Go ahead and vent about your in-laws here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanksgiving at my in-laws starts at 7pm. Dinner is served around 10pm. UGH

Seriously? What time does dinner end, 1 am?

Pretty much, for the people that don’t get fed up and leave before it’s even served.

[Anonymous]

Proof of pasta.

https://imgur.com/a/nytKIFy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL always acts like she's the hostess even when she's just a guest. Especially at my house.

"Tim, there's coffee." (Yes, coffee I made, in my home, and Tim has two eyes and a nose and can already tell that there is coffee.)

"Everyone, go to the table and we'll say the prayer." (Actually, my husband is trying to round people up to the living room and has a plan of something that will make everyone more comfortable--not everyone in our family/friend group is of the same religion/or believes in a higher power.)

"Let's start cutting the pies" (actually, we prefer to wait at least an hour to get a head start on the dishes and give people a little time to digest and get ready for the dessert phase)

DH finally a few years ago asked her to move out of my seat at the end of the table. She always sat opposite him until finally he said, "Mom, that's Anna's seat."

I told my own mother that if she sat my BIL at the head of the table in my house again, she would be celebrating on the front porch alone. My husband sits at the head of the table in my house. I sit at the other end or my father does.

Who cares where everyone sits? No wonder some of you cannot get along with your family.

I don’t care where people sit, but it’s so tiresome to listen to people negotiate for 10 minutes. Place cards all the way!!

For those raised in a barn, there is always a host and a hostess seat at an oval or rectangular table.

The hostess chair is the end chair closest to the kitchen, so that the hostess may easily get up to get things to pass around, etc. The host chair is opposite from the hostess, on the end so that he has elbow room to carve, pass, etc.

Is it 1950? Husband must sit in the corner carving while the wife runs in and out?

We don't eat formally often, but when we do, this is where we sit. I do find it useful to be closest to the kitchen, and to be in a position to help facilitiate conversation among those who might not know each other well. Form and function sometimes do go hand in hand.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This year I have to spend both Thanksgiving and Christmas with my ILs. I need to grow a spine and tell my husband NO MORE.

I've had to spend both holidays with my ILs for the past several years. I told my DH recently just because my family lives far away doesn't mean I want to spend both holidays with his family every year. He said I don't get to prevent him from seeing his family. I said most couples split the holidays. He can decide what we do for one holiday and I should be able to decide what we do for the other. He said if I see my family another time of year, I don't also get to complain about not seeing them for the holidays. Yes I do. He doesn't get it. His parents are divorced so he's trying to hog the holidays with both his sets of parents and I get to spend the holidays with zero of my family and have zero choice of what I want to do? WTF? His parents chose to get divorced. They should be the ones giving up a holiday every year, not me! If I put my foot down, he'll want to take the kids. How do I ever get a holiday with my kids without the ILs?

This is my problem too. My family lives far away, we visited in the summer, we don't go for holidays because tickets are expensive and they're not all in town at the same time like ever. But I don't want to spend two long weekends in the course of one month with DH's family -- and I LIKE them. I'm going to try to plan something with my extended family over christmas next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanksgiving at my in-laws starts at 7pm. Dinner is served around 10pm. UGH

This year, I insisted on dinner being at 5:30. We have two little kids - having a late dinner just results in massive tantrums regardless of if we feed the kids a large snack/small meal at their actual dinner time or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This year I have to spend both Thanksgiving and Christmas with my ILs. I need to grow a spine and tell my husband NO MORE.

I've had to spend both holidays with my ILs for the past several years. I told my DH recently just because my family lives far away doesn't mean I want to spend both holidays with his family every year. He said I don't get to prevent him from seeing his family. I said most couples split the holidays. He can decide what we do for one holiday and I should be able to decide what we do for the other. He said if I see my family another time of year, I don't also get to complain about not seeing them for the holidays. Yes I do. He doesn't get it. His parents are divorced so he's trying to hog the holidays with both his sets of parents and I get to spend the holidays with zero of my family and have zero choice of what I want to do? WTF? His parents chose to get divorced. They should be the ones giving up a holiday every year, not me! If I put my foot down, he'll want to take the kids. How do I ever get a holiday with my kids without the ILs?

This is my problem too. My family lives far away, we visited in the summer, we don't go for holidays because tickets are expensive and they're not all in town at the same time like ever. But I don't want to spend two long weekends in the course of one month with DH's family -- and I LIKE them. I'm going to try to plan something with my extended family over christmas next year.

So, PPs, did both of you know that your DHs were uncompromising dicks when you married them?

[Anonymous]

Mashed potatoes will always be better than mashed squash.

WTH were you thinking, op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Proof of pasta.

https://imgur.com/a/nytKIFy

The pasta is not even the scariest part of that fridge.

[Anonymous]

Indigenous food person: you do realize the first “Thanksgiving” was a celebration by European settlers over the fact that they had killed a bunch of Native Americans, right? That whole pilgrims eating with Native Americans thing is a myth. So you trying to recreate it is ridiculous.

You are a genuinely insufferable person. I hope I never have to meet you in person.

[Anonymous]

Thanksgiving was pretty good. The big win was that no one talked about politics! The annoyingness, for me, were some slight jabs from my mother about this or that all evening. When she tried to open the bathroom door to the bathroom off the living room I was in without knocking (I locked it assuming she or my dad would do that —- they have the manners of a 5 year old) she freaked out when I asked her why she didn’t knock and then stormed out for the evening.

[Anonymous]

Let’s see. So far, this is what my MIL has said to me:

- that I mismanage our au pair because I give her too much time off. And that I should have her make up the hours during the weeks we are home. I pointed out that this is illegal and she shrugged and said she was just stating her opinion and didn’t want to discuss it.

- that I should work with our oldest DD more on her reading. (Doesn’t tell her own son anything)

- that the baby’s feet are cold and why don’t I have anything warmer for her to wear? Even though I insist the baby is fine.

- when we told her that we would head to my sister’s house today, that we couldn’t leave until at least noon because she needed more time with the kids. This is despite the fact that we reviewed this schedule with her last week. And despite the fact that she is retired and can visit us when we she wants and only comes for 24 hour visits. But our 24 hour visit is insufficient.

She is a nasty and condescending person and I have decided that I am not visiting her again unless absolutely necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have much to complain about, but my ILs don’t seem to like my cooking or the local cuisine. They’ve barely eaten anything and apparently my MIL cried because she didn’t like her meal. Tomorrow should be interesting because everything I’m cooking is inspired by indigenous peoples’ food, so it’s definitely not the standard turkey/mashed potatoes/stuffing.

how is this possible people are so weird

[Anonymous]

Here was my thanksgiving:

Walked in, MIL didn’t acknowledge me or talk to me the first half of thanksgiving.

SIL pulled mean girl antics all night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have much to complain about, but my ILs don’t seem to like my cooking or the local cuisine. They’ve barely eaten anything and apparently my MIL cried because she didn’t like her meal. Tomorrow should be interesting because everything I’m cooking is inspired by indigenous peoples’ food, so it’s definitely not the standard turkey/mashed potatoes/stuffing.

how is this possible people are so weird

I dunno, but they are. My mom got all huffy and basically pouted for an entire day because........my dad sat in the backseat with my toddler.

Once, she griped about a restaurant we went to for 5 days. Every time we went out to eat: "we better not be going to that restaurant!" "I hope this is better than that restaurant!" ""Why didn't we eat here instead of that restaurant?" Jesus, lady, we get it, you didn't like the restaurant I picked. Give it a damn rest already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FIL put an entire head of butter lettuce, piece by piece, in our drain board. Like, draped it over the drain board. I quickly moved it to a colander, saying I wasn't sure when the last time we washed the drain board was.

He got offfeeeennnnndeeedddd.

A drain board like the rack you put over the sink to drain stuff on? Seems like an appropriate place for washed lettuce leaves to drain. And nice of him to try to help. What am I missing?

You're missing that a drain board is not throroughly washed every time it is used, the way a colander is. You're missing that there is no reason to use something the way it wasn't meant to be used when the right tool for the job is at hand.

Are you freaking out because of the romain lettuce thing? Because, otherwise, I think hanging leaves drain better than ones wadded up together in a colander. Unless you have a salad spinner.

Wait. I want to go back to the drain board. It's dirty, but you're putting your clean dishes on it to dry? It should be clean enough to eat off of, if your drying your dishes on it.