26 year old step son happily receives Christmas gifts but NEVER reciprocates

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, you guys don’t think this is a troll?

No. Step moms are the worst. They are interlopers on a family units trying to put their options all over a family event. She is not related to anybody in the story, she is the outsider.

Didn’t get along with your stepmom, huh?

Intact families don’t have to worry about stepmom craziness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess your DH didn't raise him right.

This. He didn’t get this way all by himself.

Or he was raised right because in their family parents and grandparents don’t get presents.

I have a branch of our family that does not give gift to kids once they graduate from college. No more gifts gifts are for children. All the adults do a service project together. That is how they decided to do xmas. You can’t tell others families how to do xmas.

Some families pick names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not overreacting but with family it gets tricky. You can stop but are the grandparents going to stop? Probably not.

My brother is exactly like this. I sent a present with my mom and texted him. No thank you or even a reply. He has a girlfriend and you would think she would try to get him to reach out? My brother had adhd growing up and I think this is part of his problem. He’s probably never going to change even if you say something. I wouldn’t buy him anything anymore or I would decrease the gift. $10 gift card.

Leave his girlfriend out of this. WTF.

[Anonymous]

Statistically, most of you posting anti-step rants are going to be in the exact same position yourself someday. Paybacks are hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess your DH didn't raise him right.

This. He didn’t get this way all by himself.

Or he was raised right because in their family parents and grandparents don’t get presents.

I have a branch of our family that does not give gift to kids once they graduate from college. No more gifts gifts are for children. All the adults do a service project together. That is how they decided to do xmas. You can’t tell others families how to do xmas.

Some families pick names.

His sister gives gifts. And the other relatives agree with stepmom but are afraid to speak up.

[Anonymous]

This is why I love DCUM. Lots of threads of people complaining about the gifts they did receive (stop giving food - stop with gift cards etc etc ) then threads complaining about the unequal gift giving and now we have lots of outrage because someone doesn't give a gift.

I love reading this forum - it is really like a reality show but without having to turn on the TV!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Statistically, most of you posting anti-step rants are going to be in the exact same position yourself someday. Paybacks are hell.

I don’t have to worry about statistics because I’m not boorish like OP.

Can you imagine a grown adult throwing a temper tantrum over a Christmas gift. OP must be an only child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As step-mom, it’s not your place to say anything, especially if you never provided him parental care as a child. MYOB.

B.S. If someone came up to her DH in a store and intentionally hit him with a cart, should she stand off to the side and say nothing? If someone hurts someone I love, I got their back. Watching this selfish guy treat his father, sister and grandparents with disdain is hurtful.

What some of you people don't seem to get is that NOT ALL ADULTS BUY OTHER GROWN-ASS ADULTS PRESENTS FOR CHRISTMAS. If you want to get other adults presents for Christmas, do so, and enjoy. Some of us don't feel like celebrating a religious holiday with secular materialism. Some of us think the Santa side of Christmas really is just for kids, too.

I'll really blow your mind when I let you in on the secret that some of us also think celebrating non-milestone birthdays with lots of gifts, cakes, parties, etc. past the age of about 25 or so is also moronic.

Where did EITHER of these comments mention GIFTS? So jump off your soap box. The whole point is SS is being hurtful to his family. He doesn't have to buy stuff - even if he told grandparents he was taking them out for a movie or for a walk in a park as a gift, they'd be thrilled.

You're insane. So spending time together literally has to be packaged as a gift, it can't just be hello, great to see you, happy to spend time with you this holiday season?

Grown adults making time to see one another is enough of a gift to some of us who don't need a productin or presents at Christmas. Ever watched "The Grinch"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess your DH didn't raise him right.

This. He didn’t get this way all by himself.

Or he was raised right because in their family parents and grandparents don’t get presents.

I have a branch of our family that does not give gift to kids once they graduate from college. No more gifts gifts are for children. All the adults do a service project together. That is how they decided to do xmas. You can’t tell others families how to do xmas.

Some families pick names.

His sister gives gifts. And the other relatives agree with stepmom but are afraid to speak up.

Maybe they asked her not to bring gifts and she did anyway. God I hate that, the one family that gives gifts when everybody agrees not to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess your DH didn't raise him right.

This. He didn’t get this way all by himself.

Or he was raised right because in their family parents and grandparents don’t get presents.

I have a branch of our family that does not give gift to kids once they graduate from college. No more gifts gifts are for children. All the adults do a service project together. That is how they decided to do xmas. You can’t tell others families how to do xmas.

Some families pick names.

His sister gives gifts. And the other relatives agree with stepmom but are afraid to speak up.

Maybe they asked her not to bring gifts and she did anyway. God I hate that, the one family that gives gifts when everybody agrees not to.

Maybe you should read the Op, because that’s not the case at all.

[Anonymous]

So- seriously- are gifts your love language? Because who gives AF!!! would be grateful not to receive something, frankly. I have everything I need.

Now time and experiences I care about- and sounds like SS makes time to enjoy the holiday with his family- great!!

You clearly dislike SS.

I just cannot imagine a grown adult moping because they didn’t get a gift - this has to be a joke??!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess your DH didn't raise him right.

This. He didn’t get this way all by himself.

Or he was raised right because in their family parents and grandparents don’t get presents.

I have a branch of our family that does not give gift to kids once they graduate from college. No more gifts gifts are for children. All the adults do a service project together. That is how they decided to do xmas. You can’t tell others families how to do xmas.

Some families pick names.

His sister gives gifts. And the other relatives agree with stepmom but are afraid to speak up.

Where does the OP say that?

"I made that comment to him and am done with it, but am just still so angry and frustrated at his blatant selfishness. His grandmother and I had a conversation about it and she just sighed and shrugged her shoulders. His dad is upset about it too, but won't say anything to him either."

Doesn't sound like the grandmother is upset. I bet she sighed and shrugged her shoulders because she was sick of the OP's constant bitching and criticizing. Probably dad doesn't say anything to him because he's fine with it, too. OP sounds high strung and aggressive. Not fun to have around at a family Christmas gathering, no matter how many gifts she brings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So- seriously- are gifts your love language? Because who gives AF!!! would be grateful not to receive something, frankly. I have everything I need.

Now time and experiences I care about- and sounds like SS makes time to enjoy the holiday with his family- great!!

You clearly dislike SS.

I just cannot imagine a grown adult moping because they didn’t get a gift - this has to be a joke??!

DP here. I have a feeling this is just symptom of stepson’s whole attitude toward family. What can they do for HIM.

[Anonymous]

It is not "selfish" of a grown adult to choose to celebrate Christmas without buying presents for other adults.

The proper etiquette when given a gift is to say thank you and express sincere gratitude. It is NOT proper etiquette to feel that you are owed a gift just because you choose to give a gift.

I told my family years ago that I am no longer buying Christmas gifts for adults. Some adults in my family still choose to give me presents; I say thank you. But I do not feel obligated to celebrate Christmas by buying gifts for well-to-do adults who literally do not need or want for a single thing.

You are seriously, seriously on the wrong side of etiquette to think that someone is obligated to get you a gift just because you chose to give them a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess your DH didn't raise him right.

This. He didn’t get this way all by himself.

Or he was raised right because in their family parents and grandparents don’t get presents.

I have a branch of our family that does not give gift to kids once they graduate from college. No more gifts gifts are for children. All the adults do a service project together. That is how they decided to do xmas. You can’t tell others families how to do xmas.

Some families pick names.

His sister gives gifts. And the other relatives agree with stepmom but are afraid to speak up.

Maybe they asked her not to bring gifts and she did anyway. God I hate that, the one family that gives gifts when everybody agrees not to.

Maybe you should read the Op, because that’s not the case at all.

You don’t know what the case is. All we know is everybody was happy except OP.