Here's what I don't understand about red shirting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, stop. I've been in education for 20+ years. The concept of sending a child who was born within 1 month - at the most 6 weeks) before the cut off has been a conversation among middle class parents for all those 20 years. Nobody is talking about holding a child who was born in February and will therefore be 51/2 at Kindergarten entry into public school. They are talking about kids who turned 5 a few days before they start school. There is a HUGE difference at 5 years old between being barely 5 (Aug birthday) and being basically 6 (Sept/Oct birthday). Just as there is with a just turned 1 year old and a child who is basically 2 at 23 months old.

And for those who ARE held back with a spring birthday - the 2 examples given above - were a child who immigrated to this country with NO English and a child with serious developmental delays. (and frankly, a child with developmental delays needs MORE than just to be held back, but their parents know that - it's none of your business).

And by right before the cutoff I mean an August or mid July birthday for a Sept 1 cutoff, a Nov 15 through Dec 31 birthday for Dec 31 cutoff. Even the June kids are going to kindergarten.

Someone needs to be the youngest, someone needs to be the oldest, but if my child weren't socially and emotionally ready for the heavy lift of kindergarten (at this time, this country has VERY developmentally INappropriate kindergarten expectations for children, too) then I'd hold my August birthday kid back if he really wasn't ready. And some just aren't! Or, if I wasn't sure, I'd send him to a different Kindergarten (private or Waldorf), and then send him to either Public Kindergarten (to keep holding him back/redshirting) or 1st grade depending on whether he were ready.

+1 Could not agree with the bolded more.

+2 I was sent a year ahead of my peers. Different country, different time, but I was home by 1pm every day for the first 5 years or so. I am terrified of how my 5yo will be expected to be gone until 4pm each day!

Are you a SAHP with no preschool? I don't get it. Most of us at age 4 put our kids in a 9-3 preschool to get them prepared. Going to elementary school was not a transition as kids at our preschool were prepared. It was a non-issue as they were used to it, used to sitting and functioning in a classroom. Most were also reading.

It's not about being "prepared" - you can push academics too early on preschoolers as well. Doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. When it comes down to it, K just isn't developmentally appropriate for many kids, particularly those who just turned 5. Ask anyone familiar with early childhood development.

I posted links on the last stupid redshirting thread if you want to actually learn something about the subject. Or feel free to google.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing is that when people here talk about the advantages of redshirting, it makes those of us who sent our kids on time feel like bad parents somehow. When I tell people that my son has an August birthday, I feel like I have to provide an explanation for why he started K at age 5.

This is how insecure we are as parents! I am redshirting mine and feel judged becAuse I was not able to raise a tougher kid. Why would feel bad! If your son is ready and doing well you should only be proud! If he is at the same level of redshirted kids you should also be very proud and if he is not, you should still be proud because he is likely almost a year younger than most kids.
On the other hand if you think he is struggling then maybe you should think about holding him
Back!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perfectly OK to bring up the topic, Op. It should be brought up again and again. Good to keep the pressure on.

Who are you people? Why do you GAF what other families do?

Go change the laws if you don't like it. Because it's a legal option in many states.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I swear people only think in the moment, because if they thought longer term they would realize their child will be a 20 or 21-year-old HS senior.

We didn't red shirt our child with the late-summer birthday, and she will graduate HS at 17. It will give her an earlier start on finishing her undergrad degree by 22, and grad school by 25. I'd rather help her get an earlier start on her career rather than kindergarten.

That's not how math works.

Can any DCUM poster who opposes redshirting do even basic math?

Nope. The ignorance is astounding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is anecdotal, but in my kid's day care the only kid i know being redshirted actually has a late September birthday, which is well within the fealm of reasonable. An extra $18k is a lot to pay for that!

I’m a sahm who redshirted, all of the kids that I know in her grade who were redshirted have sahms as well.

I honestly feel like this has more to do with kids who aren't in full time preschool being less socially prepared. I'm thinking through real life examples and the only redshirt I know is also from a SAHM, and I recall her saying "he just likes to be home, he's not ready for a full day program yet". My summer birthday boy has been in full day preschool since infancy, and perhaps that's why I don't hesitate to send him on time.

Seems like this has way more to do with nuture than nature?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is anecdotal, but in my kid's day care the only kid i know being redshirted actually has a late September birthday, which is well within the fealm of reasonable. An extra $18k is a lot to pay for that!

I’m a sahm who redshirted, all of the kids that I know in her grade who were redshirted have sahms as well.

I honestly feel like this has more to do with kids who aren't in full time preschool being less socially prepared. I'm thinking through real life examples and the only redshirt I know is also from a SAHM, and I recall her saying "he just likes to be home, he's not ready for a full day program yet". My summer birthday boy has been in full day preschool since infancy, and perhaps that's why I don't hesitate to send him on time.

Seems like this has way more to do with nuture than nature?

My K DD was fine socially and academically, but just young. I wanted her to have more time playing & doing age-appropriate activities than doing word study at a desk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is that when people here talk about the advantages of redshirting, it makes those of us who sent our kids on time feel like bad parents somehow. When I tell people that my son has an August birthday, I feel like I have to provide an explanation for why he started K at age 5.

I dont know of anyone who’d ask why a 5 yr old started K? If they did, it’s not a hard question to answer.
Some people bring drama on themselves.

You would think that, but as you're reading here, so many parents assume boys with August birthdays will start late. Even when my kid was a newborn, I had people say to me, "Well he'll be the oldest in his class since you can start him late". WTF?

Since the day I announced I was due in August, my mother has been up my rear end about how I have to hold him out. He wasn’t even born! We didn’t know if it was a he or a she! She doesn’t care. In her book, July and August babies stay out of school. She did it to both me and my brother. She’s horrified I’m sending him to DCPS this fall (assuming he gets a spot...likely because of sibling preference) and seem to grasp that if I skip it, I can’t just sign him up next year for PK4 because he’d be too old, so the cost would be two additional years of daycare at $20k/year or private pk at some cost we simply can’t afford. He’s already in the last room at his daycare, so this would require finding another school for 2 years as he would be bored to tears with 2.5-4 year olds by the time he turned 6.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is anecdotal, but in my kid's day care the only kid i know being redshirted actually has a late September birthday, which is well within the fealm of reasonable. An extra $18k is a lot to pay for that!

I’m a sahm who redshirted, all of the kids that I know in her grade who were redshirted have sahms as well.

Why is this? I actually don't know many redshirted kids, but if the SAHMs who redshirt is a thing, any idea why?

I do recall a SAHM at my kid's school telling me that she tried to time her pregnancies so that they were old for grade--I remembering being surprised, since that's not something that was ever on my radar, nor did I consider it to be necessarily advantageous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is anecdotal, but in my kid's day care the only kid i know being redshirted actually has a late September birthday, which is well within the fealm of reasonable. An extra $18k is a lot to pay for that!

I’m a sahm who redshirted, all of the kids that I know in her grade who were redshirted have sahms as well.

Why is this? I actually don't know many redshirted kids, but if the SAHMs who redshirt is a thing, any idea why?

I do recall a SAHM at my kid's school telling me that she tried to time her pregnancies so that they were old for grade--I remembering being surprised, since that's not something that was ever on my radar, nor did I consider it to be necessarily advantageous.

I have often heard parents who work saying that they were on the fence about redshirting, and avoiding another year of daycare tuition was a factor in sending them on time. So, that might be one reason against redshirting that doesn't apply to SAHP's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You would think that, but as you're reading here, so many parents assume boys with August birthdays will start late. Even when my kid was a newborn, I had people say to me, "Well he'll be the oldest in his class since you can start him late". WTF?

People act like we're rebels for sending our septembers on time. This city is nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is anecdotal, but in my kid's day care the only kid i know being redshirted actually has a late September birthday, which is well within the fealm of reasonable. An extra $18k is a lot to pay for that!

I’m a sahm who redshirted, all of the kids that I know in her grade who were redshirted have sahms as well.

Why is this? I actually don't know many redshirted kids, but if the SAHMs who redshirt is a thing, any idea why?

I do recall a SAHM at my kid's school telling me that she tried to time her pregnancies so that they were old for grade--I remembering being surprised, since that's not something that was ever on my radar, nor did I consider it to be necessarily advantageous.

I'm a PP above who posted about a friend whose kid "just likes to be home" so just being clear that this isn't another vote for that same reasoning, but that is my take on it. SAHMs are used to their kids being around. The kids are used to being around. They aren't in full day preschool programs so the jump to K seems much larger. Also, obviously the costs are a factor if the parent is already not working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is anecdotal, but in my kid's day care the only kid i know being redshirted actually has a late September birthday, which is well within the fealm of reasonable. An extra $18k is a lot to pay for that!

I’m a sahm who redshirted, all of the kids that I know in her grade who were redshirted have sahms as well.

I honestly feel like this has more to do with kids who aren't in full time preschool being less socially prepared. I'm thinking through real life examples and the only redshirt I know is also from a SAHM, and I recall her saying "he just likes to be home, he's not ready for a full day program yet". My summer birthday boy has been in full day preschool since infancy, and perhaps that's why I don't hesitate to send him on time.

Seems like this has way more to do with nuture than nature?

This is not true at all. The redshirted kids I know, including my daughter were definitely prepared, and they all went to preschool (although not full time). It was simply because the families were able to afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is anecdotal, but in my kid's day care the only kid i know being redshirted actually has a late September birthday, which is well within the fealm of reasonable. An extra $18k is a lot to pay for that!

I’m a sahm who redshirted, all of the kids that I know in her grade who were redshirted have sahms as well.

I honestly feel like this has more to do with kids who aren't in full time preschool being less socially prepared. I'm thinking through real life examples and the only redshirt I know is also from a SAHM, and I recall her saying "he just likes to be home, he's not ready for a full day program yet". My summer birthday boy has been in full day preschool since infancy, and perhaps that's why I don't hesitate to send him on time.

Seems like this has way more to do with nuture than nature?

This is the kind of thing parents say because it would be socially unacceptable to say "I just wanted my son to have an academic and social advantage."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You would think that, but as you're reading here, so many parents assume boys with August birthdays will start late. Even when my kid was a newborn, I had people say to me, "Well he'll be the oldest in his class since you can start him late". WTF?

People act like we're rebels for sending our septembers on time. This city is nuts.

What people? All the fall birthday kids I know went on time, other than one right before the cutoff with developmental delays, and a couple of kids who repeated K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is anecdotal, but in my kid's day care the only kid i know being redshirted actually has a late September birthday, which is well within the fealm of reasonable. An extra $18k is a lot to pay for that!

I’m a sahm who redshirted, all of the kids that I know in her grade who were redshirted have sahms as well.

Why is this? I actually don't know many redshirted kids, but if the SAHMs who redshirt is a thing, any idea why?

I do recall a SAHM at my kid's school telling me that she tried to time her pregnancies so that they were old for grade--I remembering being surprised, since that's not something that was ever on my radar, nor did I consider it to be necessarily advantageous.

I'm the sahm who redshirted. I actually tried to time my pregnancies so that my kids would be the oldest in their grades as well.