Here's what I don't understand about red shirting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is anecdotal, but in my kid's day care the only kid i know being redshirted actually has a late September birthday, which is well within the fealm of reasonable. An extra $18k is a lot to pay for that!

I’m a sahm who redshirted, all of the kids that I know in her grade who were redshirted have sahms as well.

Why is this? I actually don't know many redshirted kids, but if the SAHMs who redshirt is a thing, any idea why?

I do recall a SAHM at my kid's school telling me that she tried to time her pregnancies so that they were old for grade--I remembering being surprised, since that's not something that was ever on my radar, nor did I consider it to be necessarily advantageous.

I know a lot of WOHPs who didn't consider waiting a year because they didn't want to have to pay for another year of daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is anecdotal, but in my kid's day care the only kid i know being redshirted actually has a late September birthday, which is well within the fealm of reasonable. An extra $18k is a lot to pay for that!

I’m a sahm who redshirted, all of the kids that I know in her grade who were redshirted have sahms as well.

Why is this? I actually don't know many redshirted kids, but if the SAHMs who redshirt is a thing, any idea why?

I do recall a SAHM at my kid's school telling me that she tried to time her pregnancies so that they were old for grade--I remembering being surprised, since that's not something that was ever on my radar, nor did I consider it to be necessarily advantageous.

I'm a PP above who posted about a friend whose kid "just likes to be home" so just being clear that this isn't another vote for that same reasoning, but that is my take on it. SAHMs are used to their kids being around. The kids are used to being around. They aren't in full day preschool programs so the jump to K seems much larger. Also, obviously the costs are a factor if the parent is already not working.

PP here and this makes sense to me. Thinking back to daycare and preschool, the kids who had the hardest transition had not been in a daycare setting before. I'm thinking of a kid who had a particularly hard transition--the daycare teachers mentioned that she'd been home with grandma, by way of explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is anecdotal, but in my kid's day care the only kid i know being redshirted actually has a late September birthday, which is well within the fealm of reasonable. An extra $18k is a lot to pay for that!

I’m a sahm who redshirted, all of the kids that I know in her grade who were redshirted have sahms as well.

Why is this? I actually don't know many redshirted kids, but if the SAHMs who redshirt is a thing, any idea why?

I do recall a SAHM at my kid's school telling me that she tried to time her pregnancies so that they were old for grade--I remembering being surprised, since that's not something that was ever on my radar, nor did I consider it to be necessarily advantageous.

I'm the sahm who redshirted. I actually tried to time my pregnancies so that my kids would be the oldest in their grades as well.

Ha. I'm a WOHM who didn't necessarily time it, but was very grateful to have babies in September- among the older ones in their class, but also didn't have to have the the redshirt vs. not redshirt debate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

People act like we're rebels for sending our septembers on time. This city is nuts.

What people? All the fall birthday kids I know went on time, other than one right before the cutoff with developmental delays, and a couple of kids who repeated K.

upper NW private

[Anonymous]

Yes this is really a different phenomenon in the affluent privates. There are many boys with spring birthdays redshirted. It’s a different culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You would think that, but as you're reading here, so many parents assume boys with August birthdays will start late. Even when my kid was a newborn, I had people say to me, "Well he'll be the oldest in his class since you can start him late". WTF?

People act like we're rebels for sending our septembers on time. This city is nuts.

Have you ever lived elsewhere? It's not just "this city" or affluent people...I spent the first 15 years of my education career (1995-2010) as a kindergarten teacher in a very middle class part of the Midwest (Appleton, WI area - 9/1 cutoff) and the vast majority of August boys went to school at a young 6 instead of young 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care what other people do? That's no way to go through life.

I'm not OP - Because if your child is two years older than mine in the same classroom, that's a problem for my child.

[Anonymous]

My August boy went to school on time and is doing great. We met with the school psychologist before making the decision and he strongly urged us to send him. He said red shirted kids might have a leg up in K-2 ish but by the time they are in middle school they start to feel uncomfortable with how much bigger and developed they are than everyone else. Also, by the time they are in high school, they look like they don't belong anymore. 20 is too old to be in high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, stop. I've been in education for 20+ years. The concept of sending a child who was born within 1 month - at the most 6 weeks) before the cut off has been a conversation among middle class parents for all those 20 years. Nobody is talking about holding a child who was born in February and will therefore be 51/2 at Kindergarten entry into public school. They are talking about kids who turned 5 a few days before they start school. There is a HUGE difference at 5 years old between being barely 5 (Aug birthday) and being basically 6 (Sept/Oct birthday). Just as there is with a just turned 1 year old and a child who is basically 2 at 23 months old.

And for those who ARE held back with a spring birthday - the 2 examples given above - were a child who immigrated to this country with NO English and a child with serious developmental delays. (and frankly, a child with developmental delays needs MORE than just to be held back, but their parents know that - it's none of your business).

And by right before the cutoff I mean an August or mid July birthday for a Sept 1 cutoff, a Nov 15 through Dec 31 birthday for Dec 31 cutoff. Even the June kids are going to kindergarten.

Someone needs to be the youngest, someone needs to be the oldest, but if my child weren't socially and emotionally ready for the heavy lift of kindergarten (at this time, this country has VERY developmentally INappropriate kindergarten expectations for children, too) then I'd hold my August birthday kid back if he really wasn't ready. And some just aren't! Or, if I wasn't sure, I'd send him to a different Kindergarten (private or Waldorf), and then send him to either Public Kindergarten (to keep holding him back/redshirting) or 1st grade depending on whether he were ready.

+1 Could not agree with the bolded more.

+2 I was sent a year ahead of my peers. Different country, different time, but I was home by 1pm every day for the first 5 years or so. I am terrified of how my 5yo will be expected to be gone until 4pm each day!

Are you a SAHP with no preschool? I don't get it. Most of us at age 4 put our kids in a 9-3 preschool to get them prepared. Going to elementary school was not a transition as kids at our preschool were prepared. It was a non-issue as they were used to it, used to sitting and functioning in a classroom. Most were also reading.

It's not about being "prepared" - you can push academics too early on preschoolers as well. Doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. When it comes down to it, K just isn't developmentally appropriate for many kids, particularly those who just turned 5. Ask anyone familiar with early childhood development.

I posted links on the last stupid redshirting thread if you want to actually learn something about the subject. Or feel free to google.

It is developmentally appropriate and those saying it make no sense. Saying its not developmentally appropriate is meaningless. There is no substance. I am very familiar with early childhood development. And, we didn't hold back our child. Instead, we knew he'd be young in his grade and we prepared him. Ever consider if your child is not ready and there are no developmental delays that you may be the problem. You say oh, its not appropriate as an excuse not to prepare your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, stop. I've been in education for 20+ years. The concept of sending a child who was born within 1 month - at the most 6 weeks) before the cut off has been a conversation among middle class parents for all those 20 years. Nobody is talking about holding a child who was born in February and will therefore be 51/2 at Kindergarten entry into public school. They are talking about kids who turned 5 a few days before they start school. There is a HUGE difference at 5 years old between being barely 5 (Aug birthday) and being basically 6 (Sept/Oct birthday). Just as there is with a just turned 1 year old and a child who is basically 2 at 23 months old.

And for those who ARE held back with a spring birthday - the 2 examples given above - were a child who immigrated to this country with NO English and a child with serious developmental delays. (and frankly, a child with developmental delays needs MORE than just to be held back, but their parents know that - it's none of your business).

And by right before the cutoff I mean an August or mid July birthday for a Sept 1 cutoff, a Nov 15 through Dec 31 birthday for Dec 31 cutoff. Even the June kids are going to kindergarten.

Someone needs to be the youngest, someone needs to be the oldest, but if my child weren't socially and emotionally ready for the heavy lift of kindergarten (at this time, this country has VERY developmentally INappropriate kindergarten expectations for children, too) then I'd hold my August birthday kid back if he really wasn't ready. And some just aren't! Or, if I wasn't sure, I'd send him to a different Kindergarten (private or Waldorf), and then send him to either Public Kindergarten (to keep holding him back/redshirting) or 1st grade depending on whether he were ready.

+1 Could not agree with the bolded more.

+2 I was sent a year ahead of my peers. Different country, different time, but I was home by 1pm every day for the first 5 years or so. I am terrified of how my 5yo will be expected to be gone until 4pm each day!

Are you a SAHP with no preschool? I don't get it. Most of us at age 4 put our kids in a 9-3 preschool to get them prepared. Going to elementary school was not a transition as kids at our preschool were prepared. It was a non-issue as they were used to it, used to sitting and functioning in a classroom. Most were also reading.

It's not about being "prepared" - you can push academics too early on preschoolers as well. Doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. When it comes down to it, K just isn't developmentally appropriate for many kids, particularly those who just turned 5. Ask anyone familiar with early childhood development.

I posted links on the last stupid redshirting thread if you want to actually learn something about the subject. Or feel free to google.

It is developmentally appropriate and those saying it make no sense. Saying its not developmentally appropriate is meaningless. There is no substance. I am very familiar with early childhood development. And, we didn't hold back our child. Instead, we knew he'd be young in his grade and we prepared him. Ever consider if your child is not ready and there are no developmental delays that you may be the problem. You say oh, its not appropriate as an excuse not to prepare your child.

But not familiar with kindergarten, as it is today compared to 10+ years ago. Kindergarten has changed, children haven't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My August boy went to school on time and is doing great. We met with the school psychologist before making the decision and he strongly urged us to send him. He said red shirted kids might have a leg up in K-2 ish but by the time they are in middle school they start to feel uncomfortable with how much bigger and developed they are than everyone else. Also, by the time they are in high school, they look like they don't belong anymore. 20 is too old to be in high school.

An August boy would be 18 in HS. It's a difference of one month from a kid who went on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My August boy went to school on time and is doing great. We met with the school psychologist before making the decision and he strongly urged us to send him. He said red shirted kids might have a leg up in K-2 ish but by the time they are in middle school they start to feel uncomfortable with how much bigger and developed they are than everyone else. Also, by the time they are in high school, they look like they don't belong anymore. 20 is too old to be in high school.

Unless you held him back three times, a redshirted August boy would graduate at 18, same as half his classmates.

I agree with your point, however, that we need to be looking further than "how will Kindergarten go" when making this decision. I do think that kids are aware, or become aware, down the road of who is old for grade, and I do think it can cause embarrassment. Do I think it's a huge issue? No, but we're talking about a population of affluent privileged kids who will probably do fine either way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My August boy went to school on time and is doing great. We met with the school psychologist before making the decision and he strongly urged us to send him. He said red shirted kids might have a leg up in K-2 ish but by the time they are in middle school they start to feel uncomfortable with how much bigger and developed they are than everyone else. Also, by the time they are in high school, they look like they don't belong anymore. 20 is too old to be in high school.

Unless you held him back three times, a redshirted August boy would graduate at 18, same as half his classmates.

I agree with your point, however, that we need to be looking further than "how will Kindergarten go" when making this decision. I do think that kids are aware, or become aware, down the road of who is old for grade, and I do think it can cause embarrassment. Do I think it's a huge issue? No, but we're talking about a population of affluent privileged kids who will probably do fine either way.

I was referring to previous posters concerned with extreme reshirting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care what other people do? That's no way to go through life.

I'm not OP - Because if your child is two years older than mine in the same classroom, that's a problem for my child.

Can't do math.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care what other people do? That's no way to go through life.

I'm not OP - Because if your child is two years older than mine in the same classroom, that's a problem for my child.

Can't do math.

DP. A child with a February/March/April/May/June birthday would be two years older than my September birthday DC for a portion of the school year.