Asking an adult to let you know when they get home

[Anonymous]

Can those who think it is “normal and caring” to ask an adult to let you know when they get home, explain why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can those who think it is “normal and caring” to ask an adult to let you know when they get home, explain why?

Why do you do anything for other people? Get them non-essential gifts? Do things that aren't critical? It's their way of showing that they care about you. It's their love language.

Also, so many drivers are insane. Especially Maryland drivers.

[Anonymous]

I'm kinda with OP here. I don't mind at all doing this for parents, who raised, loved, and worried after me growing up. But for a sibling? Please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can those who think it is “normal and caring” to ask an adult to let you know when they get home, explain why?

Why do you do anything for other people? Get them non-essential gifts? Do things that aren't critical? It's their way of showing that they care about you. It's their love language.

Also, so many drivers are insane. Especially Maryland drivers.

None of that answers the question of why it matters to check in *only* after leaving relatives. Giving non-essential gifts is different than engaging in kabuki.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom sometimes asks me to do this (of course only when I have been with them and am going home, not the other 350 days a year when she has no idea if I got home safe). I say I will if I remember, but likely I will not remember so she should not worry if I don't text. And then I usually forget.

Same, except my mom recently died. Several of us have started saying this to each other in her absence. We’re just showing we care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can those who think it is “normal and caring” to ask an adult to let you know when they get home, explain why?

Why do you do anything for other people? Get them non-essential gifts? Do things that aren't critical? It's their way of showing that they care about you. It's their love language.

Also, so many drivers are insane. Especially Maryland drivers.

None of that answers the question of why it matters to check in *only* after leaving relatives. Giving non-essential gifts is different than engaging in kabuki.

It's not rational, perhaps, but perhaps after seeing their offspring the older generation has a bit of a flare of the same pilot light that would get turned up when the kid was out on a Friday night or whatever. Also, and I'm sure my family is not alone in this, given a few generations of history and branches of people there are a couple of fatal accidents that are seared in memory in connection with a holiday or reunion or whatever (we were at my grandma's dining table looking at old photos when the phone rang and we learned 2 of my cousins had been killed when their parents' car got t-bone by someone who ran a stop sign in the country). And when they get the text/call they can stop worring about getting that other call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can those who think it is “normal and caring” to ask an adult to let you know when they get home, explain why?

Why do you do anything for other people? Get them non-essential gifts? Do things that aren't critical? It's their way of showing that they care about you. It's their love language.

Also, so many drivers are insane. Especially Maryland drivers.

None of that answers the question of why it matters to check in *only* after leaving relatives. Giving non-essential gifts is different than engaging in kabuki.

It’s a holdover from pre-internet days. If someone’s come to visit you, you may not see or hear from that for months afterward. Now, you can run into them on Facebook. But back then, it was a simple courtesy on both sides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can those who think it is “normal and caring” to ask an adult to let you know when they get home, explain why?

Why do you do anything for other people? Get them non-essential gifts? Do things that aren't critical? It's their way of showing that they care about you. It's their love language.

Also, so many drivers are insane. Especially Maryland drivers.

None of that answers the question of why it matters to check in *only* after leaving relatives. Giving non-essential gifts is different than engaging in kabuki.

I ask the same of friends. Again, it's part of my love language. I get maybe it bothers you, but so does receiving useless crap as a gift. No matter what the situation is, it's still kind to acknowledge the asker/giver/etc.

[Anonymous]

Do not freak out OP, but I not only do this with friends as well, but if I drop off a friend I wait til they get in the door!!!

[Anonymous]

Are people that damn sensitive and insecure that a small simple gesture demonstrating care about a person’s safety and well-being is seen as some boundary intrusion and insult to their supposed independence and maturity?????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are people that damn sensitive and insecure that a small simple gesture demonstrating care about a person’s safety and well-being is seen as some boundary intrusion and insult to their supposed independence and maturity?????

Because it's not. People have explained on here that it's a neurosis that the elderly develop. They want to know where everyone is, every second of the day. It's anxiety and you're helping to feed into it. I think a spouse should know where you are, but extended family? nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are people that damn sensitive and insecure that a small simple gesture demonstrating care about a person’s safety and well-being is seen as some boundary intrusion and insult to their supposed independence and maturity?????

Because it's not. People have explained on here that it's a neurosis that the elderly develop. They want to know where everyone is, every second of the day. It's anxiety and you're helping to feed into it. I think a spouse should know where you are, but extended family? nope.

You guys are overthinking this. We all do this in my family. Parents, siblings. Just checking in to make sure everyone is okay, because we love and care about each other.

The things people choose to complain about...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not freak out OP, but I not only do this with friends as well, but if I drop off a friend I wait til they get in the door!!!

Me, too, PP!! Aren't we crazy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not freak out OP, but I not only do this with friends as well, but if I drop off a friend I wait til they get in the door!!!

Me, too, PP!! Aren't we crazy?

If I’m there, dropping her off, I wait too. I’d never presume to make her add the step of calling me when she got home safely if I weren’t there with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are people that damn sensitive and insecure that a small simple gesture demonstrating care about a person’s safety and well-being is seen as some boundary intrusion and insult to their supposed independence and maturity?????

Because it's not. People have explained on here that it's a neurosis that the elderly develop. They want to know where everyone is, every second of the day. It's anxiety and you're helping to feed into it. I think a spouse should know where you are, but extended family? nope.

I have one friend and one cousin who ask me to text when I get home. I like it. They don't seem like neurotic people. They don't need to know where I am. They just want to make sure I got home without incident. I would guess they aren't necessarily even worried I'll get into an accident, rather, it's just that it's how they were raised.

Like a pp mentioned: when I drop someone off, I don't leave until they're inside. Just how I was raised, and it makes me feel contented to know they're safe.