I feel like I'm the only person whose parents didn't pay for my education

[Anonymous]

My parents, who were farmers, and did not go to college, paid for myself and my sibling for undergrad at a state university. I paid for law school myself in the early 1990's when it was much cheaper with loans, part-time and summer jobs. I am very grateful for my parent's help.

[Anonymous]

My parents did not pay for nor encourage me to go to college. It was while I was working for a highly reputable organization as an administrative assistant that I decided to take college courses in the evening. I took two classes per semester and summer sessions for several years until I earned my bachelor's. The company had 100% tuition reimbursement, so you could say they paid for my education. Lucky me, right? Well not so much because I never had the chance to experience college life like all my friends had.

However, it is with gratitude that I am now in the financial position to pay for both of my kids' college tuition 100% to whatever school they choose.

[Anonymous]

GI Bill

[Anonymous]

I'll be the guy who supports the OP's side.

If you are a parent who can afford to pay for your child's education but chooses not to, you are a shitty person and a bad parent.

[Anonymous]

I joined the army for six years and worked while I was getting my undergrad degree. Scholarships, grants and the GI Bill paid for my JD/PhD. DH also went to city college and worked his way through his undergrad degree. However, my DD’s college will be paid for 100% by us. DH and I see no isolated value in having had to work so hard.

[Anonymous]

I had six figure debt that I had to scrimp and save to pay off. It took me 10 long broke years.

I’m contributing $700/month per child into 529s with the hope that will help them in some meaningful way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one?! I feel like it. I come across sooo many people who were lucky enough for their parents to pay for college. My loans have increased $12,000 in interest since the 8 years I’ve been out of college. It just sucks....

I get it, OP. Those whose parents paid for grad school (and undergrad) were in such a different financial position when they took that first job! They could start saving right away for a house and think about getting married and having a family. I felt like those people were 10 yrs ahead financially. BUT, you can't change the past. You simply have to make the best of it. I had $70K in loans (that was 20 yrs ago). I was unemployed for a little while. Almost stopped paying. Was *this* close to moving out of my apartment and moving from VA to CT to live rent-free with a friend until something came along... and then ... I got a temp job, and that led to a real job eventually, and when DH and I got married, we used all of my salary to pay off those loans in 2 yrs, before we had kids.... and on and on. So, yes, we are debt-free. Own our house out-right. No car loans, no school loans. No on-going credit card debts.

There isn't any magic. It's just about making decisions the prioritize getting rid of debt.

But, because of how much we hate debt and how much further ahead my peers were when they had no debt -- I definitely would like to help our kids have minimal debt. It's probably good for them to have some skin in the game.

Bottom line -- if you can do better for your kids, do it. If you can't, then just do the best you can. We all have things that make our lives easier than other people in some ways and harder than others in some ways. Don't allow yourself to be jealous. Just do all you can to get rid of your own debt. When you are happy with your life situation, you won't be so tempted to compare yourself to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll be the guy who supports the OP's side.

If you are a parent who can afford to pay for your child's education but chooses not to, you are a shitty person and a bad parent.

We can afford to pay for any college in full. I have one in college, at a private school - it is paid for by a combination academic scholarship, college fund, student loans and cash. She is also working 2 jobs. She pays for her books and living expenses with her jobs. It is a bit of a tough road from time to time but I do think it important that she understands the importance of her education and feels "ownership" in providing for it as an adult - because that's what she is, an adult. We anticipate the debt she graduates with to be less than $15K. I agree that contributing nothing to a kid's education when you can more than afford to do so is unfortunate, but I think there is *immense* value in making sure the kids have skin in the game.

[Anonymous]

My parents didn't contribute a dime to my education. I worked 15-20 hours during the school year and 40 hours during the summers and was able to graduate with a very small amount of loans that I paid off within 3 years of graduating. But this was in the late 80s, I was a Michigan resident, and the cost all-in was about $3000/year.

I think the college prices of today just make it a whole different landscape. How old are you, OP? I do agree with having skin in the game but there's just no way my kids could do what I did, even if we were residents of Michigan. (Out of state? Even more impossible.)

[Anonymous]

You're not alone. I didn't take out loans. I got financial aid and worked both full time and part time. I remember how I was uncomfortable wearing my work clothes to school and used to change into more casual clothes in my car in the school parking lot. I lived at home (and paid rent) and when my parents figured out I was doing that, they thought I was nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll be the guy who supports the OP's side.

If you are a parent who can afford to pay for your child's education but chooses not to, you are a shitty person and a bad parent.

+1

[Anonymous]

My parents paid for some semesters, but not others. I went to a state school (CA) in the 90s and tuition was very reasonable (If I recall correctly, it was around $1200/semester!)

I worked full time shift work at a grocery store to pay rent (apartment off campus, dorm was more expensive), food, and for a car (necessary to get to school and work.) My grades definitely weren't great because half the time I was falling asleep in class, due to my erratic schedule. I wish I could have taken out loans. Unfortunately, because I was under 25, my parents (relatively high) income still counted--even though they were not providing.

[Anonymous]

Today's tuition rates are highway robbery. No person should have to go into debt of six figures for an undergraduate degree.

[Anonymous]

You are not. No one is "owed this".

[Anonymous]

You are not the only person. All foreign students I know paid their own tuition while working full time. Parents may have helped with a one-way ticket here.