OMG. My mother is your MIL. |
| My in laws are racist but they have a black adopted baby grandson. So now they whisper their racist comments. The parents of the baby pretend they don’t hear. It’s bad. |
I'll trade you! My MIL keeps her house at 53 degrees, it's so miserable being at her house. That, and she is a racist. |
Lol guilts her into washing. |
Yeah, ok, like I didn’t try that first. She sees nothing wrong with interacting with the dogs, rubbing her nose and then starting to cook. It’s a no win situation. If I don’t eat, I hurt her feelings. If I hover, she thinks it’s annoying, but her feelings are fine and I can eat something. |
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MIL constantly complains about not seeing DD (they live far away) even though we've always told her she is always welcome. (I posted about this recently, in case this seems familiar to anyone).
It's annoying to constantly hear the pity party, so DH finally just told her yesterday to just book the ticket and stop complaining. We know they have the money for it, so that's not the issue. She said "oh but I don't know when you're available." He replied that we have one trip planned this year--in August--and are around pretty much all the time otherwise. She complains my parents will be closer to DD because they visit more often, but she doesn't work and can afford to come often enough to even it out. DH told her that, yes, my parents will be closer to DD if she doesn't just come visit. We'll see if it translates into any changes in behavior, but I'm glad he's trying to emphasize to her that her situation is completely in her own hands. |
Maybe she feels like she should help? Depending on her age, the women prepped the food and worked together. The everyone sat down to eat. Just give her a small task and let it go. |
Mil poster here. Yeah, ok. They have an open floor plan and it is pretty obvious to everyone she never washed her hands. I have no desire for food poisoning so I’ll hover until she “gets it”. |
| My ILs house is basically filthy. My MIL just cannot keep up with the house work and admits it. My FIL would never think of helping even if he could. She keeps talking about getting a cleaning lady and has the money for it but is to concerned people in her small town will gossip about how dirty her house it. Its just ridiculous. DH has talked to his parents about it but nothing changes. The dust was so bad this time my allergies were going crazy and I had to take benadryl nonstop just to get through the weekend. The towels were so musty that my 6 YO refused to dry off with one after her bath. Next time I'm going to have to sneak towels in our luggage and hope my MIL doesn't notice. Any attempts I made to clean were shut down by my MIL. Its just so frustrating. |
Wow, YOU'RE not getting it. She may not "get" that you hovering = she needs to wash her hands. You discreetly pulling her aside and saying, "Lisa, especially during cold and flu season, would you please wash your hands while you're cooking? If you need help with anything, I'm happy to pitch in" is fine. But you won't do that. You'll continue to be a passive aggressive bitch. I can tell. |
I have no desire for "the women" to do anything together while "the men" relax. No thanks, not a dynamic I care to continue. I am fine with DH and I doing the work while our guests relax. If I need any help, I know I can ask (and I often do). A good guest knows the difference between hanging out in the kitchen and chatting with the host and literally actually STANDING AROUND WAITING because food is all they can focus on. |
"Mary, Bob, I am more than happy to clean while I am here. But if I can't clean, I can't stay. The dust is irritating my eyes and my lungs. I don't think this is a clean, safe place for me or my child to be. If you let me clean, great. We'll stay. If not, we will be staying in a hotel for this visit and for all future visits." |
How awful. The baby's parents need to speak up. So should you, for that matter, if you haven't. |
+1. MIL sounds like an awful MIL. |
Hahaha. Ok then. You can tell from an online board how “awful” I am. In that same rational, you both sound like horribly ungrateful DILs. You see, I have asked nicely, cajoled, praised her cooking, etc...the list goes on. Poor thing is dumber than a box of rocks and only washes when reminded. Seriously, you two sound like really aggressive people but don’t worry, you will be an MIL eventually. Good luck with that. |