I feel like I'm the only person whose parents didn't pay for my education

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

100% disagree with this and agree with PP above. Kids have very little ownership in anything these days and work ethic is extremely low.

Then you are one of the bad parents the poster was calling out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. "

Oh yes it does.

Oh yes, it does? Not sure what post you are responding to, but you can’t be serious?

What about their apartment expenses, a new house, a new work wardrobe, their wedding, a car to commute in?

If you can afford it, you just keep giving them anything they need?

If you put a college education in the same category as those other things, we live in different worlds, and have little to discuss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am astounding that people believe they must pay for an optional education. Only on DCUM.

Nope. Not only on DCUM. In nearly every place where the parents are not selfish a-holes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. "

Oh yes it does.

Oh yes, it does? Not sure what post you are responding to, but you can’t be serious?

What about their apartment expenses, a new house, a new work wardrobe, their wedding, a car to commute in?

If you can afford it, you just keep giving them anything they need?

If you put a college education in the same category as those other things, we live in different worlds, and have little to discuss.

New poster. Aren’t you paying for their apartment, meals, clothes, and expenses if they go to school full time on your dime and not working or helping to contribute in their own adult lives? I am confused how they are indeed not in the same category.

What if they don’t get a job after graduation? Do you continue paying?
What if they go to grad school? Do you continue paying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

New poster. Aren’t you paying for their apartment, meals, clothes, and expenses if they go to school full time on your dime and not working or helping to contribute in their own adult lives? I am confused how they are indeed not in the same category.

What if they don’t get a job after graduation? Do you continue paying?
What if they go to grad school? Do you continue paying?

Irrelevant questions to the main issue: If you can pay for your kids' college and you don't, you are a shitty person and a bad parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t have a parent pay my schooling, but my DH did. Our experiences were world’s apart. You can bet we are paying our DD’s in full.

+1. Same here. I paid for my college at a state school and DH had every penny paid for at an expensive private university. His experience was so much better than mine and his friends from college are important in his business. He never took anything for granted and worked his ass off and got top grades. I was balancing school and a job and never had any time to experience college or make lasting friendships. I think I value my education less than DH does. And he got to take unpaid internships in his field and spend a semester in a college in France. Meanwhile I was working as a waitress and never got to do anything except study.

DD is only 3 but we will be paying for her college 100%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t have a parent pay my schooling, but my DH did. Our experiences were world’s apart. You can bet we are paying our DD’s in full.

+1. Same here. I paid for my college at a state school and DH had every penny paid for at an expensive private university. His experience was so much better than mine and his friends from college are important in his business. He never took anything for granted and worked his ass off and got top grades. I was balancing school and a job and never had any time to experience college or make lasting friendships. I think I value my education less than DH does. And he got to take unpaid internships in his field and spend a semester in a college in France. Meanwhile I was working as a waitress and never got to do anything except study.

DD is only 3 but we will be paying for her college 100%.

PP here with the dad who refused to pay - yep - I will be paying as much as we can - and we've been saving since they were born to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am astounding that people believe they must pay for an optional education. Only on DCUM.

+1

This place never ceases to amaze me.

[Anonymous]

In today's world - I don't consider it optional. Of course it is actually optional -- just like someone could drop out of high school at 16, emancipate themselves from their parents and never finish school. So high school graduation is optional, too. So is learning to read, if you think about it. But that's not reality.

If you want your kid to have a decent living -- 99.1% chance they have to go to college. About 0.9% will succeed without.

I am one of the PPs whose parents paid nothing for college. DH's parents paid for undergrad but not grad school. I will pay for both. That is what I have been working for -- if you working more than you literally need to survive ... then what exactly are you working for other than your family?

And to really rock everyone's world who thinks that college is optional -- I have saved more than enough for 4 years, without financial aid, for the most expensive college in the country for each DC. Basically more than $300K per kid. That's their money, in my view. If they decide to go in-State (which we also prepaid), it will cost hardly anything, and their $300K will be there for them for any reasonable purpose -- grad school, house, start up... I do not consider it my money - it's theirs, with some parental approval -- can't use it for new shoes.

[Anonymous]

So I get that one family does not make sample. But my parents paid 100% for me and my two siblings college AND grad school. Dad made a lot of money. All three of us have worked everyday since graduating and have lucrative careers. One spouse was stay at home. The other two spouses had to pay for their own college and grad school and have had year long gaps of no employment more than once, do not make nearly as much, appear to dislike job and frequently talk about retiring early (since spouse makes enough). Not at all bad spouses but just not the same work ethic. So imo making kids pay for college does not mean developing their habits for life. And having your education paid for does not make you a lazy fool. Times have changed. There is no one size fits all. But I think a parent is the best judge of whether or not there needs to be skin in the game for their kid and there does not need to be a set answer. Of course, this is if you can afford it in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

New poster. Aren’t you paying for their apartment, meals, clothes, and expenses if they go to school full time on your dime and not working or helping to contribute in their own adult lives? I am confused how they are indeed not in the same category.

What if they don’t get a job after graduation? Do you continue paying?
What if they go to grad school? Do you continue paying?

Irrelevant questions to the main issue: If you can pay for your kids' college and you don't, you are a shitty person and a bad parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In today's world - I don't consider it optional. Of course it is actually optional -- just like someone could drop out of high school at 16, emancipate themselves from their parents and never finish school. So high school graduation is optional, too. So is learning to read, if you think about it. But that's not reality.

If you want your kid to have a decent living -- 99.1% chance they have to go to college. About 0.9% will succeed without.

I am one of the PPs whose parents paid nothing for college. DH's parents paid for undergrad but not grad school. I will pay for both. That is what I have been working for -- if you working more than you literally need to survive ... then what exactly are you working for other than your family?

And to really rock everyone's world who thinks that college is optional -- I have saved more than enough for 4 years, without financial aid, for the most expensive college in the country for each DC. Basically more than $300K per kid. That's their money, in my view. If they decide to go in-State (which we also prepaid), it will cost hardly anything, and their $300K will be there for them for any reasonable purpose -- grad school, house, start up... I do not consider it my money - it's theirs, with some parental approval -- can't use it for new shoes.

Pray tell, oh holier than though PP, what is your HHI. Not everyone can do that, and just because you could does not make you a better parent. No doubt, you, like most people on these boards, were born on 3rd base and go through life thinking you've hit a triple. So, will your kids. I wonder whether you tithe and what percent of your income goes to charities that do not benefit you.

[Anonymous]

I expect my child to pay at least 20 percent of her college expenses, whether through a summer job, scholarships, loans, ROTC or some combination thereof. She is not entitled to a college education.

I've always told her that I am willing to pay no more than the cost of in-state in the Commonwealth of Virginia. She can pay the difference if she goes somewhere that costs more.

Right now, she has been accepted to UVA and W&M, and I can justify the additional $20K per year for Georgetown over either one of these two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In today's world - I don't consider it optional. Of course it is actually optional -- just like someone could drop out of high school at 16, emancipate themselves from their parents and never finish school. So high school graduation is optional, too. So is learning to read, if you think about it. But that's not reality.

If you want your kid to have a decent living -- 99.1% chance they have to go to college. About 0.9% will succeed without.

I am one of the PPs whose parents paid nothing for college. DH's parents paid for undergrad but not grad school. I will pay for both. That is what I have been working for -- if you working more than you literally need to survive ... then what exactly are you working for other than your family?

And to really rock everyone's world who thinks that college is optional -- I have saved more than enough for 4 years, without financial aid, for the most expensive college in the country for each DC. Basically more than $300K per kid. That's their money, in my view. If they decide to go in-State (which we also prepaid), it will cost hardly anything, and their $300K will be there for them for any reasonable purpose -- grad school, house, start up... I do not consider it my money - it's theirs, with some parental approval -- can't use it for new shoes.

You are clueless and obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In today's world - I don't consider it optional. Of course it is actually optional -- just like someone could drop out of high school at 16, emancipate themselves from their parents and never finish school. So high school graduation is optional, too. So is learning to read, if you think about it. But that's not reality.

If you want your kid to have a decent living -- 99.1% chance they have to go to college. About 0.9% will succeed without.

I am one of the PPs whose parents paid nothing for college. DH's parents paid for undergrad but not grad school. I will pay for both. That is what I have been working for -- if you working more than you literally need to survive ... then what exactly are you working for other than your family?

And to really rock everyone's world who thinks that college is optional -- I have saved more than enough for 4 years, without financial aid, for the most expensive college in the country for each DC. Basically more than $300K per kid. That's their money, in my view. If they decide to go in-State (which we also prepaid), it will cost hardly anything, and their $300K will be there for them for any reasonable purpose -- grad school, house, start up... I do not consider it my money - it's theirs, with some parental approval -- can't use it for new shoes.

You are clueless and obnoxious.

You are jealous and obvious.

Not the PP you are replying to, but he sounds like someone with his priorities in proper order.