Do you think we will see a massive uptick in women choosing to stay home after this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a really cushy 6 figure job with a lot of flexibility that gives me a lot of time with my kids--I get out in time to pick them up.

To hear DCUM tell it, you’d think every woman has this kind of job.

You can be sure these sorts of jobs will be going the way of the ape in the coming recession/depression.

NP. Bitter much? I also have a cushy six-figure job that isn’t going anywhere. You don’t know what the first PP does and you don’t know what I do, so keep your bitterness to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Households with a stay-at-home parent have fared the best during these closures; they already have the infrastructure in place for one designated adult to watch and set up home school for the children while the other parent continues work uninterrupted AND their expenses were already adjusted to one income.

I’m not sure about that. There are two SAHMs in our very close friend group and they are definitely not faring the best. Those of us who are have reasonable employers and flexibility. Also stable paychecks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Households with a stay-at-home parent have fared the best during these closures; they already have the infrastructure in place for one designated adult to watch and set up home school for the children while the other parent continues work uninterrupted AND their expenses were already adjusted to one income.

This seems stupidly obvious.

All the SAHMs I know have cracked under the pressure of having school age kids home all day every day without any respite. No school. No classes on Saturday. A lot of alcohol themed posts on social media.

It is clearly harder to work and perform childcare simultaneously. This isn’t even a philosophical matter, there are simply only so many hours in a day.

True, but those of us who work are used to figuring things like this out. We get up earlier, go to bed later, multi-task, etc. My stay at home mom friends seem totally frazzled by this, with the exception of one who homeschooled her kids before this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Households with a stay-at-home parent have fared the best during these closures; they already have the infrastructure in place for one designated adult to watch and set up home school for the children while the other parent continues work uninterrupted AND their expenses were already adjusted to one income.

I’m not sure about that. There are two SAHMs in our very close friend group and they are definitely not faring the best. Those of us who are have reasonable employers and flexibility. Also stable paychecks.

+1. I agree. The fear of losing the one and only paycheck coming in is pretty great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Households with a stay-at-home parent have fared the best during these closures; they already have the infrastructure in place for one designated adult to watch and set up home school for the children while the other parent continues work uninterrupted AND their expenses were already adjusted to one income.

If that 1 earner lost their job, they are SOL

But if they didn’t, they came out on top (with a major stimulus check, too).

If you get a stimulus check you hardly make any money as is. So you’re already broke. So sure it’s the same, fwiw.

+1

If someone with a SAHM is getting a stimulus check (which isn’t massive, BTW), then they were earning much to begin with. The only person I know getting one is our nanny, and even she is slightly phased out.

[Anonymous]

I sometimes I have a chip on my shoulder about working but I feel the opposite during this pandemic. I feel “lucky” right now that both my husband and I work since I think economy is tanking. Hopefully neither of us will lose our jobs, but if one of us lost our job, the other could keep us afloat.

[Anonymous]

Giving up a paycheck seems really foolish right now but part of me hopes I’ll get laid off and can take a couple years off. I’ve been working for 16 years and I’m on my last baby. I’d love to stay at home for 3 years, retool and hop back in. So we shall see. I will continue to do my best at my job, which I also love.

[Anonymous]

I actually think you'll see more women and young women planning around staying in the workforce in stable jobs with good benefits. And you'll see more women staying in those jobs and hanging on to them. Examples of jobs like this are: teaching, higher ed administration, government employees, corporate accounting/HR. They'll see the value, even for someone married to a successful spouse, of having a second earner, particularly one with good health insurance and, in some cases, a defined-benefit pension. Remember, what kills many young families in the UMC with job loss is often COBRA. Non-COBRA plans often don't cut it if you are pregnant, have a pre-exisiting condition, or have a kid that needs special therapies, etc.

A good example is my brother. He's decidedly UMC as a law partner, but in a practice that is severely affected the current situation (he represents hotel and hospitality companies). But his spouse has one of those boring stable jobs, so he isn't *that* worried. Will they have to reduce their spending and lifestyle if he loses his job? Yes, but they'll fundamentally be okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Households with a stay-at-home parent have fared the best during these closures; they already have the infrastructure in place for one designated adult to watch and set up home school for the children while the other parent continues work uninterrupted AND their expenses were already adjusted to one income.

I’m not sure about that. There are two SAHMs in our very close friend group and they are definitely not faring the best. Those of us who are have reasonable employers and flexibility. Also stable paychecks.

+1. I agree. The fear of losing the one and only paycheck coming in is pretty great.

Plus they are use to never seeing their H and having him around all the time... not a plus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the opposite. I think many moms will continue to be in the workplace and telecommute. I think nannies will be highly prized to come home and take care of the kids. Most UMC people will learn that they need to work through similar quarantines and they will offer room and board to caregivers. I am thinking something similar to the positions of governesses...that used to be the norm in European aristocracy.

Incidentally, multi-generational households (grandparents, parents, kids) and multi-generational-branched households (grandparents, parents, single uncle/aunt, kids, cousins) that we know in DMV actually did remarkably better because there were many helping hands to take care of things. Also, SAHMs with older kids and telecommuting DH were in a better situation. Single parents or people whose spouses were not with them while they took care of kids, home and their job had it very tough. Since nothing could be outsourced - childcare, food, cleaning, it was incredibly hard. My niece was coping with being alone with her newborn as her husband was recovering from mild COVID symptoms. It has been tough, even though my niece is a very strong young woman. If there was testing available and I could be tested negative for being infective, I would have stayed with her. Thankfully, her ILs are dropping food etc for her.

True for us. We have a nanny and are in a multi-generational household and the lockdown has been incredibly easy and, dare I say enjoyable for us so far

+2. Not multigenerational but I have always worked from home and we still have our wonderful nanny. DH working from home is the only difference. Our nanny is highly educated and much more of a governess-type to begin with. She’s had the older kids learning and really enjoying it while keeping the toddler happy and engaged.

Because of the nature of coronavirus, until we see significant medical advancements or a vaccine, we are going to see a separation of grandparents from the kids for quite awhile longer. In Italy, it was the structure of those multigenerational homes that put the elderly at increased risk.

+1 Multigenerational families are the most scared right now because they're terrified of infecting elderly grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Millions of Americans live in multi-generational households. There was a big article about it yesterday. We do as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know many women who are intensely unhappy with being home now, but will probably remain home after this because they feel they have been penalized by their employers for being mothers and by the government for being employed. I feel bad for them because the logistics of surviving SAH do seem to require one adult to act as home manager. There’s no reason that it has to be a woman (unless you are a lesbian couple), but that’s how it seems to be shaking out. Just one more loss for Millennial young women.

This really resonates with me. My job doesn’t care that I have kids. I’m still expected to meet all work demands during set hours, which is challenging with small children. The government offers no assistance because I’m counted as employed. I’m not saying I’m owed anything by either, just that I’m in a position where I feel stretched close to my breaking point. DH has the higher earning job that is even more demanding and doesn’t allow for set blocks where he can watch the kids. He is holding down the fort whenever he can to help me meet my work demands, but if someone’s career is going to take a hit, it will be mine, which is lower paying and has less upward mobility anyway. I don’t really love my job and this experience has made me truly realize how much I am valued by my family and how little my employer cares about me as a human being. So much of my salary goes to covering childcare expenses that it almost doesn’t seem worth it to work. I’m not making any long term decisions during the pandemic. And I’ll probably always work in some capacity. But it’s making me realize life is short and I don’t know if full time work is worth it for me personally.

[Anonymous]

I wish I could SAH, but DH is not financially stable, so I will probably work until my dying day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know many women who are intensely unhappy with being home now, but will probably remain home after this because they feel they have been penalized by their employers for being mothers and by the government for being employed. I feel bad for them because the logistics of surviving SAH do seem to require one adult to act as home manager. There’s no reason that it has to be a woman (unless you are a lesbian couple), but that’s how it seems to be shaking out. Just one more loss for Millennial young women.

This really resonates with me. My job doesn’t care that I have kids. I’m still expected to meet all work demands during set hours, which is challenging with small children. The government offers no assistance because I’m counted as employed. I’m not saying I’m owed anything by either, just that I’m in a position where I feel stretched close to my breaking point. DH has the higher earning job that is even more demanding and doesn’t allow for set blocks where he can watch the kids. He is holding down the fort whenever he can to help me meet my work demands, but if someone’s career is going to take a hit, it will be mine, which is lower paying and has less upward mobility anyway. I don’t really love my job and this experience has made me truly realize how much I am valued by my family and how little my employer cares about me as a human being. So much of my salary goes to covering childcare expenses that it almost doesn’t seem worth it to work. I’m not making any long term decisions during the pandemic. And I’ll probably always work in some capacity. But it’s making me realize life is short and I don’t know if full time work is worth it for me personally. [/I]

I've had the opposite experience. My employer has been amazing and supportive and has gone out of their way to make it work and ensure they retain their valued employees right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Millions of Americans live in multi-generational households. There was a big article about it yesterday. We do as well.

20%

Asian/Black/Hispanic closer to 30%

The uptick also is mostly due to immigration and 25-29 year old unable to buy houses