Do you think we will see a massive uptick in women choosing to stay home after this?

[Anonymous]

I'm a SAHM and was in the middle of going back to work when all of this happened, and I will continue with it when things calm down. BUT...it's not a job where I could work from home. I'm concerned because I see how hard it will be for our family when we inevitably have another wave of this crap. It will be interesting to see how the workforce redistributes? Will telework friendly jobs be like gold and more competitive than they already were? Time will tell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Millions of Americans live in multi-generational households. There was a big article about it yesterday. We do as well.

20%

Asian/Black/Hispanic closer to 30%

The uptick also is mostly due to immigration and 25-29 year old unable to buy houses

They are also good at economizing because of number of people in households, they buy in bulk, they have assigned chores... Childcare is not an issue and neither is fear of elderly being alone.

The Asian families I know also have huge homes and that is because of the need of everyone to have their own space and also because by pooling their resources they can buy a big home. Home ownership is important but paying rent for a separate place is not. The youngsters who have their own apartments are those who have moved away to another city or were able to save for the down payment for a condo by staying with their families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a SAHM and was in the middle of going back to work when all of this happened, and I will continue with it when things calm down. BUT...it's not a job where I could work from home. I'm concerned because I see how hard it will be for our family when we inevitably have another wave of this crap. It will be interesting to see how the workforce redistributes? Will telework friendly jobs be like gold and more competitive than they already were? Time will tell.

What is the job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Households with a stay-at-home parent have fared the best during these closures; they already have the infrastructure in place for one designated adult to watch and set up home school for the children while the other parent continues work uninterrupted AND their expenses were already adjusted to one income.

This seems stupidly obvious.

All the SAHMs I know have cracked under the pressure of having school age kids home all day every day without any respite. No school. No classes on Saturday. A lot of alcohol themed posts on social media.

Drama-queens!

Yes, it is more work than usual because - everyone is home, weekly cleaning lady is not coming and no restaurants/delivery/take outs. But, most of us have divvied up the work (not raising snowflakes here) and taken charge. My kids and DH are working from home and they have not missed a beat because the kitchen and home is running well. My house is still being cleaned top-to-bottom on the weekends when I do not cook. Kids are handling daily loads of laundry, folding and putting it away. On an average we do 3 loads of laundry daily. Our dishwasher is running 2-3 times a day. Lots of amazing food being cooked. Everyone is hitting the treadmill too.

It is hard when both parents are working, but, c'mon - it is the luxury and security of two incomes that most SAHMs do not have. In normal circumstance, WOHMs are able to outsource many things. These are extraordinary times. Yes, it means that WOHMs may be more slammed right now, but they may have more financial ability to survive job loss etc. I would never have become a SAHM if I did not have financial security.

Not this WOHM. Typical DCUM response that with two incomes, we can outsource cleaning etc. the only thing I outsource is childcare and that’s almost my entire salary.

Yes. DCUM is topsy-turvy world. There is a larger number of wealthy people here who will be able to withstand this. In my own middle class circle, HHI range from $150K - $450K. I see a lot SAHMs in the higher end of this HHI. But, most of these women that I know, who have stayed at home as SAHMs even after their kids have become school-aged, have husbands in very cushy and secure jobs, they have a lot of financial cushion (living way below their means) and they are heavily insured. These are also women who are highly educated and were in the workforce making a lot of money at one time. Outside of DCUM and around the world, this is not the norm. The norm is that women are economically vulnerable everywhere and SAHMs are invariably in a worse financial situation than a WOHM. If all things are equal, being a WOHM is better for the financial health of the family. But, all things are not equal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Millions of Americans live in multi-generational households. There was a big article about it yesterday. We do as well.

20%

Asian/Black/Hispanic closer to 30%

The uptick also is mostly due to immigration and 25-29 year old unable to buy houses

Sure, pre corona. What those polls don't show is how many of those families have split up for the safety of the elderly or other high risk family members during the epidemic especially given the fact that young children are believed to be asymptomatic carriers. Families have fractured and come together depending on the particular jobs and health status of its members. You can see it on this board - some families with health care workers have split up and some have invited the elderly in with them to ride this out. What we don't know is how long it will take for those family groups to come back together especially when schools return in the fall (if they do). A lot is changing and quickly.

[Anonymous]

I think the opposite. People are realizing that financial security is more fleeting than they thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the opposite. I think many moms will continue to be in the workplace and telecommute. I think nannies will be highly prized to come home and take care of the kids. Most UMC people will learn that they need to work through similar quarantines and they will offer room and board to caregivers. I am thinking something similar to the positions of governesses...that used to be the norm in European aristocracy.

Incidentally, multi-generational households (grandparents, parents, kids) and multi-generational-branched households (grandparents, parents, single uncle/aunt, kids, cousins) that we know in DMV actually did remarkably better because there were many helping hands to take care of things. Also, SAHMs with older kids and telecommuting DH were in a better situation. Single parents or people whose spouses were not with them while they took care of kids, home and their job had it very tough. Since nothing could be outsourced - childcare, food, cleaning, it was incredibly hard. My niece was coping with being alone with her newborn as her husband was recovering from mild COVID symptoms. It has been tough, even though my niece is a very strong young woman. If there was testing available and I could be tested negative for being infective, I would have stayed with her. Thankfully, her ILs are dropping food etc for her.

True for us. We have a nanny and are in a multi-generational household and the lockdown has been incredibly easy and, dare I say enjoyable for us so far

+2. Not multigenerational but I have always worked from home and we still have our wonderful nanny. DH working from home is the only difference. Our nanny is highly educated and much more of a governess-type to begin with. She’s had the older kids learning and really enjoying it while keeping the toddler happy and engaged.

Because of the nature of coronavirus, until we see significant medical advancements or a vaccine, we are going to see a separation of grandparents from the kids for quite awhile longer. In Italy, it was the structure of those multigenerational homes that put the elderly at increased risk.

+1 Multigenerational families are the most scared right now because they're terrified of infecting elderly grandparents.

We are not scared because we are practicing social distancing. Not increasing the risk to them.

[Anonymous]

Disagree. OTOH there will be a lot of SAHMs looking for work because their DHs lost their jobs. Just like after 2008.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Millions of Americans live in multi-generational households. There was a big article about it yesterday. We do as well.

20%

Asian/Black/Hispanic closer to 30%

The uptick also is mostly due to immigration and 25-29 year old unable to buy houses

Sure, pre corona. What those polls don't show is how many of those families have split up for the safety of the elderly or other high risk family members during the epidemic especially given the fact that young children are believed to be asymptomatic carriers. Families have fractured and come together depending on the particular jobs and health status of its members. You can see it on this board - some families with health care workers have split up and some have invited the elderly in with them to ride this out. What we don't know is how long it will take for those family groups to come back together especially when schools return in the fall (if they do). A lot is changing and quickly.

Split up where? You think most families in America have an extra house lying around?

We’re multigenerational and my parents have to watch the kids so we can work. The economic survival of the household depends on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the opposite. I think many moms will continue to be in the workplace and telecommute. I think nannies will be highly prized to come home and take care of the kids. Most UMC people will learn that they need to work through similar quarantines and they will offer room and board to caregivers. I am thinking something similar to the positions of governesses...that used to be the norm in European aristocracy.

Incidentally, multi-generational households (grandparents, parents, kids) and multi-generational-branched households (grandparents, parents, single uncle/aunt, kids, cousins) that we know in DMV actually did remarkably better because there were many helping hands to take care of things. Also, SAHMs with older kids and telecommuting DH were in a better situation. Single parents or people whose spouses were not with them while they took care of kids, home and their job had it very tough. Since nothing could be outsourced - childcare, food, cleaning, it was incredibly hard. My niece was coping with being alone with her newborn as her husband was recovering from mild COVID symptoms. It has been tough, even though my niece is a very strong young woman. If there was testing available and I could be tested negative for being infective, I would have stayed with her. Thankfully, her ILs are dropping food etc for her.

True for us. We have a nanny and are in a multi-generational household and the lockdown has been incredibly easy and, dare I say enjoyable for us so far

+2. Not multigenerational but I have always worked from home and we still have our wonderful nanny. DH working from home is the only difference. Our nanny is highly educated and much more of a governess-type to begin with. She’s had the older kids learning and really enjoying it while keeping the toddler happy and engaged.

Because of the nature of coronavirus, until we see significant medical advancements or a vaccine, we are going to see a separation of grandparents from the kids for quite awhile longer. In Italy, it was the structure of those multigenerational homes that put the elderly at increased risk.

By multi-generational-households, I mean that everyone is staying in the same house. It does not work the same, if you are living next doors to Nonna and have your dinner at her house everyday.

This pandemic has shown that elderly will be vulnerable in their own homes (New York) or even in Nursing Homes (Washington). In fact, the only elderly person who will not be vulnerable to the virus will be the one who is a hermit. The nature of aging means that most elderly will require some kind of daily assistance, and yes, they are in contact with people throughout the day - caregivers, neighbors, other nursing home residents, doctors. Within a family, a lot of their needs get fulfilled (cleaning, cooking, meals, medicines) as part of the normal workings of the household.

Anecdotally, what I have observed in four multi-generational-households that I know of in DMV, is that the cloistering of the multi-generational-family units, provided protection from the contagion to elderly, kids and immunocompromised, eased household logistics, eased anxiety and social isolation, and eased financial worries considerably (mainly because of the pension and SS that the elderly have). I actually only saw great benefits of having these family structures. I also saw that the sandwich generation that normally has to take care of kids as well as the elderly had less of a burden when grandkids and grandparents were together. They were able to telecommute better and felt more in control of this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Households with a stay-at-home parent have fared the best during these closures; they already have the infrastructure in place for one designated adult to watch and set up home school for the children while the other parent continues work uninterrupted AND their expenses were already adjusted to one income.

This seems stupidly obvious.

All the SAHMs I know have cracked under the pressure of having school age kids home all day every day without any respite. No school. No classes on Saturday. A lot of alcohol themed posts on social media.

Drama-queens!

Yes, it is more work than usual because - everyone is home, weekly cleaning lady is not coming and no restaurants/delivery/take outs. But, most of us have divvied up the work (not raising snowflakes here) and taken charge. My kids and DH are working from home and they have not missed a beat because the kitchen and home is running well. My house is still being cleaned top-to-bottom on the weekends when I do not cook. Kids are handling daily loads of laundry, folding and putting it away. On an average we do 3 loads of laundry daily. Our dishwasher is running 2-3 times a day. Lots of amazing food being cooked. Everyone is hitting the treadmill too.

It is hard when both parents are working, but, c'mon - it is the luxury and security of two incomes that most SAHMs do not have. In normal circumstance, WOHMs are able to outsource many things. These are extraordinary times. Yes, it means that WOHMs may be more slammed right now, but they may have more financial ability to survive job loss etc. I would never have become a SAHM if I did not have financial security.

Not this WOHM. Typical DCUM response that with two incomes, we can outsource cleaning etc. the only thing I outsource is childcare and that’s almost my entire salary.

Yes. DCUM is topsy-turvy world. There is a larger number of wealthy people here who will be able to withstand this. In my own middle class circle, HHI range from $150K - $450K. I see a lot SAHMs in the higher end of this HHI. But, most of these women that I know, who have stayed at home as SAHMs even after their kids have become school-aged, have husbands in very cushy and secure jobs, they have a lot of financial cushion (living way below their means) and they are heavily insured. These are also women who are highly educated and were in the workforce making a lot of money at one time. Outside of DCUM and around the world, this is not the norm. The norm is that women are economically vulnerable everywhere and SAHMs are invariably in a worse financial situation than a WOHM. If all things are equal, being a WOHM is better for the financial health of the family. But, all things are not equal.

$450K IS NOT MIDDLE CLASS!!!

[Anonymous]

Given how much I hated my job before, and how much more I hate it now, I am constantly having to invent reasons not to quit. We don’t need the money. Even if my husband loses his job, we don’t need my income (though the health benefits would be nice.)

Working is horrible unless you truly like the work and/or your co-workers.

I was set to quit by May, now I’m hoping to get fired, which is an increasing possibility.

[Anonymous]

Hell no I can’t wait to go back. Also I will need to work longer to make up for retirement savings loss.

[Anonymous]

I am struggling to understand what kind of a job is “cushy and secure” and also brings in $450k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Millions of Americans live in multi-generational households. There was a big article about it yesterday. We do as well.

20%

Asian/Black/Hispanic closer to 30%

The uptick also is mostly due to immigration and 25-29 year old unable to buy houses

Sure, pre corona. What those polls don't show is how many of those families have split up for the safety of the elderly or other high risk family members during the epidemic especially given the fact that young children are believed to be asymptomatic carriers. Families have fractured and come together depending on the particular jobs and health status of its members. You can see it on this board - some families with health care workers have split up and some have invited the elderly in with them to ride this out. What we don't know is how long it will take for those family groups to come back together especially when schools return in the fall (if they do). A lot is changing and quickly.

Split up where? You think most families in America have an extra house lying around?

We’re multigenerational and my parents have to watch the kids so we can work. The economic survival of the household depends on it.

I know a few families that moved into rentals deliberately to split the grandparents away for their safety.