

I'm the pp, and in our case I don't think the other kids were "mean", he just wasn't thought of when it was time to do something, and he isn't a sporty kid so he didn't have that to connect with either. So he wasn't kicked away from a lunch table, but wasn't necessarily invited to sit down, if that makes sense.

I get it. We have had that sort of experience too. No fun but manageable. I am talking about harrassment. Hope those kids get their act together and stop being mean.

My daughter who has a developmental disability and is very aware of it, gets tired of special treatment. The teacher told me a couple of girls try to “mother” her. They are just trying to be nice but my daughter hates being helped. She is determined to do things herself. She has asked to go many places but not once has she asked to go to school. Her speech has improved too. If she wasn’t an only child, I would probably homeschool her but I’m afraid that no socialization would be worse. She does stick up for herself and will tell someone to leave her alone. I have tried to talk to her about her disability a couple of times but she shuts the conversation down immediately. She’s mostly happy a happy kid. The quarantine has made me aware of how much school affects her though. I’ve been really struggling with this.

They have a lot of events for homeschoolers. I wouldn’t be concerned about this aspect.

[Anonymous]

Adolescent DS is much better being socially isolated from sources of pot, Juul and alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My middle school kid always had social challenges and struggled to fit in. He doesn't have to try any more, and he doesn't have to feel excluded, so he's happy as a clam. Some kids didn't have a lot of friends to start with, so it's not rubbed in their faces any more.

This. Such a nice break from the mean kids.

I'm the pp, and in our case I don't think the other kids were "mean", he just wasn't thought of when it was time to do something, and he isn't a sporty kid so he didn't have that to connect with either. So he wasn't kicked away from a lunch table, but wasn't necessarily invited to sit down, if that makes sense.

I get it. We have had that sort of experience too. No fun but manageable. I am talking about harrassment. Hope those kids get their act together and stop being mean.

My daughter who has a developmental disability and is very aware of it, gets tired of special treatment. The teacher told me a couple of girls try to “mother” her. They are just trying to be nice but my daughter hates being helped. She is determined to do things herself. She has asked to go many places but not once has she asked to go to school. Her speech has improved too. If she wasn’t an only child, I would probably homeschool her but I’m afraid that no socialization would be worse. She does stick up for herself and will tell someone to leave her alone. I have tried to talk to her about her disability a couple of times but she shuts the conversation down immediately. She’s mostly happy a happy kid. The quarantine has made me aware of how much school affects her though. I’ve been really struggling with this.

They have a lot of events for homeschoolers. I wouldn’t be concerned about this aspect.

Thanks, I’ll look into it more.